Moving And Scared

[sonicwhite]

I'll be alright moving. Somethings just stress me out when I dont trust God has everything covered. Than He shows up in a big way to show me I'm alright.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

I too am of Christian faith. I believe God doesn't allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear, but the key word is WE can bear. He doesn't fight the temptation for us. We have to fight it ourselves. If we choose not to, that's on us, not Him.

You are, and I don't mean this offensively, an addict. Klonipin is addictive. I know you say you need it and are not addicted to it. But once you lose the gabapentin and pregabilin, you are going to try to replace them with something else. That's why I feel nervous about the Klonipin. You don't abuse it now because you don't have to. But when you lose the meds that make you high, having access to another med than can make you high and is high in addiction potential is NOT ideal. You need to find healthy alternatives - exercise, meditation, prayer. Volunteer at church. Find a local soup kitchen where you can volunteer.

Be honest with your new doc. COMPLETELY honest. Tell him how addicted you have been to the gabapentin and pregabilin. Tell him how much klonipin you take every day, and what your symptoms are like if you DON'T take the klonipin.

I believe moving could be a clean slate for you, in some ways. People won't know you, you'll be able to reshape your social life. But your addictions are moving with you. Moving will make the addictions worse if you have access to the substances you use, because even positive moves are super stressful.

Spend time reading the Bible, especially 1 Corinthians 10 (and even more specifically, verse 13). Go to church and get as involved as you possibly can. Pray often and sincerely. Find someone to be accountable to, either at your church or your doctor or if you go to a rehab group.

 

[bring em all in]

I too am of Christian faith. I believe God doesn't allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear...

While I am of a different religion than Shodokan (I'm Buddhist) I can attest to the value of spirituality in dealing with addiction.

Also, I consider myself a Klonopin addict even though I do not "abuse it." I have been taking it as prescribed-never more in quantity or frequency. What makes me an addict is not what it does to me (I no longer feel giddy or even sleepy when I take it), but because of how I feel if I don't take it. I'm not sure that difference matters much in the long run, but it strengthens my resolve as I continue to taper down. It's a slow process after having been on it nearly a decade, but I am making progress. I'm down to half of a .5 pill per night.

 

[sonicwhite]

That's good. I take one mg three times a day as prescribed. It's the gabapentin and lyrica I have trouble with. When I abuse those meds I feel ten feet tall and bullet proof.


It is an addiction I didn't ask for. In 08 when I gave doctors the right away to help me they put me on gabapentin. At first it just made me spacey. Than when I would buy Xanax on the streets I noticed that gabapentin covered up my withdrawals perfectly.


So I didn't ask for this but it's my choice to either stop the addiction by moving and telling docs the whole truth so I do not fall back into temptation.


I think that's why my truck got stolen. My roommates said I had two months to live here until I have to move. So God knew he could use what evil men did for His glory. By moving it's giving me a new chance to thrive as a Christian.


God also said He will make a way of escape if I'm being tempted more than I can handle. So praise be to God for delivering me in such a awesome way.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

But once you lose the gabapentin and pregabilin, you are going to try to replace them with something else. That's why I feel nervous about the Klonipin. You don't abuse it now because you don't have to. But when you lose the meds that make you high, having access to another med than can make you high and is high in addiction potential is NOT ideal.

I do agree with this for some people and some meds. But if I use myself as example, it isn't the case.

I am an addict. No question about that. My drug of choice was coke & crack but after I got clean from that, years later I started huffing duster. Mainly because it doesn't show up on drug tests and easy & legal to buy. I had a VERY bad addiction to duster. I got clean off of that while taking a pretty large amount of opioids. I never got high or abused my pain meds because i dont like opioids. Opioids are big. Herion is an opioid. But I don't like it thus it was never an issue. Today I have an internal pain pump deliverying pain meds (and meds for my neuopathy) directly to my spine automatically but even when I was on oral & patch meds I had never abused them.

I was and still am on Xanax as well.

I was honest with my pain Dr and my therapist also knows what i am on and what I got high on. Etc.

I do agree its a worry but I dont agree that if you take away what you get high on you will always want to replace it with other meds that can make you high.

I would 100% be honest with the Dr and housemates and anyone else that should know and whom can support you. I do agree to find alternative ways to help, always anyway. So I do agree with you about that. And really about all of it. The thing is, you must be honest with yourself. You can tell the Dr anything but if you arent honest with yourself that the Klonipin is a problem, then you wont be and stay clean.