Making Dissociation Work For Us

[Anarchy]

Does anyone here use dissociation in a voluntary and positive way?

I was in a car with my father driving last night. He's well and truly into his seventies, but can still be a far faster driver than I'm happy with, and he was doing it last night. I've never had much success establishing boundaries about such things with him, and I wasn't feeling up to a confrontation.

I realized that I did not have to consciously be there, so I deliberately dissociated, and enjoyed looking at the scenery instead, for the rest of the journey.

That's the first time that I've consciously chosen to dissociate in an almost recreational way.

Thinking about it now, I have done it without knowing, concentrating on using ropes harnesses etc, when using roped access over big drops (In the dark - if it was light I wouldn't have even been there!).

Back in my school days I was always "daydreaming", but never as a deliberate "OK I'm bored, I'll go somewhere more interesting now thankyou".

Does anyone else consciously choose to use dissociation, and use it in positive or recreational ways?

if so
How, When, why, where do you go, what do you do, who do you meet there....?

Knowing now what Dissociation is, and that not everyone has the ability to do it to the extent that people with PTSD, AD(h)D, Borderline, DID etc can. It's has just occurred to me that I can "jump on its back and ride it" for pleasure too.

 

[Sarah542]

I think I understand, and I think I did that when I went to the Doctors. I just removed myself when I spoke about sex, it scared me thinking about it in the waiting room. I just stared at the drawers at the back of the room and spoke about the topic. I consciously made myself do that otherwise I'm sure I would have gotten upset. I didn't even sound like me. Is that what you meant?

 

[arfie]

Absotively, I use dissociation intentionally. I sometimes dare think it one of my greater natural gifts. I don't so often dare to say it out loud, but in aware and disciplined practice it allows me to move gracefully through intense situations as diverse as major dental procedures to well rehearsed recitals of what I ought to be. It even allows me to be compassionate toward people who used to goad me to anger.

A HUGE piece of my awareness when I use it is to remember the devastating effects of allowing that gift to run amok...

 

[Hope4Now]

I do it a lot. When I do it intentionally, it helps me get through things that might trigger me badly or upset me. It happens unintentionally often. That part I am working hard to recognize and stop because it gets in the way of being present to my feelings and experience.

 

[Nikki100]

I used to do that a lot but it got out of control. I avoided things I should have dealt with and when I was having a tough day or week, I did it too often. I still do it when I see no other option but I'm very careful about it.
And although I call it dissociating, it's very different from my involuntary dissociations.

 

[Starlite]

I do that a lot as well. I've learned to do that as I was a child. Since I was abused at an early age that is how I coped with some of the encounters I experienced. I still do it to this day and I'm now 32 years old. I do it mostly at work. Got kind of a little crazy boss who sometimes likes to go off the edge and yell but I've learned to block people out and drift off. Especially people like that. He knows when I'm doing too and it makes him even more angry.

 

[Hashi]

I'm wondering if what you're talking about is more what I would call blocking something out.

I've been able to deliberately dissociate for as long as I can remember, but it's a removal of myself apart from functioning. I couldn't call it recreational or say part of me could enjoy myself while another part was dissociated. For me, functional dissociation means auto-pilot.

What you've written about though, reminds me a lot about some things in Japanese culture. Like, the ability to go and sit in a park and take in the beauty of the cherry blossoms, while completely ignoring the heaps of beer cans, rubbish, flies and drunken people puking a couple of yards away.

I think that's something more like selective focus, rather than dissociation. I'm like the queen of dissociation, but I can't do selective focus at all.

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Hashi, I worked a few contracts in one of the shittiest parts of one of the shittiest cities in Africa (there's some seriously tough competition for that title - there was even a cholera epidemic at the time) I used to worry when I stopped noticing the trash, the turds and the beggars.

When you mentioned the Japanese, I just tried to do mu shin (empty mind) I've been trying for ages to do it, by counting breaths, 1 to 9 then start again at 1. All without success, Now I've just gone straight in. I must make time to practice some katas tomorrow :ninja:

Unfortunately it's bed time here. I'll try to catch up with the comments tomorrow.

 

[Hashi]

Yeah I'm here too. I should go to bed!

 

[Whirlwind]

I would say yes I do it, but now I also realize I do it unconsciously at times so I suppose that is the bad part. I am easier on myself though as I have learned why children use it etc.

Positives - endurance sports/discomfort, tricks to lull me into sleep, I can induce it when intensely afraid or upset

Negatives - I do it unconsciously (just realized the extent recently), losing time, not reacting to things I should because I checked out (apparently I seem very controlled and disinterested or I literally freeze and I'm non-responsive). Worst realization was that it triggers when I don't realize or want it to, like when I look back and realize I should have dealt with the situation but it unfolded when I was "gone" and I didn't react or handle the situation.

One thing to note, when it happens, I am really gone as in "time shifts" - not sure how to describe it best. That part scares me. I also can imagine myself away but its .... more like deep imagination. I think they are connected but these days, I like the deep imagination skill but the dissociation isn't good, I think its trouble long term.

I managed a recent situation and amazingly did NOT dissociate, I am so happy, it sucked but I handled it so much better sans dissoc. I remembered everything, and the resultant stress was much better, the dissociation is worse in that nothing is "handled" and I'm not sure what happened so I am unsure how to react in the future, if I should do something, was it what I thought etc etc.

My 0.02, hope it helps answer your question, Whirlwind

 

[somethingsomething]

Definitely. I'm a writer and it's actually made my job as a writer easier. Because I know how to escape reality so well and turn to my daydreams for emotional support...it affects how I write. It allows me to connect with my characters on a level I'm not sure other people without PTSD can.

In my day to day life, it helps me draw back and access the situation....especially in the case of an emergency. I probably should've tried being a doctor, because I can completely escape all emotion when someone or something is trouble and figure out how to solve the problem calmly.