Living every day as if it’s your last

[Skywatcher]

This could be considered off topic, but in a way, it’s not.... my T is gone for a few weeks. She knows that this is hard for me, so she gave me a hand written card to hold onto. Part of it said that it would comfort her to know that I am taking care of myself in big and little ways. So, her request makes me actually feel like I need to do that. The poster that says “live today like it is your last.” Puts unrealistic and unnessesary pressure on people. What my T said is doable. Maybe there should be inspirational posters all over the place that say “Take care of yourself today because today is where you are right now.”

 

[Tinyflame]

Makes perfect sense @Ronin , exactly.

The poster that says “live today like it is your last.” Puts unrealistic and unnessesary pressure on people.

I think the reality is some of us live with that fact everyday, especially as regards others, and all that implies in interactions, care, thoughts, plans. Etc. It doesn't come from the poster; the poster is for people who the thought doesn't cross their mind in that way, I think. JMHO.

 

[Suzetig]

The sheer level of exhaustion it creates to calmly wash clothes as everything inside me is saying the house is on fire, when you know it isn’t -or probably isn’t- is :confusing:

This sums it up so perfectly for me. Just keeping my shit together, doing daily tasks, being with the people I care about can be so utterly exhausting because in my mind I’m fighting fires all the freaking time, even when I know there’s no fire to be fought.

Some days I can do it with grace and dignity, other days I’m literally clawing my way through - think positive “every day as my last” stuff is just beyond me on those days. I can’t live with that kind of intensity and not loose my mind.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

This sounds like kinda a form of OCD to me... (mildly) obsessing over the thought "what if this is the last moment we share" and then needing to act accordingly...

OCD is great at those "what if" constructs... Don't step on the crack, cos... Unless you perform x rituals, then...

And if you try and not-follow the pattern, the OCD brain will immediately conjure up the "bad scenarios" that will happen if the OCD fix (behaviour) isn't carried out...

I'm not saying this is like "get an OCD diagnosis", but I think the thought-behaviour-emotion pattern is very similar to OCD-think...

 

[LuckiLee]

I haven't read this whole post but something J said to me a couple of weeks ago hasn't left my mind and kinda relates to this topic...

"I can't think about the future, I'm too busy remembering the past and trying to survive the present"....

XO

 

[The Albatross]

Hmm. "It’s not a way to live, knowing you or everyone you love, could be dead in any moment. Much less build a life. It’s simply not sustainable."

I would put forward that it is more likely the "knowing you or everyone you love could be dead at any moment" that is not sustainable. Inspirations build up and I too have a low threshold for smarmy ones... but the bit you wrote I quoted, though true, isn't particularly beneficial day to day.

 

[Tinyflame]

These 2 quotes stuck out to me (just my personal experience though):

Some days I can do it with grace and dignity, other days I’m literally clawing my way through - think positive “every day as my last” stuff is just beyond me on those days. I can’t live with that kind of intensity and not loose my mind.

This sounds like kinda a form of OCD to me... (mildly) obsessing over the thought "what if this is the last moment we share" and then needing to act accordingly...

For me experentially I find it quite the opposite: there is absolutely no conscious 'thought' about the reality it could be anyone's last day, or "what if's". I'd describe it more as many points of performance, wherein then that conscious thought comes in to awareness.. much like holding your tongue in an argument, recognizing this could affect the future. Recognizing if this were your last conversation either one of you would be left on that note. I see it as sort of a nearly constant physical and emotional Emergency Preparedness. Not out of choice whatsoever but out of a lifetime of experience, and requirement to do it. 'Knowing' everything could change in a minute.

I also think it has nothing to do with control of the situation or superstition or random fears, but more like controlling the only part possible: consideration (and attempt) to provide the best life for others and least regrets for self. In the event of worse-case-scenario. But it is also very different from assuming the worst.

I think the real problem comes because it is like a point of performance, but when all other points past are not remembered.

I saw my dad do it too; it was the same reason he could be thoroughly enjoying himself one moment, and pacing the floor 3 hours later when my mom was delayed. Or bolting across a parking lot in seconds flat when a stranger collapsed on a hot day. He was there before anyone would have seen her go down, and most would have assumed she likely just fainted.

I also think living knowing today may be your (or other's) last is just true, that can actually contribute to making a better day, not sweating the small stuff, learning to stop and smell the roses, looking for opportunities to give more and love more. I think the key words are 'may be'. But not as in putting more pressure on, as in being grateful for what is there now.

 

[Tinyflame]

I had this occur thursday again, except not from the point of loved ones/ guilt/ fear: a co-worker who won't be above board asked me to do something I couldn't. I got the impression it wasn't the full story, but then she started to cry (on the phone), but I had to say no. She then got very angry (which I expected). But then I thought, that is judgmental of me, even though it seemed not entirely genuine. I tried to suggest some other options, but she wasn't being honest, it seemed/ not the full story. But ever since I've still felt guilty, and I see the whole future for her and her 2 (small) kids in front of my eyes. :( Despite the fact she makes more $ than me, has an H, bought a huge house, is dodging work when there, I think (but am not judging, just 'is'), yet asking for my shifts in one breath and trying to get leave in another (?), and I can't do her request. But it's like if I don't agree I feel like a monster, un-empathetic to her whole future. Idk. I know it's not the same as what Friday posted (which I have to0), but I know it's related.

Sorry if this is the wrong place to put it, it's very confusing to me. :(