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Just Been Diagnosed…

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Nightjar

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Whatcha gang.

I've recently been diagnosed lifelong complex PTSD, and this has answered many questions for me.

I'm unfortunately a product of the English care/children's home system, and subsequently found myself street-homeless for twelve years, then three years of prison. The homelessness made my condition worse, no end. People are mainly my problem, particularly the vicious schadenfreude which I have experienced from health care professionals, or much, much more often, the mindless and sometimes deliberate officiousness that kept me on the street for years longer than necessary.

I am incredibly lonely, realise that I'm not such a bad looking fella, but that every time I open my mouth round somebody, I display symptoms. At my best I appear desperate/outlandish/off the wall/off key. At worst it's like trying to have a conversation with Hitler! Just to give you an example, when I was Reading the rules for this forum, my adrenal glands were pumping very hard, I can tell you. Social exclusion is the root of my condition, and probably one of my largest stresses/bugbears. People who were given the gift of correct grammar are obviously at a tremendous advantage on your forum - evidently to the point where people who Don't have these privileges are completely excluded.

When you consider the demographic for a condition such as complex PTSD, you will realise that many people who are displaying symptoms are completely undiagnosed, and worse still are at a huge disadvantage in procuring info. that could help them.

I will NOT be paragraphing my contributions (if you are man enough to display them, that is.) I will NOT be giving you a reason for this. Suffice it to say that I feel incredibly privileged to have had a mother who took the time to educate me between beatings. AND THAT's my point. Not everybody has access to learning, and YOU SHOULD KNOW, Anthony, that this can be one of the largest contributing factors that can catalyse this Condition. Nothing personal mate, I agree with your sentiment, but you are a moderator, so moderate it!

Hope you can take constructive criticism, because I am relapsing hard, and this forum may prove helpful. Oh yes, gone tangential again; what I was going to say was that my posts will be intelligible, regardless! :naughty:
 
Hi Nightjar

Welcome to the forum.

From reading your post I was wondering if you have had or are currently having any therapy or taking medication. Maybe it would be a good idea to look into this if you are not, for your own peace of mind if nothing else.

May I suggest you take a look across at the PTSD chat area and maybe you could find some interesting post to read of how to keep a bit calmer.

It is difficult starting on a new path but with help, support and maybe taking some advice from others you will begin to feel better.

Good luck and take care.

Amethist
 
Welcome to the forum, NightJar.

Please understand that the rules - including those regarding grammar - are not in place to exclude anyone:

"Grammar may sound a trivial issue to you personally, however; the ability to read posts when suffering severe trauma, severe symptoms of PTSD, is by far quite real. Members who often have poor grammar, paragraphing, etc, complain because they fail to get responses or many responses, so this can create issues against other rules with members going on the attack. The forum has a strict policy on grammar, and every member must adhere to some basics. We do not expect you to be an English teacher or scholar, though all members can implement these basic rules upon this forum."

The remainder of this text (as well as the aforementioned basic rules and grammar guidelines) can be found here:
[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/faq.php?faq=faq_12#faq_faq_212[/DLMURL]

Let me ask you a question to perhaps put this in perspective. If you were a guest in someone's home, would you expect to tell them your rules for being in their house? Would you tell them that you will not be removing your muddy shoes, but walking on their carpet? That you'll be going into whatever rooms you like? That you'll be moving their furniture to better suit you?

This is a wonderful place for help and healing! And we are all guests here on this forum. If we wish to continue participating, we agree to abide by the rules set forth.
 
Oh, I just love it when the newbies come out of the woodwork and start with their crap right off the bat!!!!!!

Nightjar....Calm down will you please, get a grip, take a deep breath, and relax dude. You sound like an intelligent person, but a tad spoiled and into throwing temper tantrums........

The only thing that temper tantrums will get you, is longer moderation or banned....

This place is a terrific place for healing. Calm down and give it a try.......
 
Hi Nightjar, welcome to the forum.

You seem angry, but honestly I do not really care. You either follow the rules or your further posts will never see daylight and be deleted. You are not special, nor is any other member of this forum, to the point where you do not comply with this forums rules. Your choice is to comply with the rules or leave the forum... or you will be removed if you continue.

There is no further discussion on this point.

Regards,

Anthony
 
Me Too

I know how the anger can control and consume.

I dont leave my house due to the fact that I have seriuos issues with people as well. Living on the streets, homelessness, and I think just being brutally aware of what people can truly be like has left me in a constant hate and fear of snapping and ending up in jail.

I Dont possess the writing skills that are needed here yet as school , prostitution and drug dealing didnt go well together. I am not gonna let that limit me though from getting help and trying connect with others that are hurt as well.

You obviuosly came here for a reason, so dont let grammar be your biggest problem. You have made it through so much already.
 
Dude.

Honestly, NightJar, I would be proud of yourself for posting what you did. You had a problem, you explained why you had the problem and you were able to do so clearly and coherantly.

However, when in Rome.... I very much agree with Mina's post, or perhaps more with the sentiment behind it. We have to have manners; I was taken aback by Anthony's steadfast, held to the bone convictions about grammar and such, but grammar is a small price to pay for communication. At the end of the day, I believe what this forum requires of its members is little more than common courtesy and straightforward communication.

My boyfriend participates in a forum similar to this one. He is self-educated, has ADD and MDD, and dyslexia. It sometimes takes him three hours to write a post. I thank my lucky stars that I am an overeducated, underemployed writer who knows that most people here don't spell things right or use grammar correctly anyway.


s.
 
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