Relationship Is Physical Abuse A Possibility?

[Mummy_Mary]

Im recently married to a severe PTSD sufferer. Its a Jekyll/Hyde situation, where his moods are all over the place. We havent had made love in 7 months, and before that was another 6 month drought. Im trying to be supportive, but now have my own issues because of his issues, and am on anti-depressants. Sounds like fun huh?

I bought up the lack of sex life in conversation, and he reacted pretty strongly. He even raised his hand, in a fist, and I took a step backwards. He then left the room. Later he swore he had not intended to hit me, but was considering hitting a wall/door etc (but controlled himself). He got pretty upset that I thought he would hit me. But thats how I felt - thus the step backwards.

I refuse to let this descend into physical abuse. Do you guys think thats whats happening?? My gut says he would never hit me, but im sure most people think that before they get hit.

Hes getting counselling, and is on meds. This just seems to keep getting worse though.

 

[Sarah Lewis]

Unfortunately things will get worse before they get better. It must be hard for you. I'm a PTSD sufferer and if I am honest making love or the thought of makes me cringe !! So I guess it's part of the illness. That said I'm single.

Maybe try and find other ways to be close together. Watching a movie or a walk in the country. Try not to mention the illness and focus on something else. We don't like confrontation as we feel trapped. That's probably why the fist was shacking it was fear maybe !

Hope this helps. Hang in there xx

 

[Sweetpea76]

Everybody is different... It's hard to say what may or may not happen. Just because he has PTSD doesn't mean he will be violent though. I don't know what his specific trauma was, but statistically vets with combat PTSD are no more likely to commit domestic violence than any other vet.

However, if you are afraid, then it is probably good to set some boundaries. Such as letting him know that raising a fist in your presence is not cool, even if it is to just hit the wall, and if he does it again, you are leaving the room until he calms down.