Backstory: I am from another culture so some of the things I am going to describe may sound odd or oldfashioned for your ears. I am not going to say which one, partly for the sake of anonymity, partly because I am not sure how to best call it in English and partly because on another board people spend so much time discussing how they don‘t like my culture when I asked this question there.
In my culture a person is typically called by her last name a a sign of respect, married women are called by their husbands last name... but among friends people are called by their first names. In country some people greet a married woman by kissing her hand, but it is falling out if fashion and not that usual.
Now there is a man who is friends with both my husbands family and mine. He is a man of good reputation. I did not see him often in the past but will see more of him in the future.
There is something about this guy that creeps me out. It is basically the way he looks at me and other young women... and I have been feeling creeped out by him for years and always avoided to be alone with him. Years ago my brother told me basically he did not like the way this man was looking at me and nearly asked him to „have a word with him“, but then he did not because in my culture having a word about things like this more often than not results in a fight. So he just advised me to never be alone with the guy.
This guy often kisses my hand though I asked him not to but he just said „you must allow me that. I am old school“ or „You must allow me that. You look stunning today“.
I also feel very uncomfortable with him calling me by my first name or sometimes even nick name.
I did not ask this at an etiquette forum because I think it is not so much about etiquette but I am not sure if I should just get over myself or if he is overstepping his boundaries.
Thanks for your answers in advance.
I do not have PTSD, my dh has btw.
In my culture a person is typically called by her last name a a sign of respect, married women are called by their husbands last name... but among friends people are called by their first names. In country some people greet a married woman by kissing her hand, but it is falling out if fashion and not that usual.
Now there is a man who is friends with both my husbands family and mine. He is a man of good reputation. I did not see him often in the past but will see more of him in the future.
There is something about this guy that creeps me out. It is basically the way he looks at me and other young women... and I have been feeling creeped out by him for years and always avoided to be alone with him. Years ago my brother told me basically he did not like the way this man was looking at me and nearly asked him to „have a word with him“, but then he did not because in my culture having a word about things like this more often than not results in a fight. So he just advised me to never be alone with the guy.
This guy often kisses my hand though I asked him not to but he just said „you must allow me that. I am old school“ or „You must allow me that. You look stunning today“.
I also feel very uncomfortable with him calling me by my first name or sometimes even nick name.
I did not ask this at an etiquette forum because I think it is not so much about etiquette but I am not sure if I should just get over myself or if he is overstepping his boundaries.
Thanks for your answers in advance.
I do not have PTSD, my dh has btw.
