Just Got Back From Deployment. Depressed, Crying, Can't Sleep, Nightmares. Possible PTSD.

[MontanaDevilDog24]

Hey everyone, I know I haven't posted on here in a while. I'm going through a really rough time right now. I was supposed to be deploying back to Afghanistan with my unit, but that has changed. I am being medically discharged from the Marine Corps because my PTSD is so bad. I should be discharged within the next two weeks or so. I also am being admitted tomorrow into the Psych Unit of the VA. I feel like my life has come crashing down on me. I'm only 24, and I had a whole career in the USMC ahead of me :(

At least they are taking care of me though, and at least I don't have to go to Afghanistan now, which in all honesty would have made my PTSD worse if I deployed again. I don't know how long in all honesty I'm going to be in the hospital, but my Mom is coming down here to California from Montana to help me get through this and be there for my girlfriend too. I will keep everyone updated as often as I can. Thanks everyone.
-Austin

 

[PainX2]

Glad to hear from you again Austin. I hope that VA takes care of you and don't let them give you anything less than what you deserve. You've fought for your country and because of it, you've been injured. You deserve all (and likely more) support that they have available.

 

[amethist]

Take care Austin, you deserve all the help and support going.

Post updates of how you are progressing when you can. Great to hear your mum is joining your girlfriend to support you with this too. Maybe you could suggest they take a look on here too, carers need support as well. Better still they could take a look at the New Combat PTSD Forum section for carers of veterans. They need to learn how to look after themselves, to keep supporting you, we can help them through the tough times, while the VA helps you.

Take and good luck.

Amethist

 

[cdnleaf]

Hello, I was reading your story and it really strikes close to home for me. I'm being released spring 2011, though with a couple more years in. A doctor at Homewood, that I really respected told me that I had been a great soldier, and now is the time to start taking care of myself. That I had to do some lifesaving work on myself and couldn't do that in uniform. I understand, though for me the rush from operations was like an addict chasing the dragon. Put me in coach, bags are packed and I'm good to go. What's bizarre is sometimes I get up in the morning and feel like I have one more tour left in me. I don't know if that ever goes away? I am certain of what needs to be done to get healthy; staying in uniform just isn't part of that. I completely respect your courage in getting help and know that I should have done the same 10 years ago. I hope all is going as it needs to and that you are doing well. Much thanks and all the best,
Dan.

 

[Nishkaa]

I just glanced through this thread, and I think, 'wow' what an incredible journey. The courage it took to go up to your Co., and I am very pleased to hear he treated you with respect and took it seriously. In the past, some militay has had a bad rap for not responding responsibly to a person presenting PTSD, it's nice to see more changes happening in this regard. I think you probably knew on an intuitive level, what was best for you when you came here, but needed to get some feedback on it to make sure of yourself, check some facts, get perspective. This was a lot of courage. It sounds like you made a very good decision that was right for you and I'm so glad you didn't get slammed back into the 'theatre'.

I really like how Dan puts this, that he realized that he "had to do some lifesaving work" on himself first, that he "couldn't do that in uniform".

It makes a lot of sense.

I'm just wishing the very best for you. I know that it's tough stuff that you are facing, but I'm very glad that you've taken to doing that now, and not waiting, doing another tour, etc. You might even be able to avoid chronic illness, from untreated PTSD, because you are now learning how to cope with it and get it out what needs to come out.

No matter how you feel right now, you do deserve happiness. I feel saddened just imagining the difficult circumstances you faced, and I can't imagine fully, but I know the mess of PTSD and partially relate to frightening sights, difficult situations-- and yes, the "witnessing-type" of trauma is real (it can do a mess on a person's nervous system, all the same, especially during the on-going 'hyper-alert'/adrenalized). The "witnessing-type" of trauma does hurt, it affects our physiology too; it's very human, we are wired that way. The 'witnessing-type" trauma is also hard to square with, the powerlessness of the moment, the damned helplessness; it does not feel good, it's actually kind of hellish. That other doc you saw, was a 'knob', IMO. ;-) Glad you sought out another opinion!

You Take Care of Yourself. You're Important.

~K

 

[JV811]

Austin,

You have really touched my heart by opening up to all of us. Your daily routine sounds like my friend's as well. I don't know what your triggers are or what helps you sleep but I'm trying to understand all this and you are so brave for speaking up. I want ot help him, but don't know how, I confronted him when he decided to get lit. Bad timing! Now he's so upset at me and says he doesn't trust me, he gets close then backs completely away. Is there anyone that you trust to talk to about this? And why do you trust that person. Hope to get tips so he can feel like I'm his ally in this.

 

[JV811]

I'm so glad you're not going and that they are taking care of you. Having your family around must be awesome. Take care Austin, hope it all works out.