Z
Zara
I went to therapy for multiple traumas over 10 years first session, my boyfriend came with me and it unearthed a lot. A lot he knew about tbf but I've now been left with all this unearthed stuff. I have no friends my boyfriend is literally it at 25 that is so very sad I mean I have my mom and she'll take my daughters.
I tried an accidental purposeful overdose I just popped pills all day till my stomach cramped up and I passed out but my daughter phoned my boyfriend in tears by the time he got to me I was up and fine saying I had a crappy tummy.
My dad now knows all this unearthed crap which in therapy found out he was my starting block for when it began to fall apart ( he'd had an affair which spiralled me being wreck less homeless and got into my traumatic events) and is willing to pay for therapy but laying here alone I want to end it.
I've not got a friend since I've moved, I cannot find work after being a successful manger, I'm bankrupt, and feel PTSD is the tipping point. My daughters are so much happier with my mom ( my intrusive thoughts make me feel like a Paedophile and on those days I won't even want to cuddle them as desperately as they need me), my boyfriend is extremely successful and has an incredible family daughter and words couldn't encompass him it'd be almost rude to just call him incredible he deserves 100% better rather than some on the dole single mother, my mom will be sad yes but she will have my daughters, as for my dad in his words I do nothing for him and my brother well were extremely distant.
So laying here alone why not try again maybe this time I won't wake up, they'll be pissed off because they have to have the girls but hey I fought for a year in court for there custody maybe they'll have to have the same fight and feel it to.
Everyone just deserves better and laying here alone while their worlds continue proves that.
I tried an accidental purposeful overdose I just popped pills all day till my stomach cramped up and I passed out but my daughter phoned my boyfriend in tears by the time he got to me I was up and fine saying I had a crappy tummy.
My dad now knows all this unearthed crap which in therapy found out he was my starting block for when it began to fall apart ( he'd had an affair which spiralled me being wreck less homeless and got into my traumatic events) and is willing to pay for therapy but laying here alone I want to end it.
I've not got a friend since I've moved, I cannot find work after being a successful manger, I'm bankrupt, and feel PTSD is the tipping point. My daughters are so much happier with my mom ( my intrusive thoughts make me feel like a Paedophile and on those days I won't even want to cuddle them as desperately as they need me), my boyfriend is extremely successful and has an incredible family daughter and words couldn't encompass him it'd be almost rude to just call him incredible he deserves 100% better rather than some on the dole single mother, my mom will be sad yes but she will have my daughters, as for my dad in his words I do nothing for him and my brother well were extremely distant.
So laying here alone why not try again maybe this time I won't wake up, they'll be pissed off because they have to have the girls but hey I fought for a year in court for there custody maybe they'll have to have the same fight and feel it to.
Everyone just deserves better and laying here alone while their worlds continue proves that.
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