Childhood Mother Told Me She Ignored Me As An Infant

[illusionist]

Op.....maybe if you think about modern aspects of child rearing that are socially acceptable, and encouraged......take a step back and question them?.....parents no doubt think they are doing the right things?......and they will be speaking, and thinking exactly the same as your mother in later years....as that is what society brainwashed them into believing was the right things to do.

 

[BuckarooBanzai]

She definitely thought that she was doing the right thing, which is what actually might make it the hardest, I think. There is no rationalizing with her and she won't ever be able to understand that she did something wrong.

Yes, she probably did believe in the technique at that time. Even if she knows better now, though, she might not be willing to face the concept lest she experience pain and remorse.

My parents once put me in my crib at 8PM and let me scream uninterrupted for hours. They did not understand that an infant doesn't have the ability to soothe itself. I screamed for hours until I fell asleep. I screamed so hard and so long that the neighbors pounded on our front door out of fear that my parents were abusing me. They left me alone without checking on me until morning. My mother said that, when she went in my room to get me the next morning, I was still sobbing.

She regrets her actions to this day. She feels guilty and wishes she'd known better. It's hard for me to feel angry with her because she is remorseful.

 

[Gs172003]

I think it helps when something was done to us through sheer ignorance rather than intent to harm...

How Long to Cry It Out (CIO) | The Baby Sleep Site - Baby / Toddler Sleep Consultants

 

[Gs172003]

Alot of child rearing is trial and error especially in the days before the internet. Way back when we didn't have Google to consult and thousands of other parents to get ideas from. It was generally what your mom told you or your neighbors. Or friends. You get the idea.