Losing Mind Over Boxes - Moving House

[Deleted member 541]

It's starting to get a little better in the States too, but we still have a ways to go. I'm not sure that we will ever get there, but at least it's a start.

The street that I grew up on, is now 99% gay. My sister is about the only one left on the street that is straight. She's a bigot, that will look you in the face, be sssssssssssooooooooooooo sweet, and when she gets behind closed doors, becomes herself. A bigot, self centered, mean, nasty, self absorbed, and down right hateful at times. She has her issues, doesn't acknowledge them, but I don't hold it against her. I'm just glad that it's been 5 yrs since we have spoken to each other. My life is much better, as I am sure hers is too.

Wendy

 

[Shinigami_Shimai]

Sounds like my little sister, who I have not seen in about 7 or so years. She has many problems and I know why, but she is not willing to admit that anything happened to her and is even mad at me for telling people about what own father did to me. From what I've heard she is majorly into drugs and drinks all the time and now has three kids, the first at 15, each by a different guy.

I'm amazed I never got pregent... well i know why and it is not a happy story... but for some reason I never turned to drugs or alcohol at all either. I always found this weird and then again I ended up with some rather weird behaviours out of the deal... how many people end up with an addiction to Milk? I can never get over the fact that I can have withdrawal symptoms from not drinking milk every day. *shrugs*

I actually fear the states, even though my wife is from Rhode Island herself. I have major panic attacks when I go to visit and I still can not believe I was able to take 5 buses to go out and visit her. 18 hour bus ride through the states... talk about a killer on the nerves... I'm still worried because her parents want us to come out for Christmas and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm still having troubles getting my passport and my doc does not want me to go to the passport office until this move is over because sitting for 3 hours in that room could have bad affects on me.

Anyways, Sorry to ramble.

jaa ne

Kat

 

[Deleted member 541]

Kat,

I hear you and everything that you are saying.. I too had a lot of fears, that I thought I would never get over. I even had Agoraphobia for a period of about 3 months. God it was awful. BUT...... I told myself every stinking day, every time I had to leave, that what I was feeling was abnormal. I refused to give into the fear. I refused to live my life in fear. I refused to become a prisoner of fear. I would actually CRAWL backwards down my stairs to get out of my apartment every stinking day to go to work. God the fear and panic was awful. But I did it, and I got over it.

The only way to get over your fear is to face it head on. It's just an emotion. Awful as it is, the feelings are miserable. It won't kill you. Face them a little bit everyday. Everyday aim for a minute more of facing them. Walk through them with determination.

Do a little at a time, face one thing at a time. You can do this. Talk yourself through it. Kick butt, and kick the fear out of your life. The fear will hold you back if you don't....

Just one baby step everyday, and tons of talking yourself through it.....

Wendy

 

[crzypvt]

I don't know if this is helpful but.

My wife and I are getting ready to move next month. We moved last year because of my job and it was a nightmare.

We moved 60 miles and the costs and the housing and dealing with my job was overly stressful. It cost me more to move those 60 miles as it is costing me to move 4000. Everything that could go wrong did, our car broke down a few times, the moving company showed up at 3 in the morning and wanted the packing boxes back. The moving truck driver locked the keys in the truck.

Before last year I had moved allot when I was in the military, but those moves were fairly easy. I didn't own more than I could carry or throw in a back seat. We lived in our last place for 5 years. It was a dump, but we were some what happy there. In our new place there have been so many changes that I am leaving my job and moving back to the states on my own dime.
The stress has really gotten to us both. My wife has had 2 panic attacks in the past two weeks and I have had times when my emotions flip like a switch. I'll be packing a box and next thing I know I have a really aggressive and angry reaction. It spooks me and spooks my wife.

Last year we joked that we were going to make t-shirts that said "I survived August 2006.” now it looks more like we will have "I survived 2006-2007."

Looking forward I try to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am going home. I haven't been back in 10 years. But the uncertainty of it all grinds on me. How will I take care of the things that need be done? I am counting on family for allot of it, but I have always been self sufficient.

Keep on keeping on and know that while we may be very different, we all go through the human condition.

Thanks