Relationship It's Over, A Big Thank You X

[Newtoptsd]

Yes I completely agree, I'm going back home to my mums for Christmas for a week and I think being there will ensure the no contact. I sent him his all time favourite link to a video today (I caved) and his response was great.

He'd been in therapy all day and said that watching that was just what he needed. He also asked how I was and we've exchanged a few funny pics etc. Now I will leave him as I don't want him to think I'm getting attached or clingy. He needs to concentrate on therapy and with Christmas in a few days I need to re focus for myself and for him.

Gosh yes thats actually one thing I do feel confident about, I have such amazing friends and family and they are so supportive of me and they're the ones I reach out to not my sufferer. When I have had a shitty day I don't bring it up with him, my poor mum gets the brunt of it bless her.

I've never been in a serious relationship so I am very independent in that sense. Have my own life, friends, career which is all going great!

Your posts have been really helping me I just need to keep telling myself to live life and let him be, reach out here and there and just see what's what and be there as a friend!

I'm really sorry to hear you've got a lot of stuff going on right now, I hope everything is ok!! It's good that you're taking a break this time so you can sort your own issues out and therefore not being co dependent on your sufferer for support. I did that once and asked for a few days out for me to get my head straight and it did us both good!

 

[Buttercup]

It sounds like your text was a good thing. I hope you're doing well with your family this holiday weekend!

Thanks for your well wishes. Things for me and my family are actually much better over the past week or so.

I am now missing him and wanting to reach out to him now! But I won't. It would be nice to wish him a merry Christmas, though.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

 

[Newtoptsd]

@tlc having a lovely time with my family this week!

We've been reaching out a bit and i txt him to ask if it was ok to ring later on Christmas Day and he said yes, had a nice chat and he still messages me night with endearing terms. Not looking too much into this though - I've done that before.

We shall see, I hope you had a lovely Christmas and I'm glad to hear things are better for you :)

Reach out when you feel fully ready!!

 

[ldj]

@Newtoptsd and @WhyAnon I wanted to share this thread with you - [URL...

Thanks so much for sharing this old thread @tlc - was such an interesting read for me, lots to relate to, especially franciemarnie's story about caring so much that you lose your own identity - really resonates! And Abstract's words of advice gave lots of food for thought. The more I read on here the more enlightened and self-aware I am becoming. Thank the lord for this forum!!!! :happy:
Glad to hear that you've had a better week with your family - know what you mean about wanting to wish him Merry Christmas though.
@Newtoptsd - must be so confusing to get contact and affection, but have to tell yourself not to get your hopes up that things are back on. In some ways, I envy you having that contact, being able to reach out and support from afar, feeling like you're still wanted and needed. But actually, that must be so hard and is probably worse than my situation. At least mine has been very black and white about it - zero contact, it's definitely over. Mind you, is it still early days.
Take care both xx

 

[Deleted member 38137]

After a wonderful yet bumpy four months it's over .... my heart hurts but it was a fairly amicable co...

Awww...I'm so sorry. I know you really loved the guy. But there is hope for the both of you. Maybe this will give him the ability to work on himself and hopefully he gets his head on straight and be able to be in a relationship with you. If he doesn't, you can meet someone else that doesn't present as much of a problem. As crazy as that sounds right now, it's true. (I know, when I break up with someone, I"m always thinking that they were the best EVER and tend to focus on all the little great things about them and not what actually caused the breakup...lol) I think that what he did was probably the best for both of you. And I'm pretty sure it doesn't feel like it right now. I know you're heartbroken. :(

 

[Buttercup]

Thanks so much for sharing this old thread @tlc - was such an interesting read for me, l...

@ldj I'm glad you liked that thread. Yes, many thanks to this forum! :)

What's your situation now? how long has there been no contact and what precipitated it? If you want to share, that is! :hug:

 

[ldj]

Ah thanks for your interest, yes happy to share. But rather than repeat myself here and make this thread all about me, here's a link to my initial introduction which fills you in on what brought me here
Supporter - "the Trauma Of War Doesn't End When The Guns Stop Firing"
And for more current updates, I've got a thread in the Supporters Diaries section called Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and also one in Supporters Relationships called Nowhere for my love to go but here. That's where I'm venting all my emotions at present!! :D xx

 

[Buttercup]

hahaha! I'll check them out.

 

[Buttercup]

@Newtoptsd how are you? Sounds like things are kind of ok with your guy? Communicating at least. Any news?

 

[ldj]

Oh, and I meant Eggshells, not Meatballs!!! :laugh:

 

[Buttercup]

Oh, and I meant Eggshells, not Meatballs!!! :laugh:

I figured that out when I looked for your post. Haha! Eggshells is much more clever. :)

 

[Newtoptsd]

@Newtoptsd how are you? Sounds like things are kind of ok with your guy? Communicating a...

@tlc hey there, how are you? Did you have a good Christmas break?

Things are good, we are communicating still, he rang yesterday which was a nice surprise! I'm still away for the holidays until the 1st and he has asked when I'm back - not getting my hopes up but it was a good sign!!

I'm trying not to think too much at the moment, been busy so it's all been fine but no doubt when I'm back my mind will start running away with itself haha.

How are things with you? Any news?

Sending Christmas cheer and I hope you have a great new year!!

@ldj hahahahhaa that gave me a giggle!!!