Just Need To Say It

[Guced]

It's not ok that my flatmate just shouted at me again like I'm a child.

It's not ok that five minutes later she acts like nothing happened.

It's not ok that in another 30 minutes she'll probably shout again.

It's not ok that I can't even get to a dentist because the ambulance service won't take me and I have no other way.

It's not ok that I have no one else to "help" me.

It's not ok that I feel so utterly hopeless and lost without my abusive mother.

It's not ok to go back to her, it's not safe.

It's not ok that I don't really have any other options at all.

It's not ok for any human to have to be in this situation.

f*ck people. f*ck everything.

 

[Ine]

Been there, done that. Wasn't much fun. Thinking I am staring down the barrel of this again. Very sorry. I hear you.

 

[Guced]

Thank you

I'm clearly living with a maniac. She did shout again. She also tidied the flat.

Confusing as hell.

My nerves can't take this.

 

[Ujo]

Can I ask a question?

Does she have any mental disorders and/trauma history?

I ask because I am a yeller/exploder as well. Not to give any excuses as it's abusive and you have every right to vent as much as you need and ask her to not yell (set boundries, that helps me a lot) and have your emotions and feelings about it. None of it is wrong. I was just wondering if maybe there is a reason and if they would benefit from therapy?

Many people yell to just use and abuse and that maybe the reason. Personally I do it out of pure anxiety that suddenly skyrocketed and stuff junk just all happen to explode out at the moment. I have very unregulated emotions. I am working on it and medication helped A TON. But was just wondering because of my own explosions is all.

I'm doing much better now but before DBT and medication I was a basket case. I also have BPD which deregulate emotions so maybe it doesn't fit but thought I'd ask.

Like I said above, if people set boundries for me, that actually helps me a lot with the yelling and I'd say boundries are certianly in order here!

I'm sorry she's yelling at you! Either way, it is abusive and I'm sorry it's happening! :hug:

 

[Guced]

Thanks that's helpful. Well I think she might have mental illness but she will never go to therapy or take meds, she hates both

Yesterday there was more abuse - nitpicking little things I do, like she doesn't even want me to keep an item on my bedside table. It's just a regular object, not anything that would normally upset. Like it would not upset other people I know that for sure. And I was told I'm too quiet. How on earth I'm supposed to talk more when I'm so ill and depressed is beyond me. I cried and cried and cried from frustration but she said "you're too sensitive" wtf?!?

 

[Guced]

She had an abusive father but now I feel like she is being like him - towards ME. but I don't handle it well, I do not have a thick skin. Honestly it makes me so desperate, so sad that I want to run back to my abusive mother! :banghead:

 

[Dunom]

See if there are any social work agencies, centers, intervention groups, etc. that can help you. They might be able to offer a ride, a counselor, or therapist. It'll be a phone call or two, with people far away.

Some churches can be pretty helpful. You don't have to participate in order to talk to them. Churches handle a lot stressed/anxious people, so they often have a list of organizations that can help.

also: yeah, your flatmate has problems. she wouldn't know to "hate therapy and meds" if she hadn't experienced both. don't blame her for her behavior, but you don't have to like it, or silently tolerate it. calm, direct communication, boundaries, expectations. good luck.

 

[Hito]

It got to the point 3 months later that I thought she was going to try to kill me based on how she was behaving and I had her removed from our home.

I now fear she'll attack me someday....

I think I will need to move to another part of the country.