General Isolation, Coping Mechanism Or Bad Habit?

[Badger]

A lot of people here seem to feel like isolating is a natural coping mechanism of PTSD, and some go so far as to assert it as a sort of necessary part of having PTSD. (not in those exact words but its a sentiment repeatedly expressed in different ways)

When I looked on the United States National Institute of Health, isolation was listed as a negative coping strategy, along with illegal drugs etc. I see a fair amount of what looks like enabling of isolating behaviours by supporters and sufferers alike on his site and would respectfully like to inquire, why is that?

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

As an ex-supporter, I was always advised to give him space and just wait. To remind him I'm hear, but don't fight it. He's been isolating for over 5 months now. I would have fought it if I knew how and I didn't feel it would make him worse. I still love him, but don't know what to do. We live in different towns.

 

[Loner]

Both? We isolate and do other things to cope, but that doesnt mean they are best for us overall, it just means that we need to do those things sometimes. It would have been best for me if I had pushed myself to stop isolating much sooner but I was unable due to being too stressed out by social interaction.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

For me I reach a crisis point -seriously like needing hospitalisation and when I isolate it stops immediately.I know isolation isn't healthy but sometimes I need it. For me if I don't isolate, I would become so self-destructive and suicidal that I would likely be dead in the week - taking some time out seems pretty easy and simple compared to that. Then again I usually only isolate like that for a few days to a week. Also when I've calmed a little, I'd be more than happy to answer a few texts or something like that to let someone know I was ok and to give them some rough time estimate on how long I'll need to isolate for. I feel guilty and ashamed needing that time and someone pushing me to end it before I was ready could throw me over the edge, I would return to the world of the living - but I would be back in that bad place without having distanced myself and recovered from the feeling of suicide and self-harm, bad things would be likely to happen. But I suppose everyone is different.It is a need though, not a want or a deliberately unhealthy behaviour - I wish I didn't need it.

 

[WillyKat]

I think everybody, whether they have PTSD or not, needs some solitude. I don't see it as a negative at all. I for one enjoy going into the wilderness alone; it's the one place I know I won't experience any triggers.

I think it's a question of degree. I know someone that I think has PTSD or some dissociative disorder that isolates herself to an extreme and its unhealthy.

 

[The Albatross]

Bad habit as it is protectionist yet does not embrace the world and my own place in it as it is. If that makes sense. My inclination is to isolate, yet my social responsibility and needs are not met unless I break out of the cycle. Humans are social beings.

 

[DMerish]

"Isolation: Coping Mechanism Or Bad Habit?"


I think it can be both, and more.

PTSD affects the nervous system. Symptoms include nightmares and trouble sleeping, which also affects the nervous system adversely. As a consequence, people with active symptoms of PTSD tend towards needing to find ways to relax and rest. Oftentimes that means limiting one's self or not involving one's self in outside activities; thereby, giving one more of an opportunity to relax/rest. So, in this sense it is a coping mechanism. A necessary one IMO.

Also, certain situations can cause PTSD sufferer additional stress and to react in ways that folks without PTSD might find odd. Having that happen can cause discomfort for the PTSD sufferer as well as non-sufferer that doesn’t understand the reactions. Thus, a coping mechanism again.

Then there's life - handling PTSD symptoms sometimes takes a lot of work and a lot of time. Nevertheless, life goes on around us and inside us. Needing to accomplish task may take us longer. And sometimes we'll fall ill with a cold or the flu, etc. or have an accident and break a bone. When these things happen more time is needed to deal with our PTSD symptoms and any physical ailment/illness that's going on. Isolation under these circumstances is not because of a bad habit, no! It’s a coping mechanism simply because life can be overwhelming at times, and there’s only so much time in a day, a week, a month etc.

The only time I think isolation could possibly be a "bad habit" is when someone is purposefully looking for ways to isolate, not give any attention to personal care, to their immediate family, to their "responsibilities" (i.e. paying bills, fixing a meal sometimes, cleaning the toilet, going to the doctor or therapist, etc.) AND spends their time doing activities like watching TV, playing video games, or surfing the internet all day instead.

Sorry for stepping up on the soap box - it sort of bugs me when information is gleaned from sources and a term like “negative” is used broadly make judgment on something that needs context for a judgment to be accurate at all. I doubt whether anyone from the NIH that contributed to the article you read has had PTSD themselves.

I’m not criticizing you, Badger, for asking the question or anyone else that's answered. The question is a good one that obviously made people think and reply. I just think one shouldn't swallow the NIH’s answer whole.

:coffee: Drew

 

[Badger]

Kas- I am curious as to why someone asking you to come out of isolation sooner would trigger a response to run deeper into isolation?
Is there fear associated with this? Like fear of being stalked or physically persued? I could see where if someone was physically showing up, or you were afraid they would....but wouldnt something like texting a few times a day be just optional not to respond to?

 

[Badger]

Hi Drew- I brought it up because of the incongruity between what the NIH says and what is said here. I found it interesting and strange that such differing opinions exist and thats the reason for the dialogue. More understanding needs to happen about this. It is the thing I find the hardest to wrap my head around as a supporter and I see that here with other supporters as well. People I like equal comfort and safety to me and I struggle to understand this other way of thinking.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Because I feel I should be out there anyway, I feel guilty that I can't be - but I can if I try, only at my own risk. Not that anyone else would know that. I would go out for anyone who I cared enough for, but I would die for them too and the two are interrelated - I honestly believe that if I went out the chances of everything becoming too much and me killing myself would be fairly likely, but I would do that sooner than I would confess to my weakness and need to stay locked away in my room. They wouldn't know the suffering I would go through to do what they wanted and I would never tell them, but I would bear the pain I know I can't. I fear my own shame and I can pretend it's not there when it's just me, but I can see it reflected back at me in others and I can't bear it. In my case I live with 4 other people.

I am ok messaging anyone who doesn't know I'm isolating be that here or a text from my friend who lives 200 miles away - you might say something's not right with that either - that my only friend lives that far away. I did build up a lot of strength to message my mum (in the house with me) and let her know that I needed it and would be back soon. But I can also know that before I built up that strength, I would have found it very uncomfortable and awkward to message back and certainly would never have initiated anything like this - I also like that it was left to me to do, which although it made me feel awkward, made me feel like I had the space I needed, it was a relief. But I don't think I would have minded if someone just wanted to check on me to make sure I was ok - but I would have felt intensely guilty and ashamed.

incongruity between what the NIH says and what is said here

I personally think that it is due to the overlap with depression. Isolating is also very likely to occur with depression and because PTSD sufferers often have depression or depressive stints, there is that overlap. But I personally believe that isolating with depression is different - there is a lot more dwelling in bad thoughts and cyclic, negative thought processes that make depression worse and in those circumstances, forcing yourself out of it helps, forcing social life aspects and physical activity make things better slowly but surely. That can happen to a PTSD sufferer just the same as depression, but our isolation is different - I just think most people who aren't sufferers see it that way - they only see the depressive type of isolation. Rather than a need to find your feet and with it maybe a small sense of safety, ground and recover. Of course the confusing part is when we have both types of isolation at the same time - we need to be alone to be ok, but we need to engage socially to heal - then it's just a messed up ball of trying to do the right thing at the right time - take just enough time out to be on the edge of being ok and then push on with "normal" life.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think this is a case of you being on the outside and therefor unable to fully comprehend the necessity of periodic isolation or time outs. Maybe just take it on faith that this is so as it's impossible to fully understand certain things unless you've experienced them yourself (as a sufferer).

Disclaimer: I am a sufferer myself.

 

[Badger]

Kas- how can you see your shame reflected back in others? I am a sexual abuse victim, but I do not have PTSD. I don't remember going through that. I felt wierd with people I knew the next few times I saw them after disclosing that stuff, but I mostly felt wierd and creeped out about their pity, I dont remember feeling shame as such, privately, maybe. Is shame an integral part of PTSD? Can you have PTSD without shame?