Mental fog from isolation: does anyone else experience it?

[falling_wave]

I frequently get this kind of mental fog. It usually starts with lonliness when I have nothing else going on and no one to spend my time with, often on weekends. The lonliness builds in my mind and I often isolate for full days doing absolutely nothing because I feel like it's too much effort to take a walk etc and I feel too bad. Then when I try to go out its like my mind is detached and I feel like I'm in a seperate world from everyone else. It's kind of like when you've been in the dark for so long and you can't see clearly when the light goes on. Does anyone else get this or have an explanation?

 

[Meadowsweet]

Yes, I get this. I'm not sure I can explain it though.

 

[Seasounds]

Yes, this occurs to me too, when I isolate. My own reasoning, is that the disconnect is there because I disconnected. I usually feel better when I take a walk, or while I run errands, breathe and let myself have a respone to things that I like, or have interest in, in my world. It is that 'through relationship" work/mental exercise, that regain a sense of connection to my world.

Some people, dance to music, do an exercise workout, etc. I hope that you have a way "in", too.:)

 

[falling_wave]

@Saetva thanks, I do feel better if I can get myself out particularly to do something physical. Sometimes I'm scared to drive though because my mind is not as sharp as usual.

 

[oasis2003]

Yes I often feel like this . I could force myself to face everything. Sometimes though I just isolate myself as everything is overwhelming and then face everything and every one again. I feel better then. I walk swim and notice everything around me using all of my senses. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. I like your description about being in the dark and then not seeing clearly when the light is on . On occasions I feel disconnected from everyone and everything .

 

[greenleaf]

Have you tried grounding exercises when this is going on? @Oasis described what sounded like grounding that my T. has been teaching me. Do you have a good therapist to work on this stuff with?

For me, a certain context-feeling of isolation is very familiar going back to teenage years but I can't remember when it started. I was scared of it as a teenager, it seemed to loom over me sometimes. If you read the stuff about "EP"s and "ANP"s in the structural dissociation model, sometimes EPs are sort of stuck in prior time periods. Lots and lots of people with long-term childhood trauma were isolated from reasonable humans during most or all of it -- the trauma wouldn't have happened in many cases otherwise. As kids we lacked our current abilities to reach out, know about resources like this forum, know that some people actually have the ability to help us, etc.

There are other possible old feelings that parts can hold, and my T mentioned that if a dissociated part is upset about something, maybe feels unsafe, it can sort of fog our thinking in various ways. I'm sure there are other possibilities!

 

[falling_wave]

@greenleaf I do have a therapist and she knows I get lonley and isolate but I haven't told her yet about this. I totally will at my next session but it just hasn't come up yet. I do know about grounding but I haven't used it much. I kind forgot about it in the moment but that's a great idea to get me back. I'll give it a try next time and see how it does. I know scented candles and a shower will both change my mood so maybe that is what I need. I'm kind of confused about dissociation. I don't think I get it except during the worst of my traumas like while they were happening but maybe I'm just not recognizing it in myself. I'll look into that more.

 

[greenleaf]

Dissociation and depersonalization and such can be very difficult to recognize in yourself, if it is sort of chronic, you are "functioning", and it is all you remember doing! Also if you've never heard anyone describe feeling similarly, the official words sound weird...

I finally figured out that I sort of chronically (had/have some derealization?) but never ever used that bizarre term. It was normal for me. I thought of it as dealing with a sort of mirror of the world rather than directly with the world, and came "out" of it briefly now and then, but never stayed for more than a few minutes.

Now it is slowly changing to the world feeling more "direct" more often, and actually emotionally that had been happening for years since I've been around safer people, gotten partly helpful therapy etc. This stuff must involve a lot of neurons or something... Parts of the brain are apparently more active, parts less, than "normal" so how would "we" know if we've been that way for all we can remember? No one even knows what "we" means with this brain activity stuff, what is "I"...

 

[falling_wave]

@greenleaf thanks, your explanation really helped. I also looked up the two. Depersonalization doesn't seem to fit but derealization basically described what I feel. The thing is it comes and goes and I can tell you if I'm in it or not. Is that normal?

 

[oasis2003]

What is normal? I have always dissociated when emotions or events have become overwhelming it is just my way of coping. Trouble is now I dissociate when there is no need to and often feel disconnected from the world, myself or other people. As Greenleaf said it is just like functioning. The thing is how real is the world to any one ? Isn't it all a matter of perception?

 

[greenleaf]

Well, mine comes and goes, so of course it's normal! :geek::rolleyes::alien::bag::cool:

I guess "normal" for everyone is a little different; I read a bit about people who formerly did not dissociate or have derealization, have an adult trauma, and then do. They find it very different from their former "self", what they felt was their "normal" state, and have a lot of trouble adjusting.

However for those of us who started doing this stuff as kids (and then maybe part of our brains decided to dissociate the memory of starting to do it), we might "function" -- often quite "well" . The "structural dissociation" model has been really helpful to me in having a framework to better explain some strange differences and experiences plus the problems... also for many years I could not progress like friends who had childhood trauma but maybe weren't so dissociated from their trauma feelings; I don't think that therapists around 1990 really understood that stuff (many don't now!)

I am not certain what part of the brain makes the dissociation "come and go", but it's definitely not the part sitting here thinking what words to use... It can be safety-related for me, I think, so maybe reptile brain? I shouldn't even guess because I know nothing about the brain that's not in Wikipedia; apparently we share lots of the brain with reptiles.

I just heard a thing on how a woman made snakes in a zoo (seem to) feel safer by sitting quietly with them, day after day... These snakes had been impossible to handle without special head holders. She just sat quietly with them... An anaconda finally came and curled around her leg, not hostilely. Now the other people like veterinarians can handle these anacondas with no trouble, the snakes are reproducing too, which is rare apparently.

 

[falling_wave]

@greenleaf you have been so helpful with getting me to understand this And as a result reducing my anxiety about it. Thank you!