MeetalOyama
Not Active
Hi
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship of 10 months. We meet online while away on training (he's in the military). For the first month it was constant attention and affection. He would go out of his way to find a way to be with me.
Unfortunately he was deployed for 7 months and when he left he asked me to commit and be in a relationship with him. It was going to be hard but we will make it through and we were.
I noticed a change in him when he was overseas. He started becoming distant, didn't think much of it. He's at war, of course he's being distant. His deployment kept getting longer and longer and I could see it taking a tole on him. There was no more talk of him coming to see me, things that we were going to do.... oh and by the way he lives 3hr drive away so it's not like we can pop over and see each other.
He has kids and I have kids, plus he lives with his ex. Took me awhile to get over that but ever since he's been back it's like pulling teeth to get him to see me. It's been working out to one day a month that we get to spend together. We used to talk every day, we'd go a few days in between but the days are becoming longer.
He finally confident in me that his minds not there and he doesn't think he can make the time I need. He hasn't said he doesn't want a relationship with me. I even told him that I'm not breaking up with him so if he wants me I will stick by him but he needs to choose what he wants.
I've fallen for him and I don't want to quit but how can I help him see what he saw before. He's fallen back into his co-parenting marriage. It's fimiliar and he has his kids 24/7. Which he says the kids ground him. I even asked if he wanted to introduce the kids make it a little easier to share and spend time together. He just said he wasn't ready for that and that's fine, I'm personally not in a hurry but I just don't know how to help him.
He's going to therapy in 2 weeks through his work part of the reintegration process. So as per usual lately I won't hear from him till who knows when. When he returned home he never reactivated his cell phone, so we only can communicate via a app we use, skype or email.
I know what a lot of you are probably thinking, he's playing me but I trust him. We've been open and honest since the day we met, we have no secrets.
Does anyone have any advice for me, been through something similar?
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship of 10 months. We meet online while away on training (he's in the military). For the first month it was constant attention and affection. He would go out of his way to find a way to be with me.
Unfortunately he was deployed for 7 months and when he left he asked me to commit and be in a relationship with him. It was going to be hard but we will make it through and we were.
I noticed a change in him when he was overseas. He started becoming distant, didn't think much of it. He's at war, of course he's being distant. His deployment kept getting longer and longer and I could see it taking a tole on him. There was no more talk of him coming to see me, things that we were going to do.... oh and by the way he lives 3hr drive away so it's not like we can pop over and see each other.
He has kids and I have kids, plus he lives with his ex. Took me awhile to get over that but ever since he's been back it's like pulling teeth to get him to see me. It's been working out to one day a month that we get to spend together. We used to talk every day, we'd go a few days in between but the days are becoming longer.
He finally confident in me that his minds not there and he doesn't think he can make the time I need. He hasn't said he doesn't want a relationship with me. I even told him that I'm not breaking up with him so if he wants me I will stick by him but he needs to choose what he wants.
I've fallen for him and I don't want to quit but how can I help him see what he saw before. He's fallen back into his co-parenting marriage. It's fimiliar and he has his kids 24/7. Which he says the kids ground him. I even asked if he wanted to introduce the kids make it a little easier to share and spend time together. He just said he wasn't ready for that and that's fine, I'm personally not in a hurry but I just don't know how to help him.
He's going to therapy in 2 weeks through his work part of the reintegration process. So as per usual lately I won't hear from him till who knows when. When he returned home he never reactivated his cell phone, so we only can communicate via a app we use, skype or email.
I know what a lot of you are probably thinking, he's playing me but I trust him. We've been open and honest since the day we met, we have no secrets.
Does anyone have any advice for me, been through something similar?
