Is This Ptsd Related, And Have You Heard Of This?

[La La Lu]

I have a strange symptom that I'm almost positive is PTSD related, but I could be wrong. I've not found it anywhere else online, and when I mention it to a general practitioner, they either look at me like I'm nuts or just humor me with an honest response of, "No I have never heard of that before..."

Before I describe this, what I am looking for is your opinion. Definitely if someone else experiences this, please share. But also please help me find a word for it. And definitely, if you know anything to help get rid of it, I'd really be interested because this happens to me at job interviews, and I got an important one coming up soon.

First off, severe moments of it, when I'm being tickled or laughing really hard, I lose a lot of control of all my muscles. Like it's so bad, everyone knows not to make me laugh when I'm holding one of the kids, especially the baby because I'm afraid I will drop them. It's like I can kinda coach my fall (or a drop) where I am losing muscle control of my arms that I slide down gravity so it's not a fall, though I have hit my head pretty hard on things during the slide. I also cannot smile or talk, and the arms instantly want to drop and my knees want to give in, and sometimes I do drool (embarrassing enough). I don't shake or anything, I just sit still until I can stop laughing inside and then it usually takes about 10 to 30 seconds to regain composure.

Second, milder moments of it, when I'm really nervous, I start to lose muscle control, but not to the point where I'm falling. Usually, you'll see me ready to tell a joke that i think is funny, so my mouth hangs open and my head falls forward and my arms drop until I regain composure and finish what I'm saying, and sometimes I just give up and keep it all to myself. And it's really embarrassing too because I almost drool and I probably make some stupid half laugh sounds in the process.

Third, even milder moments, like when I'm at a job interview, I find it hard to articulate, hold my arms up, and hold my head, but I do. It just takes a lot of effort, and I feel like I'm saying my words funny but when I ask people if they notice, they say they don't. I also notice this is more apt to happen even with family when I'm really tired.

In all cases, I do not black out, but I feel like I'm going to. I feel like I'm going to faint, but I don't. Usually afterward, I get very light headed for a couple hours, and sometimes I get a headache. I'm also very tired after as well because it takes so much energy to try to control myself.

I do think it's anxiety related, and the reason I think it's PTSD related is because my traumatic moment was a rape while in the military with a chain of command ready to kick out all the females over anything. I felt like if I defended myself, I'd get an Article 15 easily. I did not want that. I could not go into fight mode for that reason (though if I did, my rapist wouldn't be physically capable of raping again that's for sure). Definitely, I was NOT afraid of my rapist as much as the military, and he outranked me, so that made it more difficult. I couldn't go into flight mode for that reason as running off into the night by yourself to go 10 miles through town probably would attract the attention of someone that would unintentionally destroy my career. So, my brain went into that third theoretical mode... submissive mode. I believe it true. I believe the brain does that so being eaten alive by dinosaurs don't hurt as much (metaphorically to the survival instinct of our adrenaline). I think I go back to it like a flash back when the anxiety is high. I just don't have the fighting adrenaline rush I used to get at those moments anymore. I used to be the type as I got excited my voice got louder and I'd jump and down, or get really antsy telling a joke... now, I go limp (I'm a woman btw). Also, I do get anxiety issues in social environments really easy, and I've always been that way. So that's not necessarily a PTSD issue. The issue of my concern is going limp on people. It's embarrassing, and it's kinda hard to get a job when you do that at job interviews, and if you tell them why, they'll just assume you can't do the job.

 

[La La Lu]

i should also add, I never get tickled at job interviews. I meant that with the mildest version of it. Haha.

 

[karissa]

Did you see a neurologist? Not trying to diagnose but seems like you are having some seizure activity relating to a seizure disorder.

 

[Shane Snap Oates]

Okay, first off, do I think it could be PTSD related, possibly, but that in and of itself sounds more like a TBI issue than PTSD, and you hit your head after the fact, so that couldn't be the case. I will look into it myself and see if I can come up with anything, but here is my question to you. I know you feel you need to work, you most likely have obligations to attend too, but you may want to go to the VA and try to get financial help. I seriously do not think you should be working, and you are very, VERY susceptible to any form of violations once the right, or should we say wrong, person knows what happens to you. You are opening yourself up to a whole world of trouble by not thinking about this. Give that some though while you are looking for answers though. But like I said, I will look into it myself.

 

[Shane Snap Oates]

Here's one for you, not sure if this is what you have, but this sounds so close to what you are saying that it is hard for me to think otherwise. I do not believe it is PTSD, but Cataplexy, which is a type of Narcolepsy brought on be anger, worry, fear, luaghter....You can look it up and read about it, and go from there. It is not something to be toyed with in either case, so please get this checked out asap.

 

[arianna]

I was also going to suggest TBI and/or a seizure based issue. There are anxiety related seizures, I will ask my clinical director for a name if I can. I strongly suggest you be speaking to a nuerologist and pyschiatrist as well. Also, I have worked with many people that have physical symptoms rom their PTSD. Sexual assault is the most common one I (stressing the 'I') have seen to cause physical symptoms. Things such as hands going numb, legs not supporting a person, etc. I have not heard of one so severe as yours and Cataplexy may be a much more accurate diagnosis (for the doctor not me). I do know that the physical manifestations from PTSD triggers is caused due to traumatic events not being treated, or completely treated. Our bodies will cause us to feel physical symptoms triggered by extereme stress or what the body may interpret as dangerous situations in order to get our attention. I could see what you are discribing (though again not personally seen a case so severe) if your PTSD is not being adequately treated or you are spending a significant amount of emotional and mental energy trying to supress it.

In all cases, the most important things are the following
1. You are not crazy!!!!!!
2. You should be talking to a psychiatrist not a general practitioner about your PTSD symptoms (for the exact reason that a GP will look at you like your crazy and obviously that doesn't help you feel any better)
3. You need to see a nuerologist asap to have this looked at.

Good luck. Please take care of yourself. I won't get into any comments on what caused your trauma other than to say how sorry I am that you had to endure that. If ever you are interested...there is a group that works with many forms of PTSD strictly in emergency personnel to include military sexual assaults and it is seperate from any military or government program.

Remember YOU MATTER YOU COUNT!

 

[becvan]

I agree that you might want to get tested for seizures. I have seizures and what you are describing sounds like partial complex seizures. Anxiety or stress can trigger seizures and there is a form of seizures that is purely psychological. Please make an appointment with your doctor and get a referal to a neurologist. You probably need an EEG to rule this out.

bec

 

[La La Lu]

My issue with seeing anyone about it just yet is that I have no health insurance, and I am having issues navigating through VA Healthcare. I've applied for it, got approved, but you can't make the first appointment at the clinic until you've had a first appointment, at least that's what they told me and I can't seem to get around that even though I know it's bull. At this point, I can't afford the co-pays unless I can find a job.

I did just google through seizures and it does sound like atonic seizures except that I haven't had it since childhood. So then I googled cataplexy, and that definitely sounds like it. I do sleep a lot too, like I've been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in the military, and ever since I had a relapse of mono, I do sleep a lot. When the stress is bad, the sleepiness is bad like sometimes I feel like someone slipped me some Demerol. But I also have those weird dreams sometimes when I'm falling asleep where I can't tell if I dreamed something or if it was real, and at the time, I'm frozen in bed and cannot move like temporary paralysis. So narcolepsy is also definitely a possibility that I probably do need to look into, but I'm not sure how to go about that without health insurance. I may see if my PTSD can hook me up with a medical card until some genius would be smart enough to hire me and hook me up with some benefits. The important thing is that word cataplexy accurately describes what I go through, and there are treatment options if that's the case. I'm so against taking antidepressants, but I would give it a shot if I thought that would help me at this point.

I do get PTSD disability through the VA, but let me tell you, that does NOT pay the bills. Even though I qualify by definition for a much higher percentage, the VA is not interested in giving it to me. Part of my problem is I don't seek treatment because I don't have health insurance, and if I did, I have kids, so I don't have time to see someone regularly for myself. I can barely keep up with their health care issues. Then also, the shrinks I did see for it kept making me re-live it, and I think that's made me worse. I really don't want to have to tell another person any details. I did that enough when I prosecuted the guy and saw shrinks back after it happened. To the VA, the only way to prove a condition is chronic is to chronically receive health care services for the condition. Even then, they are so behind that I wonder if they are even looking at the paperwork anymore to process them or if the paperwork declared mutiny and is holding all the employees hostage in the break room. I'm just happy I got some connection and money comes in like clockwork to help pay some bills. If there's ever a problem with that, I'm in trouble though because the VA is not the place to resolve any issues.

I do want to work. I can't stand not working. I am good at working. I just have a hard time finding a job at this point because the economy sucks, and I am a mom and nobody likes moms except on Mother's Day, and I don't have a college degree because I hate college and battle finishing that up. I also think my veteran status has been a bad thing instead of the good thing I thought it would be. Sometimes I think I should omit my military experience, but I have too much pride for my uniform to do that. I know to be VERY careful about mentioning PTSD and Asperger's, like I don't plan on ever mentioning it beyond crazy aliases on random forums online.

 

[La La Lu]

I do want to thank all you who responded. It does make me feel so much better to have an idea at this point as to what is going on, and I think cataplexy is it.

 

[ronin47]

Yeesh. I hear you with the health insurance thing. I had to stop taking medications and seeing a counselor for several months because September rolled around and I was neither a full time student or a full time employee so I couldn't be on my parents policy anymore. It's a pain :O_o:

 

[anthony]

I have a strange symptom that I'm almost positive is PTSD related, but I could be wrong.

Its not PTSD related.... hence why you haven't found it elsewhere. People should not try and fit other symptoms into PTSD, that is not how it works.

PTSD can cause other things, being stress related, but they are not symptoms of PTSD, they are there own unique origin. Having a heart attack at 40 due to stress, is not a symptom of PTSD, it is a heart attack. The heart attack may well be directly related to the stress PTSD is creating on the body, but that does not make the heart attack a symptom of PTSD.

 

[Cthulhu]

I would think it is narcolepsy, too. I have an acquaintance who experiences almost the same, she has it. It is treatable, for example Methylphenidate helps against it and it isn't THAT expensive if one has to buy it by themselve because of no health insurance. But surely you must get it prescribed by a doctor.