Just Another Thread

[Nighthawk]

I reside in this world you are in most of the time. I can only tell you you are not alone in this living hell. Nothing you have said I have not thought on many days and in many ways. I can't tell you to find something because I have not found it yet myself.

Hate that you are suffering hate that anyone has to suffer to this degree. In a way I really hate that anyone else on this planet has ever reached this point of hate for life.

 

[anonymous]

I am sorry nighthawk, that we share the same company as well. It is a living hell.

Don't know what to do about it either.

 

[Kintsugi]

I know what you mean, about waking up every day and just hoping that I'll die by accident. That one of the many things that could possibly cause my death every day (choking, random accident, etc.) will finally take away the burden of living.

But that feeling is a lie. Depression is the chorus of sirens that seeks to seduce we poor sailors into the depths of death. But we can weather the storm and the dark. I was feeling just like you're describing for several months recently. Just in the past month or so, I've snapped out of it. And this has happened before. Depression tells you that everything is horrible, always has been, and always will be. That's a lie. Hope does exist. Don't let the sirens lull you in with their lies.

 

[anonymous]

That's a lie.

Sometimes I believe that, other times I can't spot the rat.

Hope does exist

Regardless of what happens, that is one irrefutable fact. For if I die by accident then there is peace in death. If I live to see this lift, then I will find myself comfortable with breathing ;)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I now wake up everyday in hopes of meeting my death. I see opportunities and hope for them. Just to accidentally die would be f*cking awesome. A win, win.

I have wished for a terminal illness (no offense to anyone that has one) or something that would kill me so I dont have to figure out how to get around that f*cking annoying human nature to survive forever now...most especially now! It rather pisses me off, the human nature to survive that is. If i wanna drown myself in a pool and cant chain myself to the bottom, why the f*ck cant i?

 

[Kintsugi]

Anon, that second bit of your response is exactly what I remind myself of when I feel like that. If I die, so what? But if I live, I live, and I'll keep living until I die, and I won't rush that process myself, because there is no point in hurrying the inevitable.

Some people find that sort of morbid, but it actually brings me great comfort when I am consumed by depression.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I will find myself comfortable with breathing

There's a such thing as comfortable with breathing?

Sorry, I didnt mean to jack your thread or anything...

 

[Kintsugi]

@lostforgottensoul I'm having trouble seeing how your last two responses could be helpful to someone experiencing severe depression and suicidal ideation. Your first post makes sense as sharing a similar feeling and empathizing, but following that, it almost sounds like your attempts to contribute are just plain discouraging.

There is such a thing as getting to a better place for those who choose to hold on long enough to seek it out and embrace it. Depression is not forever; that's what it wants you to think. I can see that Anon knows this and has, in the past, even felt it. ;)

 

[Nighthawk]

As much as I struggle I look for 1 thing I can see good in and work my way from there. I am rather persistant that I am going to find a better way to exist in this world.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Im just depressed and have been for a few days @Simply Simon, sorry, i didnt mean to be discouraging. :sorry:

 

[EveHarrington]

Is there anything, I really do mean anything at all, that would help you in this moment?

 

[anonymous]

Some people find that sort of morbid, but it actually brings me great comfort when I am consumed by depression.

I have been known to be morbid as well. To each his own?

@lostforgottensoul- I relate.

Thank you @Nighthawk. What have you found to be your focal point?

@EveHarrington, lost for an answer. I do not know.