I've Hit A Wall Mentally Today

[kimba]

I can't explain it any other way. I've done my chores for the day and taken care of my animals and I just don't know. I feel nothing, don't want to do anything and just want to go back to sleep. I've eaten a little but have felt nauseous most of the day.

I am pretty sure it's all connected with Father's Day and the alcoholic life I lived in until he died when I was 16. It was so long ago but a few things came up in my last therapy session that had to do with him hitting us when we'd push his buttons. One time I thought he broke my jaw and I never said a word as I had pushed him too far thus making it all my fault.

Anyway, I am just going to muddle through, go to bed early and pray tomorrow is a better day. thanks for being there...

 

[Venator]

I know how you feel, I hit these wills just as you describe - sometimes for no reason. I wish I had advice for you beyond the fact that you're not alone.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Right there with you, Kimba!

Father's day opens the wounds for many...

 

[kimba]

Thanks for the responses. Better today because I have to leave the house which makes a difference. Knowing you have to look good so nobody knows how rotten you may be feeling takes some time.

Thankfully, I've gotten to be good at acting like everything is fine thanks to my parents so off I go. We'll see what the day brings.

AOL has done some upgrade that changed my font. I need to figure out how to fix it and don't have time right this minute, sorry if someone has trouble with it.

 

[Beautiful Butterfly]

I felt the same way you felt on Fathers Day, and you are right after being able to hide your true feelings for years and years it becomes like second nature. I hate it, I want to not just look good but feel good too. I know this is not going to make you feel better, but you are definitely not alone in your thoughts. I'm sorry you had to endure mental and physical abuse. I thought when I was younger that when I became a grown up I would not ever think about the tragedy that happened in my life, boy was I wrong.

 

[KP the nut]

Kimba, you are not alone, that wall is there lurking in the background. We have to keep climbing it. Small baby steps one bit at a time.

I hope today is better for you. PM me if you want to talk.

Linking arms
KP

 

[NIKI]

I glad today is better for you. I know all about the acting like everything is fine, I do that all the time. People in the outside world would think I don't have a care in the world.:(