It's Time To Find A New Normal

[justwannabeme]

I guess it's time, I have been trying to be invisible my whole life, and well it's not working and getting pretty lonesome, old and tired. I have so much to be grateful for, and so much trauma to heal from.

But I'm hear, I did it, I found this site, I lurked around in here, then I registered, and this is my third post. Major wow for me. Baby steps, reading, research and pushing to get out of bed, just today I can do this.

Thanks for all the sharing and caring in here, pretty cool. I wonder why, even though I will never see any of you, why it is so hard to post, and why it took over two years of T to even start to share any of me. I have finally shared some of the tough stuff and no tears, never shared tears in my life. Tonnes on my own, wonder if anyone ever drowned in them, but never ever in front of anyone.

I do see hope in here, and maybe it might help, because my way is getting me no where but in a downward spiral. Been told that I have PTSD about 5 months ago, then more trauma so everything got put on hold and my T worked through the whole issue with me. Never ever trusted anyone before, all so new and even though is good, it's still really hard. He is so very patient with me, I do get very worried that it's all too much, but I keep going back. I am very emotionally immature for a 51, like 13 sometimes. Absolutely drives me to distraction.:cool:

Hanging in and pushing through for hope, and maybe a little bit of fun would be nice.

 

[livergirl70]

i told my therapist that I just wanted to get back to normal, she asked me what I thought was normal and I must admit that made me think. I have always been pushed into behaving in certain ways and gone along with what everyone else wanted. Now I've decided to start trying things to see if I like them. I started going to the gym and got totally hooked, wish I'd done it years ago. Saving up at the moment to do a car maintenance course at the local college in the evenings, you never know until you try

 

[Vee Lagrome]

I'm glad you're finally posting on here and I hope whatever is going on in your life is resolved. I'm not sure what sort of trauma you are experiencing, but at least you're building a support system, which is always a plus. :)

 

[justwannabeme]

Thanks for the replys, really wish I could get hooked on the gym. and I'm looking into college, but I still have no idea what I want to be if I ever grow up. A support system is great, especially one that's inside where it's warm and no crowds, except the ones in my head!!