My hypervigilance is so magnified. Has been since my new neighbor moved in a couple months ago. He slams EVERYTHING—like shaking the whole building kind of slamming, has parties, loud people, loud music, skateboards back and forth under our windows practicing flips or jumps or whatever they are called, and badly, (hes doing this right now ugh). Before he moved in there was noise, but nothing unbearable. The occasional slammed door would get my heart racing but that would be it and I could calm down. Even after a couple of months I gradually got more and more used to that amount of noise and knew when to expect it.
But now it is like the slamming never ends, goes on for hours and hours, randomly. Its impacting my life so much, I’m looking out the window or the peep hole at every sound like some kind of creeper. I’m pretty sure the slamming bothers me the most, my abuser was very big on slamming doors, throwing things at the wall, etc. Not sure those thumps and bangs will ever stop putting me into flight mode.
Admittedly it used to be even WORSE, but he’s gotten a couple talking tos from the police and for a while he mellowed out, with exception to all the slamming. Worried he will work his way back up to his old ways.
The sad thing is I’m probably only 3 or 4 years older than him, but I feel like some kind of grouch, getting mad at those damn youngsters for having fun. But the whole reason I chose the top floor was because I wanted quiet. The whole reason I chose a pricier apartment complex was the avoid these sorts of college kids who think they are still living in a dorm. These choices all feel pointless now.
I just, don’t know what to do, I feel like I honestly can’t live like this anymore. I’m in a constant state of stress in my own home, the one place I used to feel something resembling safe. I don’t think I can wait out another 9 months until my lease runs out, and honestly, I really don’t want to move again. Mostly because moving is too stressful, like, I had a breakdown the last time. But also because it was a really nice, quiet apartment complex before this guy moved in.
My therapist has suggested I talk to my apartment manager about this, but I can’t help but think they will be unsympathetic to a person complaining about slamming doors and parties at a complex that is 60% college students. Also just the idea of talking to people has me shaking. We do have a courtesy officer, and I have thought about calling him once or twice when desperate, but that also feels like a no-can do because once again, I’d have to talk to someone and possibly even let them in my apartment to hear the noise, which also is a big BIG nope.
I honestly don’t know why I’m writing this because there feels like no solution other than moving out when my lease is up. I feel silly for even thinking these things, but I guess I do feel better ranting about it. Wonder how long that will last? I'm guessing until the next door slam.
Ever had any terrible neighbors that seemed to make your symptoms worse? Did you do something about it?
But now it is like the slamming never ends, goes on for hours and hours, randomly. Its impacting my life so much, I’m looking out the window or the peep hole at every sound like some kind of creeper. I’m pretty sure the slamming bothers me the most, my abuser was very big on slamming doors, throwing things at the wall, etc. Not sure those thumps and bangs will ever stop putting me into flight mode.
Admittedly it used to be even WORSE, but he’s gotten a couple talking tos from the police and for a while he mellowed out, with exception to all the slamming. Worried he will work his way back up to his old ways.
The sad thing is I’m probably only 3 or 4 years older than him, but I feel like some kind of grouch, getting mad at those damn youngsters for having fun. But the whole reason I chose the top floor was because I wanted quiet. The whole reason I chose a pricier apartment complex was the avoid these sorts of college kids who think they are still living in a dorm. These choices all feel pointless now.
I just, don’t know what to do, I feel like I honestly can’t live like this anymore. I’m in a constant state of stress in my own home, the one place I used to feel something resembling safe. I don’t think I can wait out another 9 months until my lease runs out, and honestly, I really don’t want to move again. Mostly because moving is too stressful, like, I had a breakdown the last time. But also because it was a really nice, quiet apartment complex before this guy moved in.
My therapist has suggested I talk to my apartment manager about this, but I can’t help but think they will be unsympathetic to a person complaining about slamming doors and parties at a complex that is 60% college students. Also just the idea of talking to people has me shaking. We do have a courtesy officer, and I have thought about calling him once or twice when desperate, but that also feels like a no-can do because once again, I’d have to talk to someone and possibly even let them in my apartment to hear the noise, which also is a big BIG nope.
I honestly don’t know why I’m writing this because there feels like no solution other than moving out when my lease is up. I feel silly for even thinking these things, but I guess I do feel better ranting about it. Wonder how long that will last? I'm guessing until the next door slam.
Ever had any terrible neighbors that seemed to make your symptoms worse? Did you do something about it?
