Hi, Dunno myself. Sorry to hear you are having such a time finding a purpose or meaning in your life. I am struggling with that too. It is really hard to face each day feeling lost, not knowing what to live or struggle for.
In your situation I am concerned that your husband will not allow you to work. I sense that is something you want to do. Am I wrong here? If you're able to leave the house, not disabled or with other health issues, then I would strongly suggest you get involved with something that interests you. It could be volunteer work. There are so many organizations that need people, and people who do get involved do end up feeling needed, feeling fulfilled.
I sense also that what saddens you too is the lack of concern for your feelings your family appears to have for you. I wonder how well or not well your communication is with them. Have you been put down for expressing yourself to your husband and son? Do they know how you feel? I think it would help you a lot to know that they do care about you and wish you to be happy. If over time the communication between family members has been put on a back burner perhaps now is the time to try to open up some lines.
It is evident from your statement about wanting to end your life that this situation has reached a critical point.
Please let a professional know how deeply this is affecting you. A counselor could also help with getting your life back on track, with or without the blessings of your family.
I hope this forum can be of some help to you too.
Hugs to you ((((Dunno myself))))
