My boyfriend is a good guy, he just can not comprehend or remember or even understand the oppression.
Such as populations I serve in my social work career ..he is quick to judge that there are no barriers only rugged individualism (he doesn't even know what that is but believes anyone can) is how its done.Although we talked it out he still won't see it any other way but "lazyness".
Lately ,I found myself being less attracted to him and among other issues we've faced have added to that. After finally gaining at least a mutual understanding that not all oppressed populations are the same on that issue, then comes the trigger of mine, his eyeballing of attractive women, of which is not severe as in guaking but it makes me feel unattractive and unworthy. I understand it's natural to notice, but looking twice triggers my ptsd of emotional, verbal and physical abuse of my past. Three to five months in (now been a year) he apologized and said that is wrong, that he was single for a very long time, he will correct it. Wellll,happened again just other day and now I'm delusional and blames my "issue". On top of that he is also whining about no intimacy for a month , and indirectly admitted "if he did look" (after swearing he didn't over and over again) it's cause of lack in intimacy. Now Im feeling manipulated into guilt. As well as him feeling I'm not taking care of him.
---- I think I have defined love differently after finally ending my abuse and staying single for years, I also feel his perspective is close enough to a "locker room banter" perspective and he's 42 years old. I have been very open and blunt about being fearful of my heart will be broken, respect, fear , triggers and now he's resenting me and using my disorder as the source of problem. He has showed patience (without understanding) until now. And yes I've sent information via text and email on ptsd and generalized anxiety.
I feel he's turning on me and only tolerating me. I'm frustrated, sad , anxious and it's taking a toll on me at least every week or so now (like today). I guess I'm asking too much by wishing he was understanding.
Such as populations I serve in my social work career ..he is quick to judge that there are no barriers only rugged individualism (he doesn't even know what that is but believes anyone can) is how its done.Although we talked it out he still won't see it any other way but "lazyness".
Lately ,I found myself being less attracted to him and among other issues we've faced have added to that. After finally gaining at least a mutual understanding that not all oppressed populations are the same on that issue, then comes the trigger of mine, his eyeballing of attractive women, of which is not severe as in guaking but it makes me feel unattractive and unworthy. I understand it's natural to notice, but looking twice triggers my ptsd of emotional, verbal and physical abuse of my past. Three to five months in (now been a year) he apologized and said that is wrong, that he was single for a very long time, he will correct it. Wellll,happened again just other day and now I'm delusional and blames my "issue". On top of that he is also whining about no intimacy for a month , and indirectly admitted "if he did look" (after swearing he didn't over and over again) it's cause of lack in intimacy. Now Im feeling manipulated into guilt. As well as him feeling I'm not taking care of him.
---- I think I have defined love differently after finally ending my abuse and staying single for years, I also feel his perspective is close enough to a "locker room banter" perspective and he's 42 years old. I have been very open and blunt about being fearful of my heart will be broken, respect, fear , triggers and now he's resenting me and using my disorder as the source of problem. He has showed patience (without understanding) until now. And yes I've sent information via text and email on ptsd and generalized anxiety.
I feel he's turning on me and only tolerating me. I'm frustrated, sad , anxious and it's taking a toll on me at least every week or so now (like today). I guess I'm asking too much by wishing he was understanding.
