S
Sheila123
20 years ago I was attacked while on a date. He was punching me, choking me, and he did things to me that I did not want. Afterwards I blamed myself, I was wearing an outfit from a friend that I felt was too revealing but she insisted was super cute. I felt my clothing had given him the wrong impression, that I had invited sex. I felt a deep sense of shame and guilt, and I wouldn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want them to know of my shame. It took many years and a dark depression before I sought treatment. After years of therapy I thought all would be okay.
Not too long ago I had a panic attack and someone tried to help me. I had a flashback, and the person trying to help me got blamed. Now I’m back to those shameful feelings, the events of 20 years ago keep running through my head like a horror movie, I’m having a very hard time sleeping and wake up in a panic and soaked in sweat, and I often find I can’t breathe. I have reached out to a therapist again to help me work through those feelings, but I’m worried about how to tell her how bad I messed up. I feel like it’s my fault people don’t want to be around those who have experienced trauma, look what happens when a good samaritan chimed in? Now I just want to isolate myself from the world. It’s safer for me and it’s safer for those around me. I’m hoping as I speak with the therapist she can help me understand why I relapsed after so long, how I can stop this nightmare, and how to prevent future episodes. Wondering if anyone here has any ideas.
Not too long ago I had a panic attack and someone tried to help me. I had a flashback, and the person trying to help me got blamed. Now I’m back to those shameful feelings, the events of 20 years ago keep running through my head like a horror movie, I’m having a very hard time sleeping and wake up in a panic and soaked in sweat, and I often find I can’t breathe. I have reached out to a therapist again to help me work through those feelings, but I’m worried about how to tell her how bad I messed up. I feel like it’s my fault people don’t want to be around those who have experienced trauma, look what happens when a good samaritan chimed in? Now I just want to isolate myself from the world. It’s safer for me and it’s safer for those around me. I’m hoping as I speak with the therapist she can help me understand why I relapsed after so long, how I can stop this nightmare, and how to prevent future episodes. Wondering if anyone here has any ideas.
