Life is a series of distractions.

Renly

MyPTSD Pro
Text someone from the mtgs whose name I recognize? I thought about it but couldn't bring myself to it.
It’s so hard to find your “people” who can support you. I’m also struggling in this area. Big time.

So I drank instead.
This has been my go-to for years. It’s also sometimes my compromise when I want to do worse things. Taking it a day at a time.

I've tried to talk to him in the past but he doesn't get it, and I just end up feeling worse.
I have similar struggles with my hubs. He listens and is supportive initially, but the day to day actually dealing with stuff he struggles. I don’t actually feel very supported overall.

I'm sorry I'm just venting. I just feel so alone. I really need to tell my therapist because I can't keep going on like this.
I’m here listening. It sucks to feel alone. I can relate. Your therapy is on Tuesday? Right? You’re almost there!
 

wisteria

Confident
I’m here listening. It sucks to feel alone. I can relate. Your therapy is on Tuesday? Right? You’re almost there!
Thankfully therapy is tmrw (I changed it cuz the power company is replacing a telephone pole behind our house and subsequently turning off the power for the day, and therapy is online). I just need to get thru today. Just feeling so drained and down. I tried connecting with a 'coach' on the Ginger app but didn't feel I could be honest, so I ended up feeling worse. Obviously I'm not going to mention anything SI related, we don't need to be waving red flags to strangers in an app! I just mentioned I was sad cuz I felt so alone, so she suggested go into nature. Ok. I'll go for another walk. It'll kill some time at least.

Sometimes hubby is a great distraction, but the flip side is sometimes it's so hard to be around him when I'm sad, knowing that I can't share my true feelings with him either. It reminds me of my mom. Not a good thing, that comparison. Probably slightly triggering even, if I was to be completely honest.

Anyway, thanks for responding. It makes me feel a little less alone.
 

Renly

MyPTSD Pro
Thankfully therapy is tmrw (I changed it cuz the power company is replacing a telephone pole behind our house and subsequently turning off the power for the day, and therapy is online). I just need to get thru today. Just feeling so drained and down. I tried connecting with a 'coach' on the Ginger app but didn't feel I could be honest, so I ended up feeling worse. Obviously I'm not going to mention anything SI related, we don't need to be waving red flags to strangers in an app! I just mentioned I was sad cuz I felt so alone, so she suggested go into nature. Ok. I'll go for another walk. It'll kill some time at least.

Sometimes hubby is a great distraction, but the flip side is sometimes it's so hard to be around him when I'm sad, knowing that I can't share my true feelings with him either. It reminds me of my mom. Not a good thing, that comparison. Probably slightly triggering even, if I was to be completely honest.

Anyway, thanks for responding. It makes me feel a little less alone.
I’m glad you are going to therapy a day earlier. I hope that helps! I often feel so isolated - people don’t understand what I’m dealing with and it makes me more depressed. I also cannot bother my T outside of sessions even though I wish I could contact her pretty much everyday. Having that social connection and being heard and understood is so important. Way more important than we realize. Suppressing our true feelings and emotions often makes symptoms worse…but, I get it. I have to do that with a lot of people in my life (Hubs included a lot of the time). It sucks pretending everything is okay when it’s not, or instead having to vaguely share our struggles, which sometimes to me feels worse than just pretending. If it’s any comfort, I’m here and I do understand.
 

Renly

MyPTSD Pro
It did go well. Thank you for asking! I forced myself to tell him everything and glad I did......and I didn't get committed, so that's an added bonus. Anxiety is sneaking in today, and I don't have much else to say. Hope you are well.
Heck yeah! Good job that is amazing! I have the same sneaking anxiety today...probably because therapy is in a few hours.
 

wisteria

Confident
When I started therapy, the first thing I mentioned was feeling like Jekyll and Hyde. I've come to realize that's a gross oversimplification. I don't know why I've created all these characters to deal with the pain. Seems handier to deal with it head on, instead I've got Emily, Sequoia, Buttercup, to name a few, and I feel so disconnected from them all. I can have great empathy for Emily, but boy, tell me Emily is me and all that empathy vanishes. I tried researching Inner Child again and instant anxiety resulted- i absolutely hate the idea. Reading Healing the Fragmented Selves helps appeal to the logical side of me, but when I sit there and talk to Emily, yikes do I feel like a weirdo.

idk.....that's where I'm at. *sigh*
 
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