I guess what I am struggling with in relation to good things is this...........
If you weigh up the 'good event' and then the 'fallout' it seems easier just not to do anything outside of the norm and keep life as stable as possible to minimize the roller-coaster ride for all concerned. But the easiest option isn't always the best hence my frustration.
From a Sufferer's point of view their pain and struggle is surely that much greater of a Supporter however, if a Supporter has never endured any such illness, the pain and struggle of watching a loved one struggle can have as large an impact on them as what someone who has been abused all their life does when they get dealt the diagnosis of PTSD.
What I am trying to say is to each their pain is the greatest if they have not suffered worse. Someone who has lead a perfect life and then say gets a third degree burn could imagine that as the worst pain possible yet to someone with PTSD that is little suffering compared to them. My mum used to say that " there was always some worse off than me" and while that may be true, my pain is my pain so it hurts me the most. And like most, sometimes a hug or support can go a long way - just like a Supporter cannot fix a Sufferer but can comfort them.
I just find it does impact on us and can't accept that it is not our concern. To me that would be on par with your partner being diagnosed with cancer and us telling them it's their illness to deal with. For heavens sake, a relationship involves two or more people's lives........not just the one who is ill.
