Hi
I'm not going to go in depth detail here : I Served in the Police - worked in accident investigation / forensics department, crime scene photography, fingerprints and forensic ballistics as well as policing in remote areas (desert / remote bushland)
I thought over my career I was coping well with all the things I had done and seen over a 14 year period, but it was a fatal car accident (one of many I attended) remotely in bushland that I have come to call the straw that broke the camels back. I watched as this young girl died of significant head injuries, with very limited assistance- a long way from anywhere.....
At a similar time my father became a (Quadriplegic) through a freak accident / I started getting thoughts of suicide / self harm /nightmares - daymares (things that would come to me in the daytime) feelings of rage / anger / hate - hearing small noises at night that would have me on a knifes edge for hrs afterwards- it was like this for years on and off
But after getting better help ( had to go through a whole trial of hit and miss medications) I found what helped, and started a long process of recovery.
I was required to leave the Police specifically due to mental health issues I was diagnosed with severe PTSD / depression / anxiety .
now some 20years on I still have problems from time to time/ still have sleep issues from time to time , but I have also learnt to recognise symptoms and thoughts earlier to get help / up medications / or do whatever I have to do to move forward in a positive manner. (the gift of service that keeps on giving! ) it does get better and it can get better.
I have a lot in life to be thankful for as I'm blessed with supportive family and friends and this remains my positive driver. I cant change my memories but I'm working on lowering the volume of the bad memories-recently after watching a certain series on TV other memories came back that I prefer would have been forgotten.
That said good for me may be as simple as focusing on an insect, animal or a tree, this has taken a long time but it is changing …I hope over time yours on this forum can change for the better as well....Kind regards to you all
I'm not going to go in depth detail here : I Served in the Police - worked in accident investigation / forensics department, crime scene photography, fingerprints and forensic ballistics as well as policing in remote areas (desert / remote bushland)
I thought over my career I was coping well with all the things I had done and seen over a 14 year period, but it was a fatal car accident (one of many I attended) remotely in bushland that I have come to call the straw that broke the camels back. I watched as this young girl died of significant head injuries, with very limited assistance- a long way from anywhere.....
At a similar time my father became a (Quadriplegic) through a freak accident / I started getting thoughts of suicide / self harm /nightmares - daymares (things that would come to me in the daytime) feelings of rage / anger / hate - hearing small noises at night that would have me on a knifes edge for hrs afterwards- it was like this for years on and off
But after getting better help ( had to go through a whole trial of hit and miss medications) I found what helped, and started a long process of recovery.
I was required to leave the Police specifically due to mental health issues I was diagnosed with severe PTSD / depression / anxiety .
now some 20years on I still have problems from time to time/ still have sleep issues from time to time , but I have also learnt to recognise symptoms and thoughts earlier to get help / up medications / or do whatever I have to do to move forward in a positive manner. (the gift of service that keeps on giving! ) it does get better and it can get better.
I have a lot in life to be thankful for as I'm blessed with supportive family and friends and this remains my positive driver. I cant change my memories but I'm working on lowering the volume of the bad memories-recently after watching a certain series on TV other memories came back that I prefer would have been forgotten.
That said good for me may be as simple as focusing on an insect, animal or a tree, this has taken a long time but it is changing …I hope over time yours on this forum can change for the better as well....Kind regards to you all