Is It Safe To Tell My Therapist About Suicidal Ideation?

[RuthieJujube]

I imagine this has been brought up in other posts ... so redirect me if necessary.

I'm afraid to have an honest conversation with my therapist about suicidal ideation. I've told her that I experience this but that I have no intention of killing myself.

These feelings generally come in waves, sometimes strong. But what scares me more are the impulses, the sudden feeling that I am trash and wouldn't it be easier to just check out?

I have never made an attempt and I don't want to. But could these impulses be an actual threat to my life?

I don't know what sucidial ideation is like for others who experience, so I am not sure if my feelings are normal or if they need to be treated more seriously.

Also, is it normal to think of actual scenarios of how you would play it out? These seem to pop into my head when I'm having bad days, but the scenarios feel apart from my own self and what my own mind knows to be best.

 

[sonicwhite]

I tried to commit suicide. It was a drug fueled psychotic hyper dream that led me to believe that cannibals and zombies where after me. I remember being in the Ambulance and scared I was never going to see anyone again. So mine was impulsive and if you can see the triggers you are in good shape. However I did not and was clueless about life and totally unaware the dangers of drugs.



To play a scene out in your head almost to me anyways feels like "I got back at you" type of suicide but I know you have PTSD so I can't answer on thinking it through, only from what I have done like example I got so mad at my ex I thought ending my life would hurt her to you being able to play it out and maybe that's extreme. You tdoc should always know about this. Because it's like a light switch it just turns off and bam. So please with all do respect let them know and they will either want to get help via Psych ward or just talking it truth but yes everything needs to be out in the open.

 

[Fadeaway]

Suicidal ideation for me is wanting to die to escape the pain and thinking about ways I can do it and thinking about the things I would need to do prior, and what the aftermath would be when I was gone.

The difference comes when you have a plan. I understand being afraid to talk to your therapist. They all handle it differently, but a good therapist will know if you are at risk of acting or not. I have had ones that jump to conclusions and are ready to admit me, and others who asked all the right questions to determine if I had a plan, or if I just wanted relief from my symptoms.

 

[Justmehere]

Generally, as long as you can "plan for safety" - which is engage in a conversation about things to do to try manage the feelings and thoughts, therapists often do not seek to have someone be hospitalized in the US. Most ER's in the US won't keep someone if they can list three things they will do to stay safe.

The fact that you are having the thoughts that you are is good information for the therapist to know. It will help her tailor your treatment to help you better to be safe, and out of hospital, like you want to be. It's a sign you are overwhelmed and hurting, and that alone is important for figuring out how to treat your PTSD.

If you do tell her what's happening for you, and you can't safety plan, then being in the hospital for a few days is better than the long term damage that tends to happen with acting on suicidal intent.

I get really strong waves of sucidial thoughts at times. They will come and go pretty intensely and quickly. It is a strange experience and I was scared to tell my therapist as well. When I told her, it really helped. It doesn't happen so often and I can manage them better and better.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I have chronic suicidal ideation. Like you, it comes in waves with varying intensity. You speak of impulses that concern you. I call them compulsions for me because with those, the psychic pain is so intense, I self harm to relieve the pain and get some endorphins in my brain. Since I have started energy work in addition to mainstream trauma therapy, I have experienced a marked reduction in my compulsiveness.
I have accidentally overdosed on Xanax and sleeping pills. I just took too much and lesson learned. You do not want the brain damage you get from doing that.
I have always been honest with my therapist about my struggles with suicidal ideation, but not my Psychiatrist because I don't trust him. From what I have gleaned over the years, suicidal ideation is common among those of us that have PTSD. Under what conditions does that lead to an actual attempt, I don't know. I feel that by being honest with my therapist, who has endured many hours of my distress and has never made me feel diminished, that connection will help me stay safe. Try not to be so isolated that no one knows the depths of your despair. We've all been there too and we are here to help each other. You're doing a great thing by reaching out for advice.

 

[Leah123]

I am sorry you're feeling so pained. I've been there several times. Your suicidal ideations fit my idea of normal, it's how they are for me too and similar to other descriptions I've heard.

Therapists are all different, but my general opinion based on my own therapy with a few and the stories I've heard from others is that I personally would feel safe sharing what you have with my therapist. I've told her those things and she's not felt the need to break confidentiality or escalate the issue. The worst it ever got was once when she asked me to tell her clearly that I was not going to kill myself or she would have to take it more seriously, which was earlier in our relationship. I told her I was not going to kill myself and that was the end of it.

I hope you feel better soon. I think sharing it can help.

 

[Neverthesame]

I can't guarantee nothing will happen.

If you wish to discuss it with your therapist. I recommend that before you bring it up with them, make up a list of things you will do to help keep you from going from ideation to intent.

1. Talking to someone you trust (include phone number)
2. Using grounding or avoidance to distract yourself from suicidal urges. (put details here, what specifically you do)
3. Calling your local crisis centre (include phone number)
4. Call local emergency services (911)

The more things you can think of the better. This will help you prove that you are serious about not following through. That you are interested in working out what is making you feel this way, that you are talking about it to work through it, not as a cry for help before drastic action.

If it helps. I have spoken to my doctor, as well as therapists about this, when I was feeling this way. I have yet to be locked up.