It’s interesting to find people who have a similar brain and therapy experience to me on this site.This is also so strange for me. It’s like, first off it’s weird…and secondly, my brain kind of rejects child-me. Like something is wrong with child-me.
I can more easily connect with teenage me as well. It’s still uncomfortable, but more doable. My T wants to revisit child-me at some point, but we’ve got enough to sort through at the moment without adding in child work, too.
Do you currently have a trauma therapist? I’ve got lots of “parts” inside my head (not DID) - my T and I are doing EMDR and IFS (internal family systems). EMDR is helping me process my trauma. IFS is helping me identify my parts, describe how I experience them (especially when triggered), and learn how to get “everyone” to cooperate and (most important for me) to quiet down in there lol. It’s loud in my head and I have a lot of parts in conflict.
A lot of people have said IFS is weird or encourages the parts to become more split, but for me it felt very natural and has actually made me feel more “whole”. I know all my parts are ME, but I have a number of them that are a bit out of control and I couldn’t understand why I was engaging in behaviors that felt like “not me”. Recognizing my parts, learning the WHY behind their behaviors, and giving them what they need is helping me heal and learn new skills.
Story of my life!! I was so good at distracting myself for so many years…until I wasn’t anymore. Through therapy, I realized the distractions were actually hindering real healing.