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Is there such a thing as too casual?

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Ew. I was going to side with your T until you said this. There's casual, and then there's disrespectful.

And then there's situational and cultural :) We are in the subtropics, so everyone's wearing slippers to begin with. It's cultural to take off your shoes upon entering a home, some businesses actually follow suit. My T even puts her feet up on the chair and I couldn't care less. Makes her human (for me).

We all have different characters. Including our Ts (and PsyDocs etc.). I would feel really uncomfortable with someone in super formal dress - someone else needs exactly that. Me personally, I'd feel really weird if there's someone who's just not the type for formality who was forced into formal attire by some random dress code or societal expectation. If the other person I am supposed to confide in is uncomfortable to begin with, how am I supposed to be comfortable?

Talk about it with the T - and if it remains something that genuinely bothers you (and there isn't something else going on), maybe consider switching Ts. Sometimes we just don't connect and the way we dress (and behave) is a showcase of our personality.
 
We take our shoes off when we walk in the house. When I really seriously started being at home and took responsibility about the house being clean (not that it wasn't always up to me, it was) I implemented that policy, and it was a real pain in he ass to make them all do it.

As far as not being able to mention the temperature in the office because it's rude, I was brought up the same way, but one of my early therapists drilled into me that these service providers work for me.

My wife takes this (being polite) to what I consider and absurd extreme but, there's always something to be said for manners. Like other people don't have any lol.
 
1. Could you change before you leave work? This seems easy enough - just use a few minutes of your work day to pop into the restroom and alter your outfit.
2. Could you re-adjust your own perceptions of "proper" dress and what that means in the workplace?
I could change before I leave work but the way the restrooms are placed in relation to my office I would prefer not to, I don't like to advertise to clients in the lobby that I am leaving work early for the day every Monday.
Can I re-adjust my perceptions, I could but there comes a time when I believe that certain things have gone further than what they should. For example if he were to show up in surfer shorts, a t-shirt and sandals I would be out the door. I struggle with adjusting to change and for me his style of dress on top of consolidating office locations, changing my therapy time and his leaving for 4 months I guess makes me feel like he does not place that much value on the work that he does and the people that he works with. Yes all perceptions, all my issues but I feel as though he doesn't take the work/career as seriously as he could.

We take our shoes off when we walk in the house.
I have a no shoes policy in my home as well but in a public place such as the office, not so much even though now that I think about it there are times when I will walk around the office with socks on or socks over my hose because my feet are hurting from standing to long in heels. But I would not greet clients in the lobby in that fashion and if I kick off my shoes in my office when there is someone there I am hidden behind my desk.

when I catch myself being caught up over things that I know don't really matter, I'm really upset about something larger.
Maybe this is the actual issue. This is my third T since moving to my current location 13 months ago (I saw two at the same time for a couple of months at the beginning as I didn't feel a connection with any T when I first moved) and a part of me is feeling abandoned by his following his wife and leaving his practice to all but teletherapy for the semester maybe I should bring that up but I don't want him to think I am too attached which I don't know if I am or not but not something I want to explore at a point when he is leaving soon.
 
this mode is very different but quite ok
I have attempted teletherapy before right after the move. I am hoping that this time goes smoother as I have an established relationship with my T I am not attempting to establish one through video conferencing. The technology was the issue, there was time lags with the video and audio, the way the camera was focused neither of us could read body language as it was a head shot only and it didn't work.
 
One of the Ts who worked the hardest for me and helped me achieve some of my biggest recovery milestones? Got around in Crocs.

You can google that, but essentially they’re absolutely hideous rubber slip on crimes-against-fashion. He wore them because they were comfy and easy to slip off, and no, he didn’t care whether his patients approved or were uncomfortable with his footwear choice.

Because it says absolutely nothing about his skill as a therapist. Or my ability to work with him. Which are the things that determine whether or not I’ll stick with a T.

You know people have different dress standards to you. And that’s totally okay. You have your standards, they have theirs.

But is it something you really want to rest your recovery on?
 
@Sideways you are right that what he wears really has no indication of how professional or effective a therapist he is and as I have gotten feedback from people here in this thread I think that his clothes/appearance is something that is bothering me because it does bother me that he is leaving soon, I am worried that he won't come back, that teletherapy will be a disaster and I will struggle and spiral down negatively while he is gone. I was a disaster on the edge of suicide just a few weeks ago and he will be gone through a significant part of the year when I have several anniversaries and struggle with family and the holidays.
 
I was a disaster on the edge of suicide just a few weeks ago and he will be gone through a significant part of the year when I have several anniversaries and struggle with family and the holidays.
I totally get it. Sometimes focusing on something else is avoidance, but sometimes we’re being kind to ourselves just giving our brain a bit of a break from all the hard stuff.

You have a great history here of putting up threads to work your way through difficult periods. They are now an awesome resource you have in your arsenal.

If you know that some difficult times are around the corner? It would be helpful and reassuring to have your T close by for that.

But don’t underestimate yourself. Every time you’ve worked your way through one of these difficult periods (and some of yours have been really tough), you get skills that you can reuse.

Planning ahead for these periods? (So long as it doesn’t turn into catastrophising) can be a really helpful thing to do. Having a plan of some kind in place; key indicators written down about what you know you’re like when you’re going downhill, that you can look out for; strategies to use at those key points (like coming back here!).

You’re going to get through this. Your T isn’t perfect (nor is his dress sense by the sound of it), but you don’t need him to be. The lived experience you have accumulated on how to get through these periods? Can be super helpful.
 
It is so incredibly cold in my therapist’s office...against her wishes, year round. The amount of casual behavior that we have had to do in order to stay warm is unreal. Keep in mind, I live in a year round warm climate. It doesn’t really matter what either of us wears because we will both be under some sort of sweater jacket or blanket. I am actually quite impressed with the variety of wraps she owns. I keep my “therapy blanket” in my car. I bring it every time. There is also a borrow blanket. She has her own blanket. Sometimes she wraps it around her legs if she is wearing a skirt. She is dressy casual. I am mostly casual due to my line of work. Her clothes, boots and outfits of all styles are quite adorable. She has really take her age and added appropriate, attractive fashion. She added a space heater—also year round. I need her to not be too formal. In the times that I was scared of her, she would sit cross legged on her couch or be less formal all around. I think that she is excellent in her planning of clothes.
 
it does bother me that he is leaving soon, I am worried that he won't come back, that teletherapy will be a disaster and I will struggle and spiral down negatively while he is gone. I was a disaster on the edge of suicide just a few weeks ago and he will be gone through a significant part of the year when I have several anniversaries and struggle with family and the holidays.
That, right there, is what you should probably discuss when him. It will help him to know that's on your mind and a concern. It will help him to know about the anniversaries and stuff too. I think it might help you too, to know that he's aware. It might make it easier to bring up, especially when you're adjusting to a new method of communication.
 
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