General Lack of Participation by Carers

[Damiea]

LOL hey no one said we couldn't go hide in the corner and toss back a few drinks togeather! maybe you guys just ran out of drinks and needed some of us new people to bring more? LOL

 

[Jen]

Welcome to the forum Sandy you will find it very helpful!
Jen

 

[Nicolette]

Thanks for joining us Sandy.

 

[Alienne]

"Alienne, I do hope you don't find me forward in saying so, but you do seem quite reluctant to post anything publicly at all"

I have to admit that I initially did find the statement above a little disturbing. I wondered why and I decided to give it some time before giving my response.
I certainly don´t think people are in this Forum to deliberately cause hurt (although I´m sure there´s probably been a few exceptions to the rule, as is the case in real life!), and as far as I know I haven´t been rude in any way, so I will just drop my concerns about it, thinking that I´ve probably become quite wary and perhaps a bit suspicious of people, as the past few years have been difficult ones, involving lost friendships and families etc.
I´m currently a full-time SAHM, which (unfortunately!) doesn´t mean that I have loads of excess time on my hands. The baby’s father is currently very ill due to ptsd, therefore basically unable to help out with the child at all, as trying triggers him immensely at times. Our respective families live in two different countries (and we live in a third) and they don´t understand/aren´t interested in our lives. We have very few friends about (of which none are really close as such). All this leaves me on duty with the baby 24/7. So, the only time I have to myself is when the baby is asleep, and that is usually when I manage to approach the pc. I simply haven´t had the time to participate much as of yet, or to think of what possible topics to bring up for discussion myself. Also, English is not my mother tongue and although I´m not exactly struggling in trying to express myself as we do speak English at home, I have to admit that I´m probably too self-conscious when it comes to spelling etc. and have to proof-read umpteen times before going public. Lastly, yes, my husbands past military career is also an issue here, I´m afraid, but I´m not going there at this point.

Cheers to Jen, for being spot-on in her post about being the new kid on the block, as that´s exactly how one feels…then again we´re all beginners at first, and hopefully I will find a little more time (and confidence!) to participate more soon!

All the best to everybody and a little special “no hard feelings-hug” to Kathy, hoping things are okay with your loved ones.

 

[Kathy]

I am sorry if my statement caused you some grief Alienne, it certainly was not intended as such. However, I was a therapist for 25 years (now retired) so I suppose I do sometimes ask quite forward questions! I am glad you thought about it though, that really was my intent, for you to think about why you felt so concerned posting here. Yes, there is a possibility someone from your "real life" will see your post, but I believe it is quite slim, provided you don't give away any really identifying information. When one posts upon the internet, one does take the risk of making oneself or aspects of one's life public, that is a given.

I fully understand being afraid to trust, and everyone has been new here, myself included. In my own case, my husband joined the forum 2 months before me, and I spent those 2 months simply lurking and reading publicly before joining at all. After joining, I was not a member of the private group for nearly 3 months. I became acquainted with the forum publicly, and am glad I did so, as I have learned much from the PTSD sufferers as well.

You do sound busy Alienne. Babies are extremely demanding, however so precious! And having someone acutely ill with PTSD is something I fully understand as well. I certainly didn't mean to infer that you didn't post often enough, only that you should feel free to post here whenever you desire. You needn't feel nervous about it. There are many good people here who are delighted to offer support and friendship. And please do not worry about grammatical errors. If something is truly unreadable, that is what I am here for really, to edit, not give lectures! So, "lecture" over! :rolleyes: Please, please do feel free here Alienne. People wish to help.

 

[Kathy]

Lastly, yes, my husbands past military career is also an issue here, I´m afraid, but I´m not going there at this point.

As soon as you are out of moderation Alienne, I will approve you for the private group, so you may discuss your husband more in depth. We have a couple of members who post mostly privately due to the sensitive nature of their situations. There is no doubt in my mind that you qualify, I am simply waiting for you to meet the requirements.

 

[Alienne]

Thanks Kathy,
feeling a lot better at this end!
Have a nice day and speak later!

 

[Deleted member 93]

Taken care of Kathy.

 

[Kathy]

Thank you very much Veiled!

 

[Damiea]

don't let bad spelling stop you from posting!! LOL my typing is way way better then my spelling so I tend to type faster then I read what I type! lol forget about checking each word as I type to see if its spelled right! besides I really do suck at spelling LOL

 

[Jim]

Christ if proper grammar was a requirement yours truly would not qualify, that is a certainty! ;-)

Jim.

 

[jods]

And just to make it more interesting we have the old mum/mom, colour/color, just to confuse us that bit more! :)