Sexual Assault It’s hard being a survivor

[Hopemeanslife]

Of COURSE it’s your business.

This? Being the INTERNET?!? Is NOT a safe space. It’s just not. It’s the internet.

THIS? Is a place for PTSD & Trauma. THIS is a space where those affected can discuss trauma and its consequences.

A great deal of people who’ve experienced trauma, or have PTSD, go on to treat others badly (which needs to stop, but also happens -usually long term, many many many people over years and decades, often the people we love most & are closest to- until people learn to stop lashing out at convenient targets, or blaming others for our own shit, or both), or -especially children- have acted out their own abuse on others. That’s PART of trauma. Not a pretty victim wrapped up in unicorns, but real people, trying to parse their lives & be better.

As well as? Trolls, Predators, & other Assholes looking for victims/targets. As STAFF we can nix/ban those we find. And alert members. But? It’s still the internet. Not a safe space, by definition. Which we DO try to remind people >>> Members Take Note - Everyone Is Not Who You May Think

Also? If you haven’t read it, yet? >>> Community Constitution

And what about the ones posting stories saying they have committed crimes on other people? Is that allowed? Because I have come across quite a few of them posts barely been on this site for a week.

How can perpetrator's and survivors be under the same thread discussing issues under section such as SA. Ultimately they aren’t on the same team to relate and support one another.

And what about the people posting things saying what isn’t csa when to another survivor they could have experienced something similar and then they aren’t being supported here and basically saying what is clearly marked as an illegal act they are saying it’s not I have read the community constitution and I don’t see how a lot of members are following the rules

Of COURSE it’s your business.

This? Being the INTERNET?!? Is NOT a safe space. It’s just not. It’s the internet.

THIS? Is a place for PTSD & Trauma. THIS is a space where those affected can discuss trauma and its consequences.

A great deal of people who’ve experienced trauma, or have PTSD, go on to treat others badly (which needs to stop, but also happens -usually long term, many many many people over years and decades, often the people we love most & are closest to- until people learn to stop lashing out at convenient targets, or blaming others for our own shit, or both), or -especially children- have acted out their own abuse on others. That’s PART of trauma. Not a pretty victim wrapped up in unicorns, but real people, trying to parse their lives & be better.

As well as? Trolls, Predators, & other Assholes looking for victims/targets. As STAFF we can nix/ban those we find. And alert members. But? It’s still the internet. Not a safe space, by definition. Which we DO try to remind people >>> Members Take Note - Everyone Is Not Who You May Think

Also? If you haven’t read it, yet? >>> Community Constitution


A normal life is only what we IMAGINE other people have.

Are you blind/deaf/paralysed?
Have you been raped/ gang raped / sold into sexual slavery / sold into slavery?
Do you have a terminal illness?
Are you fighting for your life in a combat zone?
Are you a mountain climber?
A professional athlete?
An actor, or politician, carny, freedom fighter?
Etc.
Etc.
Etc.
Et CETERA.

Noooooo one is “normal”, living a “normal” life. “Normal”? Is what OTHER PEOPLE looking at YOU, think YOU have. Because either you don’t live their life, or do, but hide it.

that has zero relevance to my post. I don’t believe that was a question I have asked, I was stating facts on how I feel in the present moment when I posted

 

[Friday]

I don’t see how a lot of members are following the rules

If you think someone is breaking site rules click/select “report”. Which is at the bottom of EVERY post.

Staff DO read everything, but that also takes time, and can be missed. Member reports shorten that timeframe, as well as allow for dialogue between staff & members.

 

[Mary. OoH]

I’m a sexual abuse/assault survivor
I’m currently undergoing treatment for ptsd for it, they seem to think I may have it.

I can’t help to notice an awful amount of posts of confessions on this page for crimes they have committed, think that’s a bit beyond being a safe place for no judgment but that’s none of my business, I’m not really surprised really, I mean I have this awful intrusive thought most days that there is more abusers than everyone really knows, they think I’m paranoid, I’ve shared it with my counsellor; I guess it’s my idea from my experiences.

Really I don’t know how I can move forward in life living with all the things that has happened and how people decided to treat me I don’t think I can move past it and live a normal life after all, think it’s just hanging on to hope when I feel it possible, I think I may feel like this for the rest of my life and there’s nothing I can do, I try and get help but even then I’m like what is it helping; it’s just nothing seems to help it, about 15 years ago I thought to myself surely this isn’t gonna be me for the rest of my life I’m sure it’ll get better, it has to get better. No one ever really told me it would get better so I guess it never does. You know like with an accident people say you’ll be okay you just need.. but this type of thing they ask how I am knowing I will say nothing it’s all quite strange. This has been going on for far too long, it’s so draining for the last 17years.

Hi

Thanks for saying that. I feel that. And even in a second of a smart response or time deficit.. I am new here. I cannot be on a device prolonged periods, I overcame 3 months of horrendous news.. let's New.

I am New. And I say I .. me... I am flawed narky and not a VIP. I am made from a knowing the years I would have saved if a person relayed a truth...

It's never easy, no day is easy,. What's easy it's giving the time back to I amd self. And to be cautious and researched on new approaches. If revive and recover is the goal.

I wanna live, I am going to figure it out. For now. I Swallow my squared space for small circle.....

I wanna share a space to say I won't delay , I will share a piece of me. I rarely leave my space. I wish that on no being... no creature. Yet I find a means to believe I will again and I never give up...

Be as it feels till it feels a awkward and new as a life altering experience creates. A larger wave or ripple that one person can surf or care to share on how we do. Only that it can be done.

M.OOH

 

[Charbella]

Other than COCSA and those who blame themselves I’ve literally never read a post on this website that references pride in raping someone. Are you sure it was this site? Personally I avoid COCSA because it triggers me, so as soon as I see that post I click ignore post at the top of the page and they never come up in my feed again. You do have to do it once per thread but I like the site enough to use what I like and leave the rest.

CSA is hard. I find just when I’m done with one layer I find there is more. I am almost incapable of discussing it so therapy for me EMDR works the best. I’ve found some success it feeling better but if your looking for it to be quick…good luck.

 

[Mary. OoH]

If you think someone is breaking site rules click/select “report”. Which is at the bottom of EVERY post.

Staff DO read everything, but that also takes time, and can be missed. Member reports shorten that timeframe, as well as allow for dialogue between staff & members.

Found less than many have any rule. Only a platform to claim a territory.

 

[Movingforward10]

And what about the people posting things saying what isn’t csa when to another survivor they could have experienced something similar and then they aren’t being supported here and basically saying what is clearly marked as an illegal act they are saying it’s not I have read the community constitution and I don’t see how a lot of members are following the rules

I've disagreed with comments on here a out what does and doesn't consistute abuse. And sometimes click the ignore button.
It really helps me to remember: everyone on here is from different parts of the world with different cultural influences and different laws, so there will be difference of opinion about what things mean. We don't need to agree. And I can click ignore if it upsets me and doesn't help me.
One ethos from this site is "take what works and leave the rest". That is the single most helpful advice of the rules here, because when I'm heightened about something I don't want that to impact all the good that I take from being here.
Ultimately it's up to you to decide if being on this site feels safe for you. And how you want to interact with threads that you find go against your views/sense of justice/safety etc.
For me, the downsides of this site don't outweigh the great. I've learnt a lot from others on here (ones I haven't put on ignore). It's aided my healing for sure.

 

[Hopemeanslife]

Of COURSE it’s your business.

This? Being the INTERNET?!? Is NOT a safe space. It’s just not. It’s the internet.

THIS? Is a place for PTSD & Trauma. THIS is a space where those affected can discuss trauma and its consequences.

A great deal of people who’ve experienced trauma, or have PTSD, go on to treat others badly (which needs to stop, but also happens -usually long term, many many many people over years and decades, often the people we love most & are closest to- until people learn to stop lashing out at convenient targets, or blaming others for our own shit, or both), or -especially children- have acted out their own abuse on others. That’s PART of trauma. Not a pretty victim wrapped up in unicorns, but real people, trying to parse their lives & be better.

As well as? Trolls, Predators, & other Assholes looking for victims/targets. As STAFF we can nix/ban those we find. And alert members. But? It’s still the internet. Not a safe space, by definition. Which we DO try to remind people >>> Members Take Note - Everyone Is Not Who You May Think

Also? If you haven’t read it, yet? >>> Community Constitution

And what about the ones posting stories saying they have committed crimes on other people? Is that allowed? Because I have come across quite a few of them posts barely been on this site for a week.

How can perpetrator's and survivors be under the same thread discussing issues under section such as SA. Ultimately they aren’t on the same team to relate and support one another.

And what about the people posting things saying what isn’t csa when to another survivor they could have experienced something similar and then they aren’t being supported here and basically saying what is clearly marked as an illegal act they are saying it’s not I have read the community constitution and I don’t see how a lot of members are following the rules

Of COURSE it’s your business.

This? Being the INTERNET?!? Is NOT a safe space. It’s just not. It’s the internet.

THIS? Is a place for PTSD & Trauma. THIS is a space where those affected can discuss trauma and its consequences.

A great deal of people who’ve experienced trauma, or have PTSD, go on to treat others badly (which needs to stop, but also happens -usually long term, many many many people over years and decades, often the people we love most & are closest to- until people learn to stop lashing out at convenient targets, or blaming others for our own shit, or both), or -especially children- have acted out their own abuse on others. That’s PART of trauma. Not a pretty victim wrapped up in unicorns, but real people, trying to parse their lives & be better.

As well as? Trolls, Predators, & other Assholes looking for victims/targets. As STAFF we can nix/ban those we find. And alert members. But? It’s still the internet. Not a safe space, by definition. Which we DO try to remind people >>> Members Take Note - Everyone Is Not Who You May Think

Also? If you haven’t read it, yet? >>> Community Constitution


A normal life is only what we IMAGINE other people have.

Are you blind/deaf/paralysed?
Have you been raped/ gang raped / sold into sexual slavery / sold into slavery?
Do you have a terminal illness?
Are you fighting for your life in a combat zone?
Are you a mountain climber?
A professional athlete?
An actor, or politician, carny, freedom fighter?
Etc.
Etc.
Etc.
Et CETERA.

Noooooo one is “normal”, living a “normal” life. “Normal”? Is what OTHER PEOPLE looking at YOU, think YOU have. Because either you don’t live their life, or do, but hide it.

that has zero relevance to my post. I don’t believe that was a question I have asked, I was stating facts on how I feel in the present moment when I posted

Other than COCSA and those who blame themselves I’ve literally never read a post on this website that references pride in raping someone. Are you sure it was this site? Personally I avoid COCSA because it triggers me, so as soon as I see that post I click ignore post at the top of the page and they never come up in my feed again. You do have to do it once per thread but I like the site enough to use what I like and leave the rest.

CSA is hard. I find just when I’m done with one layer I find there is more. I am almost incapable of discussing it so therapy for me EMDR works the best. I’ve found some success it feeling better but if your looking for it to be quick…good luck.

i never said i read that people was pride each other for raping. All I said was I have read some posts where people are opening up talking about them committing crimes on others when they was children. To the point some people have replied in the comments in a supportive way and others have replied saying it’s not abuse because they are both children. As far as what I can see is. It’s committing criminal acts so yes I’m sure it was this site

 

[Sideways]

Mod Note:
@Hopemeanslife - temp banned for 3 days for ignoring staff instructions.

Take some time to cool off, and re-read the correspondence between yourself and staff members.

All members: if you think someone has broken forum rules, hit Report, or Use or use Contact.

If they haven’t broken forum rules, take what’s helpful, leave the rest.

 

[anthony]

@Hopemeanslife you need to stop arguing, being angry and combative, and instead recognise and understand that you are on the Internet. You won't agree with everything on the internet. So... you can do one of two things, what you're doing, which isn't going well for you at this point OR you can take what works, talk with who you find similar interest and issues, and leave the rest. That is the Internet, the whole thing. You are making the choices for you, nobody else.

 

[Friday]

Found less than many have any rule. Only a platform to claim a territory.

Our site rules are found here >>> Community Constitution

 

[Mary. OoH]

Our site rules are found here >>> Community Constitution

Rule is life beyond ruin. Live less ruining, coss my lambs been slaughtered, yet the innocence is a pride. Not for me for what no other will feel me, and sense my urge to shock less, pre- trauma, health buck, a f*ck you. Vipers bite less, ptsd sliver plated is a you can not imagine you wishfiled trajan, Helen of troy finds easier ease ... when you suffer, never ever would it want more. Painless VIO _VIP

 

[parrotthepolly]

Rule is life beyond ruin. Live less ruining, coss my lambs been slaughtered, yet the innocence is a pride. Not for me for what no other will feel me, and sense my urge to shock less, pre- trauma, health buck, a f*ck you. Vipers bite less, ptsd sliver plated is a you can not imagine you wishfiled trajan, Helen of troy finds easier ease ... when you suffer, never ever would it want more. Painless VIO _VIP

If you need to vent, create a trauma diary lol.