Migraines Have Stopped With Ptsd

[Bedbug]

I've suffered with occasional migraines all my life. Over the past seven or eight years, as vague memories of my childhood abuse began coming back to me and I went through bouts of depression, they got much worse. I developed an almost constant headache and my migraines became far more frequent and longer lasting (at my worst I was getting them about once a week, and they would last anything from a few hours to a full week). I had to take a lot of time off work.

I was sent for various tests to rule out any other problems and then started on various medications, both as preventatives and acute management. After trying a few preventative medications, I settled on a low dose of the tricyclic anti-depressant nortripylene. For the most part, it did reduce the frequency, severity and length of my migraines and also helped with my depression, but it wasn't a complete cure and I hated the side effects. I put on weight, I was constantly thirsty, I would get dizzy and light-headed, and I was generally more tired than I should have been. Nonetheless, the side effects were easier to manage than the migraines and I was taking far less time off work.

In September 2012 I went through a particularly bad migraine and after a week I just wanted to die. I remember looking up on the internet to see if I had enough anti-depressant pills to kill me. It seems I did, but something stopped me taking them. I flushed the lot down the toilet and then went through absolute hell for a week. I had only been on a low dose for migraines so it didn't think stopping suddenly would be a problem. How wrong I was! "Anti-depressant discontinuation syndrome", as I later found out it was, kicked in and even after I got through that first nightmare of a week, I felt the effects for many months. However, I was determined not to go back onto medication and gradually the frequency, severity and length of my migraines began to increase again. I was really beginning to despair.

Then, last November, a couple of events happened which resulted in a whole flood of memories of my childhood abuse suddenly returning and I fell apart. That was the start of PTSD and I have been off work ever since. Curiously, though, my migraines have completely stopped. I still get headaches, but not migraines. I haven't gone this long without a migraine since before I remembered anything of my childhood abuse - probably eight years. I'm not complaining, but I find it strange and was wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar.

 

[Abstract]

I can't say I have but I will say that since I have developed the skills to repress less emotions and thoughts and allow awareness and acceptance of them I have gone from a huge problem with migraines to almost nothing. Maybe 2 mild ones is three years. I have also learned to manage muscle tension more which is part of this. I guess I see my migraines, immune conditions etc as somatisation of my emotions and thoughts.

Your story is interesting.

 

[Samantha_38]

I'm not going to be much help. I know all about the migraines though. I went a couple years with hardly any flashbacks. This was more because I was avoiding the issue than anything else.

Then I got sick with a bad infection, no clue what it was, just a really high white count and terrible headache. Nothing came back definitive and some brood spectrum antibiotics cured it. Then came the migraines. Constantly, I always had a headache it was just dependent on how bad it was. 3/10 was a good day. Almost nightly I'd be at 9/10 and be in the ER getting meds that only every took me down about half way again, but manageable.

At the same time....floods of flashbacks and emotions from my abuse all came back. I went through about 20 different preventative meds, also landed on nortryptaline which was only semi effective, but I had less side effects than some of the others. I did experience the side effects you listed above though. I'd gone on again off again for awhile, SICK of being on meds and still feeling terrible. Also SICK of life. More than once thought about all of the the meds I had, and what I could do with them.

I got rid of the migraines when I got pregnant, they just went away. Minus some pregnancy issues, actually all of my health issues went away. Now they have been slowly coming back. My doctor did recommend starting Nortryptaline again, and I did, but went off again after a couple weeks. I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like meds aren't the answer.

It is extremely discouraging to be on so many meds and then still feel terrible. At least if I'm not on meds, feeling terrible isn't as discouraging and just more expected. I doubt you got any help out of this post, but just saying I've gone through the same things.

 

[Bedbug]

somatisation of my emotions and thoughts.

This is likely. I also spent years suffering with costochondritis (painful rib joints). I hated that there was no medical proof that I wasn't making it all up. Both migraines and costochondritis were diagnosed on the basis of my description of my symptoms. "On my say so", if you like. I felt like a hypochondriac. Now I have PTSD and am coming to realise that all those years of suffering were most likely tied in with the emergence of my repressed memories. I still have no proof that there was anything wrong with me, but I do have a consistent and coherent story to back up my list of symptoms.

These days I tend to beat myself up over the idea that I have no proof of my childhood abuse. No evidence, no witnesses. Again, just on my word. And again, I feel like a faker, a fraud, an attention seeker, a hypochondriac. I should say that no-one else has ever accused me of being any of those things. I am very fortunate in that the people around me have been amazingly believing and supportive. I guess this is all part of the PTSD head f*ck.

I doubt you got any help out of this post

It's always helpful to know that I am not alone in what I have experienced.

 

[digger]

I also spent years suffering with costochondritis (painful rib joints).

Sorry don't want to take this thread off topic but......It's not very often I come across someone who's even heard of it! Costochondritis is the second biggest bane of my life!

 

[Samantha_38]

Oh my gosh, I have a rib that constantly pops in and out. I also hate that its on my say so. Although when followed up on enough my doctor has found things causing a big majority of the things I describe. Severe chest pain that no one could figure out we finally found blood clots in my lungs. Most recently I was complaining of bladder infection symptoms. It took two weeks and I was to the point I could feel it in my kidneys, but a urine analysis finally showed a raging infection.

My doctor has determined my nerves are super sensitive and I can feel things before others would. Since infections are in your body a week or two or longer before most people know, its definitely possible. At least he believes me, and because of that he has found things others have missed. I have definitely been given the "all you can ever have is an anxiety attack because you have ptsd stereotype" and I don't go back to those doctors.

 

[Bedbug]

Yes, @digger, I'm with you! And @Samantha_38, I have a rib that does that too. Not fully dislocated, just subluxated, but enough that it creates a visible lump that the doctor can see. Sorry that you've been through so much, but isn't it nice when there's proof we're not making it up?

 

[Samantha_38]

Yes nice, but so weird. Who jumps for joy when there is something diagnosibly wrong? THIS person! Not that I want to habe things wrong with me, but it is nice when there is an answer that has a treatment other than go home and rest. Also when that treatment actually makes you feel better. And when you have a name to call something that other people can relate to.

 

[HelenB]

I have also suffered occasional migraines for many years, and they were at their worst last year when after seeing my dad I developed a migraine which lasted about seven weeks and was very unwell and physically sick with it too. At that time I was totally in denial about the things which had happened to me but since that time the flashbacks and emotions of the past really bagan to come back a lot more and particularly after a series of EMDR where I was focussing on the things which had been coming up about my dad, things have really changed and I have not suffered migraines at all since that time. Over Christmas this year it was very hard as I again had to see him, and the emotions were all very strong, but I really do believe that still allowing myself to feel, even though it was so hard really helped me in that, and do believe that within myself the massive pressure with so much conflict within myself as I was struggling so much with the emotions and even accepting the reality of the way things were when I was finding it so hard to be able to express it, is what contributed so much to my migraines and everything which was going on physically with me at that time.

I also find the things you have said interesting and am glad to hear that you have had relief from them and really hope that as you are able more and more to face and express everything which does need to come up, that you will also find more relief from any other symptoms and find the freedom you deserve.

God bless
Helen

 

[franciemarnie]

Oh man, I have had such pain related to somatization of PTSD. Migraines until diagnosed finally and dealing with what happened, particularly feeling the emotions. I has migraines for decades. None since I started processing trauma energy.

That's not to say I still don't get trauma pain. Primarily pressure on my chest and burning feet. (No organic explanation.)

The worst was I would get a feeling like a knife going thru my ear drum. Luckily that passed. Now I get the feeling of an arrow thru my heart after seeing family.

Illness as metaphor. Susan Sontag wrote a book called that. I don't remember what she said. Read it over forty years ago before they named PTSD PTSD.

 

[Barconian]

I have a nervous stomach, some have migraines... I believe it is where we carry our worries :(

 

[Hope4Now]

Costochondritis

Yes! I had never heard of it either until my son was diagnosed with it a couple of months ago. He suffers from a lot of anxiety and some depression. Ouch ouch. I know how much pain he was in. I'm so sorry you suffer from it!