It's Hard To Have Friends My Own Age

[Jade-]

I was just sitting here thinking about the friends I have. Only one of them is my age (45).

Most of my friends are either way younger or older. Some of them are only 20-25 years old. I seem to relate better to young people and feel more comfortable around them. They just want to have fun and talk about superficial things. I find it easy to talk about the things they're talking about or are into.

I feel like I don't fit in with the ones that are my age, I feel like I don't look or act like they do and have nothing in common with them. When i'm around them, I feel like they're going to see that I'm not normal for my age, that there's something different about me and that I'm just not on the same level as them. So it's easier to avoid them altogether.

I want to have friendships with people my own age, but I don't really know how to. Does anyone else feel like this, or am I just a werido?

 

[kris]

My therapist says this is because your mind is stuck at a younger age, usually around the age you were when your trauma happened. Your mind relates to that age, and is mentally still at that age because your mind couldn't process that trauma and move on therefore you relate to younger people closer to the age you were during your trauma.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Jadebear,

It is wonderful to have friends all ages. Real friends accept you for who you are and where you are at, without judging you. Enjoy them.

Intothelight

 

[AdamAnt]

I've heard of that theory kris, I think I read it in a book called "Dianetics" written by the same fella that founded Scientology?

 

[James B.]

Being single and without kids, there was a period in my 40's where I definitely related better to younger folks and had lots of friends in their 20's.

It seemed that when my peers got married, it changed them, then had kids, it changed them more. I didn't have anything in common with 'em, I was still spending a lot of time reading french and american lit, human hsitory etc. and going skiing and having fun - and none of my married with childern peers could relate.

Sometimes they seemed stuck, sometimes it seemed they acted like they "knew everything".

Then that faze ended, I became a devout weirdo and basically just hate everyone - with no bias whatsoever - age, race, gender - freaking just hate 'em all, "equal opportinity misanthropy" - kidding!!

OMG - the truth is, now my friends are way closer to my age, some a bit older, some a bit younger. Fact is I love people, and I love talking to interesting folks from all over the world, and people who have way interesting careers or interests, etc. Especially if they are non-mainstream, alt-lifestyle, or into cool creative stuff.

:-)