Sufferer Molested/victim Of Infidelity/abused

[OneLife2Live]

I have just discovered I have PTSD...self-diagnosis, but I have all of the symptoms. I just cannot afford therapy, I am trying to conquer this on my own and without medication. I am being positive that I can do it, but at times I literally feel like a prisoner to my own mind. At times I do well with controlling it, but most of the time I cannot control it. I hate this! I hate the constant anxiety, triggers, flashbacks, and feeling so helpless and hopeless. It is affecting my relationships and my life. It is a constant battle in my head. I deal with this on a daily basis. I would like to get to where it is less frequent and then not at all. I am hoping I can do this without medication. I am an art teacher/artist and I am thinking about starting some art therapy. Is there anyone that is in my situation? What do you do to help you?

 

[ihateusernames]

Welcome @Dekenipp! I didn't realize that I was doing it, but I have done a lot of "art therapy" in the past. It's helpful for me. Don't give up hope on finding a therapist, though. There are resources out there. Sometimes even seeing an intern for $15 is better than nothing. There are also fully licensed therapists who offer pro-bono hours to people with financial need. This was the arrangement we had with our marriage counselor. We saw her for 2 years completely for free.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi and welcome to the forum!

Funny you mention art therapy as I just made a response in another thread about it, and I've spent the last hour searching for an art therapist. The bad news is that nobody takes my insurance (many art therapists don't take insurance it seems) but the good news is that I'm poor so I can get a reduced rate on a sliding scale.

I urge you to seek out a professional assessment at the very least so that you know what your diagnosis is and that will give you a starting point for treatment.

Your last question is a bit broad.....can you possibly narrow it down? What are your biggest struggles that you need help with?

 

[OneLife2Live]

I have obsessive thoughts and acts trigger fear of my past. I have really bad anxiety. When I'm having an episode I tense up to where I cannot control it. I physically (internally and externally). My hearts races and I feel sick! All from fear of the trauma I have endured throughout my life. On a daily basis I battle with my mind. I just want to know how to deal wi

@Solara

Every time I paint I feel a release. I am an art teacher and do my own art so I have thought about maybe doing art therapy with others. I have looked into it and you have to have a certification in that area. I am going to figure out a way I can do it without going through more schooling. I already have the experience teaching art to others and doing art therapy for myself. I think doing more of it for myself and also helping others will be good for me.

Yes, my question was broad...sorry about that. My biggest struggles are dealing with my obsessive thoughts and behavior. I can't seem to get a grip on it. I am easily triggered. I battle with my mind on a daily basis and usually it gets the best of me. I feel like I have little control. My thoughts cause me anxiety...to the point of a racing heart, physically shaking, muscles tensing up, and I get sick to my stomach. I never realized going through the things I have gone through could effect me like this. Rather than confronting things I suppressed them and now it has all surfaced.

I plan on seeking professional assistance, but my insurance does not cover mental health so I have to find something I can afford, and do a lot of self-help.

 

[OneLife2Live]

@ihateusernames

Thank you for your help. I am going to do more art therapy. I would like to teach art therapy online to also help others. I am an art teacher so I know I could help others, while also helping myself.

I will check into the interns and pro-bono. I am ready to work through this. I refuse to accept this is going to have any control over me for the rest of my life. I need to find my sanity!

 

[intothelight]

@OneLife2Live Welcome to the forum!

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome, @OneLife2Live! I'd encourage you to check out your local chapter of NAMI https://www.nami.org/
They often have peer support groups and other, more qualified resources that are free to the public.