What will happen if I tell my therapist I feel suicidal?

[Starfire]

Had a discussion with T just recently. Kind of a review. T said: if I say I am a danger to myself or others, give him the ways & means of a plan, he is *legally* required to request hospitalization, evaluation or a wellness check by police. If I can convince them I'm not meeting their requirements, they will release me. If I feel that hospitalization is best for me, he will call ahead, pave the way, accompany me & tell them what is going on if I want. He will also select a hospital where he can be part of the therapy team. He will not refuse to see me...other therapists have. But will want some concrete steps to disable plan. Darn, that seemed so reasonable!!! State laws differ, licencing organization requirements differ. Best recommendation I have is talk to your T about how he handles such situations. Mine even wrote it out in an email I could keep it. Take care

 

[BlueSkiesAhead]

For me the first time I had to tell my therapist about this was truly a big moment of her gaining my trust. She was very calm and in no way threatened me with commitment (obviously had it come to it she would have done what she needed to to protect me). This experience genuinely was a big part of what saved my life. From that point on I knew that no matter how scary the thoughts and intentions were I had a place where I could talk about them and let them live somewhere other than in my own head. The first time I couldn’t verbalize it and all I could do was sit there and cry. To a certain extent I think she knew what I needed to tell her so she offered me a pen and paper and I wrote it down. Even then I had a really hard time handing it over. To this day it’s one of the hardest things that I ever had to do but all it took was 1 sec of bravery to throw that piece of paper her way and a lot of growth and trust building came out of it. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me telling her this. I finally felt a little less alone. I eventually ended up in an intensive outpatient program but because we had an open line of communication around the topic it was a mutually agreed upon decision. Most therapists are comfortable in these conversations and are not likely to overreact to what you’re saying. It’s hard. Even having the desire to think about telling someone is so brave.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s great to hear you had a positive response from your therapist and that telling her helped you.

I hope if I do manage to tell him that it I will feel a little better for sharing how I feel. I do think it will be good to have someone I can talk to about it because I can’t tell anyone else how I feel, I don’t want to upset family or make them worry etc.

Had a discussion with T just recently. Kind of a review. T said: if I say I am a danger to myself or others, give him the ways & means of a plan, he is *legally* required to request hospitalization, evaluation or a wellness check by police. If I can convince them I'm not meeting their requirements, they will release me. If I feel that hospitalization is best for me, he will call ahead, pave the way, accompany me & tell them what is going on if I want. He will also select a hospital where he can be part of the therapy team. He will not refuse to see me...other therapists have. But will want some concrete steps to disable plan. Darn, that seemed so reasonable!!! State laws differ, licencing organization requirements differ. Best recommendation I have is talk to your T about how he handles such situations. Mine even wrote it out in an email I could keep it. Take care

Thanks for replying. I think this is what worries me.. I know how, I have they means but it’s not like I have set x date. Sometimes I feel “okay” other times I feel so overwhelmed with things and my thoughts that I feel like it’s the only option and it’s in those moments that it would be likely to happen, I felt really close last week but I self harmed instead and that was enough to distract me until it passed.

I do think it would be good for me to know his stance and I like the fact your t sent an email detailing it that’s a good idea. Your therapist sounds nice, the fact he said he would still be part of therapy etc.

 

[Starfire]

The email was reassuring to me. Kind of a see here you promised! A suggestion my T had was make one part of the plan difficult to access. Not impossible but more difficult. Puts time, effort, been thought & ability to care it out. Take care of yourself,............

 

[Sideways]

I hope if I do manage to tell him that it I will feel a little better for sharing how I feel.

Keep in mind: this is one of your symptoms. Like all our other symptoms, it’s one that our T can help us with - treatment, and skills to manage it in the meantime. Telling your T about where your head is at is simply the first step in getting treatment:)

 

[Starfire]

Recently had this discussion with T. Here's what he did: he explained if there is a precise plan & means & intent, he is legally required to take steps to prevent it. Either by notifying police, calling for hospital assessment if he feels he has failed to talk me out of it. I will decide how much he or I tell them about what is going on. If I can convince them, I'm not in danger, they will release me. He will not refuse to see me but would help complete a concrete step to disable plan. If I felt the need for prevention hospitalization, he would accompany me to the hospital, pave the way & be a part of treatment team. We agreed on this plan. He even emailed me our agreement so I have it in black & white. We are both clear exactly what steps will be taken & what will happen, what to expect. We've done this on other topics before they have become issues.

 

[Ronin]

This thing is one of my dealbreakers / how they treat suicide in general, & how they are likely to treat suicidality as a symptom, & if it can be disclosed to them at all.

It is one of the things I am hardest... many things, around. & Usually the last thing I need when actively suicidal is someone to hand me off to enemies (& which half of the support systems register as, for good reasons), or tell me how it is the end of all (if I believe in ends that thoroughly, not ok in the first place / more used to think in cyclicity & sortability of things, so to insist it is The Big End just pushes me deeper into suicidal No Future territory I am trying to think my way out of). Or hear things about selfishness & weakness that do not apply to my honor understanding of taking lives, & duties around that (So more likely to just infuriate me, like what, I am not thinking of this out of cowardice, shush the insults).

Way better with the unorthodox people who will seriously talk with me about the options around those options, disadvantages, & the lastingness of advantages. Brings me down just well, the kind of, fiine, reluctantly admitting the advantages do not outweight the disadvantages, I would not be around to know the result so a fail anyway, & see you next session, or year, I will be well & too pissed off to show my face with you meantime, but no worries about ending. :D

 

[BlueSkiesAhead]

The email was reassuring to me. Kind of a see here you promised! A suggestion my T had was make one part of the plan difficult to access. Not impossible but more difficult. Puts time, effort, been thought & ability to care it out. Take care of yourself,............

That sounds like a good idea about trying to make things more difficult.

Recently had this discussion with T. Here's what he did: he explained if there is a precise plan & means & intent, he is legally required to take steps to prevent it. Either by notifying police, calling for hospital assessment if he feels he has failed to talk me out of it. I will decide how much he or I tell them about what is going on. If I can convince them, I'm not in danger, they will release me. He will not refuse to see me but would help complete a concrete step to disable plan. If I felt the need for prevention hospitalization, he would accompany me to the hospital, pave the way & be a part of treatment team. We agreed on this plan. He even emailed me our agreement so I have it in black & white. We are both clear exactly what steps will be taken & what will happen, what to expect. We've done this on other topics before they have become issues.

It sounds like you have a brilliant t! I have a plan and the means but intent comes and goes so I’m not sure what he will do but I’m going to ask him some questions next time before talking about it. Sometimes it’s a fleeting thought but on other occasions it’s intense and almost impossible to ignore.

Keep in mind: this is one of your symptoms. Like all our other symptoms, it’s one that our T can help us with - treatment, and skills to manage it in the meantime. Telling your T about where your head is at is simply the first step in getting treatment:)

Thank you. I have been struggling with wondering what he can actually do to help other than trying to admit me to hospital as I really think I need some help but don’t want to be hospitalised.

This thing is one of my dealbreakers / how they treat suicide in general, & how they are likely to treat suicidality as a symptom, & if it can be disclosed to them at all.

It is one of the things I am hardest... many things, around. & Usually the last thing I need when actively suicidal is someone to hand me off to enemies (& which half of the support systems register as, for good reasons), or tell me how it is the end of all (if I believe in ends that thoroughly, not ok in the first place / more used to think in cyclicity & sortability of things, so to insist it is The Big End just pushes me deeper into suicidal No Future territory I am trying to think my way out of). Or hear things about selfishness & weakness that do not apply to my honor understanding of taking lives, & duties around that (So more likely to just infuriate me, like what, I am not thinking of this out of cowardice, shush the insults).

Way better with the unorthodox people who will seriously talk with me about the options around those options, disadvantages, & the lastingness of advantages. Brings me down just well, the kind of, fiine, reluctantly admitting the advantages do not outweight the disadvantages, I would not be around to know the result so a fail anyway, & see you next session, or year, I will be well & too pissed off to show my face with you meantime, but no worries about ending. :D

Thanks for replying. I agree that what people say and how they might act when you tell them is a big worry. I can only hope when I do manage to talk to them they will be understanding and helpful. The not knowing how they will react can be unnerving.