Loud Noises At Night

[kahlan]

Not sure if this goes here..but I think it kind of fits. Anyway just noticed something new :s

My ex whom I was with for four years had a bad pattern of showing up home every friday and saturday night drunk and probably a good 80% of those times would wake me out of a dead sleep so he could start a fight. It had gotten to the point that I had trouble falling asleep the nights he would go out and any and all thumps, bumps, and other loud noises would send me into panic mode. Racing heart, urge to hide, etc. Normally I would just pretend to be asleep and hope he burnt himself out and passed out. Other times I would be "forced" awake and have to participate in the feuds.

Setting up for this new thing. Since I moved out a couple months ago I've been able to sleep for the most part really well :) tonight on the other hand, not so much. I went to bed exausted (long shift at work and my 3 year old refused to go to bed) passed out pretty quick. About an hour ago heard a door thud shut (little man got up) and my heart hasn't stopped racing. I was sooo hoping that this move would help with my anxiety problems, and it has, but for a minute I felt like I was about to be attacked and I think I'm going to have a long restless night :( Just one more thing now I guess to add to my box of crazy. :P

 

[sisu]

Oh, I'm sorry you are feeling that way. Does your son normally get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom? Were you more startled because you were so exhausted? I have no great advice, other than I'm listening. :)

(((hugs)))

 

[kahlan]

He doesn't tend to get up. Once he's out for the night he's OUT lol. I had two very long shifts at work including a very frustrating situation involving morons lacking any sort of common decency. Add a month of isolating from my fella and more obnoxiousness from my ex I'm pretty much at the end of my rope. I'm hoping that last nights episode isn't going to be recurring but I'm.worried that it will be.

It was a very strange feeling to me. I've had panic attacks this was somehow different. Generally when a p.a. comes on I'm still very aware of where I am this time the panic was worse in a way because i literally felt like I was in my old house waiting on A. to bust in the door trying to start a drunken ww3. Most of the day today I've been researching some grounding/mindfulness techniques and writing down a few things that started popping back up that Id either forgotten or purposely suppressed.

I just wish I could have one easy day. :(

 

[anthony]

Sorry to hear Kahlan... and I hope you get a good nights sleep soon. I can understand how that would play on past memories having an ex coming home noisily and then wanting to fight. That is an excellent example of behavioural modification. You hear loud noise and relate it to your ex coming home and wanting to fight. The only thing that will change that, is time... so that when you hear a noise in the night you associate it differently, to something else, maybe your son instead... and each time you hear a noise, consciously try and think of your son being up or such, and when you do it routinely you will actually reteach yourself how a new association.

 

[kahlan]

The whole pavlov dog experiment ran through my head. Being conditioned to certain patterns sucks!

 

[anthony]

Yer, I do love some of the experiments that have fundamentals to behavioural modification. Some of them crack me up at times... things they get animals doing, or not doing. Electric fences are what they are as a result... o_O