Living With A Trigger

[intheprocess]

Talk about anxiety. I am living with someone who is a constant trigger and I have no choice in the matter. I am a nun and the Superiors decide who lives where. At counseling this is most of what we discuss. She is trying to get me through a few more months. I have made it known to the Superior but any change may or may not happen over the summer. I have to keep taking tranquilizers. She triggers me because so much is like my abuser, my father. When she is going to be coming into the house my hands are shaking, my body is anxious and I run for a pill. When I stayed temporarily somewhere else I didn't need any tranquilizers. I am just rambling, but it's hard being so hypervigilant, triggered, depressed, etc. from the situation.

 

[Recovery4Me]

((hugs))) Glad that you shared.:hug:

Does your Abbey allow therapy as well? I have a friend, a nun as well within the UK that is currently permitted to go. It has helped her immensely cope with her MotherSuperior.

 

[Kefira]

I don't have any advice but just wanted to offer my support. I hope a change can be made soon so you don't have to deal with this additional stress in your life.

 

[hodge]

Oh, it must be so hard to live with someone who triggers you like that. I can't imagine. I hope your Superior moves you somewhere else, or moves the triggering person somewhere else. Praying for you.

 

[Sandstone]

(Disclaimer This is what I think I should do, not what I actually mange to do)

I think in your situation I'd want to look at ways she isn't like your father. Starting with the obvious; not the same gender, not responsible for your whole safety and existence, presumably not wanting to harm you…
Then I'd want to use this as a way to practice coming back down from triggers more quickly, and maybe even responding to them less.

Find a way to use her as a tool for growth.

I do understand how very hard that would be though.