I allowed myself to feel some very human emotions today, anger and hate. But when I'm angry, I focus EXCLUSIVELY on what or who I am anger about or at. This gets me trapped.
After simmering on and off for most of the day, I decided to practice some mindful body scanning to see if I could at least level out some. I actually found a much more quiet space inside of me (yeah me!!!) though it took an hour or two of persistance to get me there.
THEN, I rememberd the "Energy Balancing Chart" of Thai Buddhism. There is a list of our main negative tendencies, paired together with their corresponding energy "antedote".
For Example:
Anger / Mirror-like
I've scratched my nogin on several occations trying to decipher what that meant exactly, or more accurately, "How the hell is that going to help me?"
Well, this is what came to me: When you are angry at someone, and they don't respond by getting angry back, you're anger tends to fizzle if you can listen to a accept/believe at least parts of what the other person is trying to explain. In many cases, we are angry about an idea that have convinced ourslelves into seeing as hard, cold fact, when in truth, the actual details of the situation are quite logical and plausible if you give it a chance. You may still withhold some animosity for a time, or suspicioun if you are a non-truster of people in general as I am, but the anger has had its edges trimmed up a bit, maybe ever deflated all together with the passage of time. We've all had something similar happen at one time or another in our lives. This is holding up a calm, non-judgemental mirror to someone.
From another view point, imagine being furious with someone you despise, only to realize in a flash of insight, that you possess the exact same negative qualities in yourself that caused you to hate the person so much in the first place. Our knee-jerk reaction may be to loath ourselves, and want excercise this percieved "demon of our character" immediately. When that can't happen, we immediately scamper to find reasons that it's different with us. It's not as strong a trait in us, or "they're the only one that triggers that in me".
And that's all good and well, no sense hating yourself. But look at it logically - being angry makes you feel like shit, as you rant and rave in your mind of how THEY should be suffering. But their not. You are. And if you can wish such ill upon them, how do you'll think you treat yourslef when you are angry with yourself? That's right... even worse!!
But you don't want to stuggle with this idea, and set up a dynamic of pitting what you are legitimately feeling right now, and what someone else (no matter how smart they may seem;) says you SHOULD feel at this moment. It's just becoming aware of the dynamic of anger, and see how it is robbing time from your life. You'll still get angry, we all do, but with practice you can begin to see through it, and no longer have it control you to such a degree.
We are each mirrors of each other, and we are also mirrors to ourselves if we are willing to become so. Each fall off the "Anger Wagon-train" is an opportunity to practice a more mindful approach, letting the feeling come and be, without judging and grow around it, because of it even. A lesson, not a torture.
Thanks for listening, hope someone might get a little something out of all that.
Dave
PS. Yes, as a matter of fact I WAS high when all this came to me tonight ;p
After simmering on and off for most of the day, I decided to practice some mindful body scanning to see if I could at least level out some. I actually found a much more quiet space inside of me (yeah me!!!) though it took an hour or two of persistance to get me there.
THEN, I rememberd the "Energy Balancing Chart" of Thai Buddhism. There is a list of our main negative tendencies, paired together with their corresponding energy "antedote".
For Example:
Anger / Mirror-like
I've scratched my nogin on several occations trying to decipher what that meant exactly, or more accurately, "How the hell is that going to help me?"
Well, this is what came to me: When you are angry at someone, and they don't respond by getting angry back, you're anger tends to fizzle if you can listen to a accept/believe at least parts of what the other person is trying to explain. In many cases, we are angry about an idea that have convinced ourslelves into seeing as hard, cold fact, when in truth, the actual details of the situation are quite logical and plausible if you give it a chance. You may still withhold some animosity for a time, or suspicioun if you are a non-truster of people in general as I am, but the anger has had its edges trimmed up a bit, maybe ever deflated all together with the passage of time. We've all had something similar happen at one time or another in our lives. This is holding up a calm, non-judgemental mirror to someone.
From another view point, imagine being furious with someone you despise, only to realize in a flash of insight, that you possess the exact same negative qualities in yourself that caused you to hate the person so much in the first place. Our knee-jerk reaction may be to loath ourselves, and want excercise this percieved "demon of our character" immediately. When that can't happen, we immediately scamper to find reasons that it's different with us. It's not as strong a trait in us, or "they're the only one that triggers that in me".
And that's all good and well, no sense hating yourself. But look at it logically - being angry makes you feel like shit, as you rant and rave in your mind of how THEY should be suffering. But their not. You are. And if you can wish such ill upon them, how do you'll think you treat yourslef when you are angry with yourself? That's right... even worse!!
But you don't want to stuggle with this idea, and set up a dynamic of pitting what you are legitimately feeling right now, and what someone else (no matter how smart they may seem;) says you SHOULD feel at this moment. It's just becoming aware of the dynamic of anger, and see how it is robbing time from your life. You'll still get angry, we all do, but with practice you can begin to see through it, and no longer have it control you to such a degree.
We are each mirrors of each other, and we are also mirrors to ourselves if we are willing to become so. Each fall off the "Anger Wagon-train" is an opportunity to practice a more mindful approach, letting the feeling come and be, without judging and grow around it, because of it even. A lesson, not a torture.
Thanks for listening, hope someone might get a little something out of all that.
Dave
PS. Yes, as a matter of fact I WAS high when all this came to me tonight ;p
