Mastering Ptsd Symptoms; Self Sabotage

[saraemerald]

Thank @candor. Your hug is very much appreciated. I have been struggling lately too with the whole smiling thing too with customer service. Ugghhh! Emd of day, so tiring and not fun. I am just trying to wake up and work through all of my feelings so I can genuinely smile once again afyer the aftermath and do what I REALLY want to do with my own life without the added negative variables.

Thank @candor. Your hug is very much appreciated. I have been struggling lately...

I will check out that website too! Thank you!

 

[Freedomfighter]

I'm sure this may sound vaguely repetitive of some of my previous posts but also somewhat different...

Any self sabotage effort can be stopped just like it started. By being patient with yourself and recognizing that you are self sabotaging your own efforts your regular thinking will kick in.
I have changed my life dramatically too, because you as well as I recognize that predators do not have the final say over you, certainly will not have the power to stop you from making your own choices, even though they would love to do that.

As soon as you can get right back on track, self care is what you deserve. A beautiful person deserves to take good care of themselves.
I have read up on psychopaths that like to hurt other people, and especially male predators. An article stated that they will often choose self assured women, women with high intelligence and strong will to impose themselves onto to them.
That surprised me because I always thought the weaker ones were the ones they prey on, but in that article it clearly stated that such male predators like to attack strong women...... go figure....

 

[saraemerald]

Any self sabotage effort can be stopped just like it started. By being patient with yourself and...

Hmmm. I would have though they would pray on the weaker ones too. I thi k it probably depends on the situation but I can see that because it seems to be the ones who are trying to consciously better themselves that often get targeted. These ones get targeted by males but also from conpetitive and insecure women. I just can't believe I let it get to me. I refused to let such people get to me before and I enjoyed killing them with kindness. This is why I am confused over myself. I really think I was scared of becoming tok overconfident because of the religion I was in. Like I was scared that of I became too confident in myself, I would sin or something.

 

[candor]

I do not like using terms like "psychopaths" cause it means so many different things to different people. Psychopaths do not have to be murders or even sadists. "The hallmarks of what’s typically seen as a psychopath include a lack of empathy and feeling for others, selfishness, lack of guilt, and a superficial charm that manifests exclusively to manipulate others." For more: 7 Facts About Psychopaths You Didn't Know Before

In my experience, psychopaths do prey on intelligent strong women but only if you allow them. They won't change because its not possible for them. I have a dear person in my life that fits the bill. I cannot call him a friend but I have mostly been treated extremely well. I can only take him in small dosis but if I show weakness it feels like I am with the devil himself. He is neither a liar, immoral or violent. I see this person two months max out of the year. Anymore could be harmful and we don't talk about it. We just know. We both score very high on IQ tests but he is quite a lot smarter than me. We have known each other 18 years and of all the things he has taught me, I would have to say that "how to outsmart narcissists" and "how to avoid co-dependency" is top on the list. I hate the word predator cause it sounds as if we don't have any power against them. That may be true of children, someone who is physically being abused or someone who is not all that bright. Most of us stay cause there is something we fear loosing. I have taught myself to be fearless and sometimes paid with my sanity but I came out stronger and wiser and thankful that I can now see it coming and choose to disengage. I feel very strongly that by blaming so called predators we loose an important opportunity to develop the fearless warrior within.

 

[candor]

" I enjoyed killing them with kindness. "
I do that a lot :-) If you are being passive aggressive at the same time, it can be very hurtful. You will be respected and admired if you can consistently take the high road. I don't believe in sin. My moral compass is whether or not I would be willing to admit my actions in public. I am willing to be overconfident. I am willing to be shameless without shame. And I recognize the fact that I can't always please everyone and do what they expect me to do. I have worked very hard to like me and to listen to others but decide for myself.

 

[saraemerald]

Well, I think I was in a vulnerable place in my life. I wanted to be in a relationship for once and I had worked very hard to better myself and I figured at the time that "God" would have blessed me with one by then, like all my friends around me are getting married and such, so what more does he want from me. I think I was tired of being patient and was lonely and wanted real friends with deep connections and even though I was considered "spiritually strong" in that religion I didn't want anyone to think I was righteous or something. I was longing for something real, here or now, not just letting life pass me by waiting for some Armageddon to come and worrying that if you don't stay "spiritually strong", you won't make it, like the religion teaches.

 

[candor]

I think that you are going to be alright saraemerald moving forward. Just look at how many times you write "WAS"
in your last post. That means that you are already less vulnerable. Its ok to be and feel a bit selfish. Its ok to be the real you. :-)

 

[Brandie Cassella]

I'll check that book out then. I am having a hard time understanding why we would be doing great at...

I'm having this same issue.

Any self sabotage effort can be stopped just like it started. By being patient with yourself and...

This is very true. I've read so much on the topics of narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths. The seek out to destroy you. I would suggest a site but I'm not sure how. I just uploaded the image. It has helped me tremendously in my healing.

 

[Sophie's Daddy]

So this is a theory. Self sabotage is caused by an internal conflict within ourselves we are unawar...

Your last sentence is a healthy one to live by-all you can ever do is the best you can with what you have at any given time...