hello everyone. i was diagnosed with ptsd almost a year ago now.
my therapist recently suggested that maybe group therapy would be good for me to look in to, but considering the pandemic my options in that direction are... limited! of course a forum isn't the same thing as therapy—but i thought maybe some feeling of community and speaking with others who may understand some of what's going on with me would be better than none at all. plus what could it hurt?
in january of last year i packed everything i could fit in two suitcases and moved in with some friends i managed to make half way across the country. i won't dig too deeply into specifics, but up until that point my life was more or less constant abuse. all encompassing abuse. what my parents put me through shaped my reality so much that i had completely given up on having a life.
this puts me in a strange place now, here, trying to navigate adult life and healthy relationships and so many things that should feel "better" or "normal". i logically know that i'm safe now, that it's ok, that i've got help and can move on, but i still find myself ruled by the same terror and self loathing i've always had since i was a child. hard as i try i still can't work, and the only way i manage to function in the day to day is by allowing myself to just... dissociate through things. don't look too close.
last fall and winter i suffered from insomnia so severe that i got on average 12 hours of sleep a week, plus an entire week where i just didn't sleep at all. luckily my therapist was able to guide me in the direction of trying medication, which now controls the insomnia very well, but doesn't help much with everything else.
i can't say that i know WHAT to do, but i do know that i can't keep going on like this. i'm not willing to give up again.
so!! that's me. i hope you all are doing well, and thank you for letting me share this with you.
my therapist recently suggested that maybe group therapy would be good for me to look in to, but considering the pandemic my options in that direction are... limited! of course a forum isn't the same thing as therapy—but i thought maybe some feeling of community and speaking with others who may understand some of what's going on with me would be better than none at all. plus what could it hurt?
in january of last year i packed everything i could fit in two suitcases and moved in with some friends i managed to make half way across the country. i won't dig too deeply into specifics, but up until that point my life was more or less constant abuse. all encompassing abuse. what my parents put me through shaped my reality so much that i had completely given up on having a life.
this puts me in a strange place now, here, trying to navigate adult life and healthy relationships and so many things that should feel "better" or "normal". i logically know that i'm safe now, that it's ok, that i've got help and can move on, but i still find myself ruled by the same terror and self loathing i've always had since i was a child. hard as i try i still can't work, and the only way i manage to function in the day to day is by allowing myself to just... dissociate through things. don't look too close.
last fall and winter i suffered from insomnia so severe that i got on average 12 hours of sleep a week, plus an entire week where i just didn't sleep at all. luckily my therapist was able to guide me in the direction of trying medication, which now controls the insomnia very well, but doesn't help much with everything else.
i can't say that i know WHAT to do, but i do know that i can't keep going on like this. i'm not willing to give up again.
so!! that's me. i hope you all are doing well, and thank you for letting me share this with you.