Might As Well Be Straight Up!

[InHell11]

Basically I want to kill myself for how I feel, if anyone has helpful advice please give it to me other than coping with the depression. I think I need to commit myself to the psych ward since my mind is all out of whack.

So anyways just hoping maybe some of you can support if needed. My mental health is really suffering and I need serious help acknowledging that and doing the best I can do to get it...just really depressing so if anyone wants to help that is cool but its more the med people asking for that. I just want help and don't want to burden anyone too much.

 

[Violet03]

I understand not wanting to be an burden. I don't know how much help I will be but I have been where you are right now. In fact, I am probably there again right now.

Something I did in the past was go to a place in Dallas, TX called Timberlawn. It is a specific trauma treatment program. All of the patients there have PTSD and either DID or another disorder. All of them have suffered trauma of some sort in their life (most is abuse). They all understand. The therapists are very knowledgeable and understanding as well.

I found it very helpful and did not want to leave at the end of my stay. It is not like other mental hospitals. This one gets patients from all over the US because of its nationally renowned program.

Other than that, I have no other suggestions for you right now. I am struggling the same way you are right now. My goal right now is to shut down so I have no feelings again.

That is the survival technique that works for me.

 

[NarcSis]

This may not be helpful but, do what you need to do to cope with it. It sounds like suicidal thoughts are a result of feeling trapped in an over active mindset. I just spent two days rooted to my couch like it was a life preserver. I was completely afraid that if I moved from that couch I would succumb to the thoughts and harm myself.

I don't want to die but on occasion I can't shut my mind off, it goes into overdrive, I feel helpless, out of control and I can't see any other escape. Realize that it will pass and if you need to, make that call, crisis line/doctor/therapist or go to the ER and tell them.

Don't be afraid to talk about being suicidal, yes, non-sufferers will judge you but to hell with them, they don't know what this is like. I'm sending you strength and hoping you stay safe.

 

[InHell11]

I think my best bet is to just wait for the appointment, calling people I don't know just makes me anxious so that's not really something that helps to much. In fact yesterday I got set off due to being on the phone trying to figure out what was going on with a prescription refill and not even being able to get ahold of an actual person just their automated system.

But yeah I don't feel much different from when I posted this, its hard trying to wait it out till that appointment but I should be able to, if not I could probably call someone I know or something.

 

[NarcSis]

Try not to be alone, even if it's only online chatting with people. Do something distracting, video games, online games, draw, write or if you can, get out of the house. Don't feel you have to interact with anyone, just sit, watch them, have a coffee or just walk around, wander.

Sadly, it's tough but you're tougher. I used to find the hardest part was being patient and kind to me during this phase. That 'funk' is hard to endure but there are ways to climb back out. Do something you enjoy - everyone deserves a warm cup of soup, or a soothing bath or your favorite meal.

Pamper yourself, no one deserves to be loved and cared for more than you at this time, go ahead and indulge yourself, stimulate the 'good chemicals' in your brain, it's not an instant fix but every little bit helps.

Hang in there.

 

[InHell11]

For the time being I am at my friends house, however at my moms house I kind of prefer being alone to being around my mom and her boyfriend arguing and since I don't get along with that jerk at all I mean at least if I am alone neither of them can stress me out more. I have the internet there so I can get online but sometimes I get triggered online to so then I have to take a break.

Don't know that I am really tougher I feel like I cant handle it without either damaging myself, property or someone else hence the reason I'll just tell the doctor I feel like acting on the suicidal thoughts because even enjoying things doesn't work for me since I can't even actually enjoy anything that I enjoy anymore because of all the symptoms and crap having gotten so much worse than before. But I have like less than a week till that appointment and I can probably make it through that.