Making Me Nauseated

[tinabe02]

Feeling nauseated tonight. I am having a horrible day. Started a few days ago when I decided to tell my counselor that I was raped by my uncle. She thought that my ptsd was from an abusive parent and a lifetime of illnesses. That is true . And I am sure I have issues from that. At first I just wanted to deal with one issue. But, the more I dealt with one the issues with trust kept popping up.

I smelt alcohol today. There was none around me. Beer that is. My uncle drank when he attacked me. Since then I feel as though I want to vomit. I even took a zofran for nausea, It helped a little but not much. The past few days have been a living hell. Everytime I try to sleep I wake up with night terrors or nightmares. The more I don't sleep the more I am anxious, tired and cranky. The more I am anxious the harder it is for me to sleep. I took the max of trazadone I can take. Am still wide awake. Am still feeling like I could vomit.

Can I make it till my dr's apt. on the 17th? I don't think I can wait for my psych apt.! Guess I will ask for help at my follow up with primary friday.

I hurt so much tonight. I am so sad and scared. Am I worth anything? or will I always be a mess?Is this worth going to counseling? :(

 

[franciemarnie]

You are not a mess. You have PTSD. You are reacting like many with PTSD react when triggered. Can you get in before the 17th?

Your body and brain think you are back long ago and far away and is responding to that now. If you can focus, then focus on what you smell right now in your space, what you see there, what you hear, what you can taste, what you feel. It might help to sit in your chair and make your feet go like you are running so your body knows you aren't trapped anymore. Maybe walking would help you or punching out your arms. Or music so powerful it can pull you to a different place.

You will learn ways to cope and heal. Calm yourself or nurture yourself tonight as you would a small child who is sick with terror.

I hope you feel better. Life can be wonderful again.

 

[Marf]

Smell is the strongest trigger. I hope you are doing better now.