Sufferer Lonely Or Alone, I Do Not Know. Isolation Both A Help & A Hinderance - Domestic Violence

[kimbleina]

Isolation following the onset of my PTSD in February of 2017 has been an immense help and an equal hinderance. I don't, and I imagine most of you don't either, feel in sync with the world anymore. People seem so delicate, breakable or dangerous to me.

I wouldn't want my damage to make the people in my life uncomfortable, and I certainly don't want those who prey upon the vulnerable to hurt me. The world is too big for me right now. I keep to myself while healing.

The problem with this is that I like people, I miss my friends. I'm sure it will all work out somehow eventually as I continue to get better, but for now I'm either alone too much, or lonely.

I'm happy to have found this forum. At the very least I can read about other people sharing the struggles. So, Hello!

My PTSD was caused by an act of domestic violence after months of living under threat of the final act that pushed me over the edge. I don't know if that's important to share, but that's what happened. Therapy with EMDR helped me overcoming the debilitating aspects of PTSD, now I'm left with learning to live with this condition that seems to pop up out of nowhere sometimes.

Thank you.

 

[ladee]

Welcome. Glad you found the forum. It's good to have a place to go that we know people understand us. Glad you are here.

 

[Joan]

welcome....I get what you are saying...isolation is necessary, but lonely. Take sweet care of yourself.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

 

[mumstheword]

Hi :-) Welcome @kimbleina !
I understand.
It is what it is.
May your time here be comforting, as it us for many who share this.

 

[jgal]

I know how lonely isolating can be. I have not been very social since I had my baby a few years ago. I limit myself to family activities. I miss my friends quite often.

I'm sorry to hear that you experienced something that makes you scared of either breaking people or being broken by people. Every relationship with other people requires a certain amount of risk and vulnerability, but if you're not ready to open up to other people right now it's understandable.

When those things happened to you in that domestic violence situation it's like they happened to that part of you that is a caterpillar but you are not that person any more, you are stronger than that. You are a survivor. You are in the cocoon right night healing and transforming into that beautiful butterfly that will one day take full flight out into the world fearlessly.

You lived through the victimization of what happened to you once and it scared you then but you don't have to keep living through it in fear every day or that person who did that to you would still be having it their way. You are no longer a victim. You are stronger than that. You are a survivor now. I hope things get better soon. I will be praying for you.

 

[mamachick]

Welcome to the forum and Im sure you will find much help and support here. Your words about not wanting to hurt others or them to hurt you was stated so clearly and resonated with me. Thats exactly how it feels.

 

[Sanctuary]

Hello Kimbleina
Your words resonated with me.
When I look at my ankle I see the 4inch scar my ex left me with.
Some scars don't show on the outside but remain hidden inside us.
I wanted to find something to help you even in a small way. It has helped me so I wanted to share it with you.
I have found a self -hypnosis cd by Barrie Konicov called, LONELINESS that has helped fill the void we can feel inside.
It soothes your mind, and the man's voice is very caring and kind. Complete opposite to what we have experienced.
I believe in trying to find answers to questions that plague us.
I hope this might help you?

May I ask you a question?
I'm about to start EMDR, did you find your symptoms got worse during having treatment?
Where you allowed to take any pain medication if you needed it?
Was it worth it to go through the treatment to get to the other side?
Does it work?
Warmest regards and best wishes and thanks for sharing.