Is This Disassociation? It Really Scared Me

[Heather]

A few weeks ago I was driving and it's a road I am VERY familiar with. I've driven it a 100 times. I was going to turn up the hill and take a short cut over to route 1 to get to my friends house. I completely missed the turn and was disoriented. I didn't know where I was and I couldn't get bearings for about 30 seconds. It really freaked me out. Is this disassociation?

 

[Darkness Shines]

Yes, that is disassociation. My husband (who's also PTSD) has done the same thing probably a hundred times. Getting completely disoriented in familiar surroundings is his most obvious symptom, and it annoys him more than anything, I think.

My trick, when driving, is to set the GPS with the volume up high so it gets my attention and keeps me from missing turns, because I go into mild disassociation almost all the time when I'm driving. My disassociation is milder, and not a hazard as far as accidents are concerned, but I'll pretty much drive in a straight line until the road ends or I run out of gas, lol. So I set the GPS even for routes I've driven 100x and know by heart.

 

[Abstract]

Yes, Heather. I believe it is. I try to take it one step at a time if something like this happens as anxiety can worsen the symptoms. It is just a matter of part of your fuctioning being disconnected from the rest. pretty nasty though, I know.

 

[Heather]

I think it happened the other day again. I went to check to see if my daughters bus was coming and looked out the window. I didn't see it. I went back inside. I don't know what happened. I always hear the bus through the window. 2 minutes later the phone rang and it was my neighbor saying she had my daughter and that the bus had already come. I said, "how did I miss the bus?". I didn't hear it. I always hear and see the bus. It's big, noisy and yellow!

I don't know what's going on with me lately. I'm scared because I keep blanking on things and losing time. It's freaking me out!

 

[Abstract]

I read and responded to your other thread about your t. Are you particularly stressed at present? Dissociation tends to just be a coping method to buffer high stress or emotion levels. Can you do anything to bring down some of your anxiety? What coping methods are you using? Sorry to hear this is still going on.
It also can be really helpful to remind yourself dissociation is something everyone does to some extent. That most of the time it is not dangerous at all. I know it is horrid but worrying makes it happen more.

 

[Heather]

. Can you do anything to bring down some of your anxiety?.

Not without going to prison. HA.

Seriously, I just started EMDR. My trauma therapist taught me a safe place along with a relaxation technique. My h.w. until I see her next week is to practice it at least once a day.

I was practicing it today and I guess it worked so well I was so relaxed I put myself to sleep!

Thanks Abstract for the reply and the advice

Take care. Heather

 

[Ted Moen]

I have missed turns on expressways and ended up at the welcome sign for a state 150 miles away from where I was going, and had to do a million u turns or reroutes, but not due to disassociation. Intrusive thoughts demand my attention and next thing I know I have no idea of where I am. GPSs are great! In my mind disassociation is when you actually block out what you are doing (or what is being done to you) and develope a completely alternative explanation for the sensations you are experiencing. Tim O'Brien has a book "Going After Cacciato" that involves a soldier on a dangerous mission disassociating. Sometimes the feeling you are monitoring yourself as you switch between explanations is involved. Disassociation is way more than being distracted by intrusive thoughts. It would be best to discuss the details with a clinical psychologist.

Ted

 

[BloomInWinter]

Not without going to prison. HA.

OMG Thanks for that! I needed that laugh!

 

[Heather]

I know it is horrid but worrying makes it happen more.

The more I think about what happened the more freaked I feel. Cause when I was waiting for her I was standing in the hallway looking out the window. Then I stepped inside my apt. I have 3 huge windows that look onto the main road where the bus comes. The bus is SO LOUD AND NOISY. It sounds like an airplane landing.

So, I'm baffled as to how I didn't at least see it or hear it. I didn't go into the kitchen or goto the b.r. I was standing right by the door. I literally blanked on time. That's the scary part.

So, I'm probably doing the exact thing that you said not to: worry. I just don't like this it's scary.

 

[allitherapy]

I know it's scary; similar things have happened to me as well. I agree with Abstract that worrying about it may make it worse. Of course, it's really hard not to think about it or worry about it! I'm not sure if your worry is just about the dissociation in general, or this particular circumstance. If you're worried you might miss the bus again, maybe you could wait outside for your daughter so you won't be in a position to miss her again. I'm not sure if that's possible, or if it would help, but just throwing it out there.

 

[Heather]

Now that the weather is getting nicer I'll be waiting outside for her ....so, missing the bus probably won't be an issue.

It's about the dissociation in general. This whole thing freaks me out. Not use to it. Thanks, Alli

 

[Abstract]

Hi Heather,
I could swear I posted a link to a nice desciption of the spectrum of dissociation as thought it may help you but the post is gone! I have a horrible feeling a transgressed a rule and for that I am sorry.:(

Things such as missing a stop in road, not listening properly to a converstaion and driving from a to b without remembering, almost everyone does and it is a form of dissociation.
Even getting wonderfully caught up in concentration is a form of dissociation. So dissociation itself is not an illness at all and is a normal part of the functioning of human beings.
The important thing about it is what it is telling you. It is a handy barometer to evaluate your triggers and your stress levels. It tells you that your mind needs a break!

Please know that I am not invalidating your frustration! It can be very disorientating and scary and wanting to feel differently about something does not mean it happens! But it is actually not as strange as we can first think so I hope you start feeling less afraid.
Take care!