Moving trigger

[SeekingAfrica]

What do I do, how do I do it?
I have to move out of my apartment without getting new ones and get to my parents in a neighboring country. I have to leave pieces of luggage with friends like breadcrumbs of my life. I have to get rid of so much. I have to move furniture and clean and pack boxes. It's all a mess.
And I'm trying but I have10 days and with small changes I cry like the world is ending. How do I getthis done??

HOW do I accept this? I was born poor and getting rid of things I'm not sure how I'll buy again cuts deep.

How is this my life?? Feels like I can't be present, I can't be me. And without bring present I lose time and money and doing things last moment makes me panic so I should work on it...

But I just moved 2 things and cried like a baby. I feel so weak.

 

[Movingforward10]

It's a lot to digest.

Grieving the loss of your home. Grieving the loss of your belongings.
Preparing to move country. And in with your family.
And having your things in various places.
.that is a lot!

Does breaking it down help?
Do two things. Have a cry. A sit down. Do two more things have a cry. A sit down. And repeat?

Can a friend help you pack?

Can reframing some things help? It's positive you have parents to move to. It will help with the financial pressure you have been feeling. And without the financial pressure maybe it will help with all the PTSD stuff. Help settle you a bit.

That belongings can be replaced. As hard as it is.
And having a clear out: sometimes we don't need all the things we have.

But, little steps.

 

[arfie]

But I just moved 2 things and cried like a baby.

i count 3 actions here. i will count the crying as the most productive action. it is part of the acceptance by which you can purge the old dysfunctions and begin to build a stronger a stable base from which to launch future daring adventures.

I feel so weak.

perhaps the most important thing i learned during my escape from the throwaway kid camps is that there is great strength in weakness. a trait all my favorite heroes have in common is advisors/counselors. world leaders have their cabinets/courts. movie stars have agents and directors. developing the social skills to guide me in knowing when/where/how to show the weak spots in which i need help was my ticket out of the criminal poverty i was born to.

getting rid of things I'm not sure how I'll buy again cuts deep.

they are just things. now that i have so many things that keeping up with the obligations of ownership is a full-time-plus job, i've grown quite nostalgic for the days bread crumb trails. how wicked is THAT irony?

 

[Defaultxlove]

I’m with you. I’m in a dark hole but eating something, that’s a good sign

Don’t be so hard your self SA please lots of love

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Does breaking it down help?

In general. But this is like a project I don't have a list for because it's too big so I'm scared to make a list.

I also need to work but I'm so frozen. Panic or anxiety wear off in waves. It's the 3rd day I'm doing almost nothing because of this.
Friends are helping in many other ways so I don't have anyone to ask more of.

Will edit the post later to answer the rest, having a major dark moment right now. It's storm outside, some light bulbs need replacing, can't go to the store, I feel guilty if I selfcare, too frozen to pack, too confused to startside gigs or apply. It's like I'm in a cage with 7 keys and I can't unlock any...

 

[Friday]

Speaking as a lifelong mover-traveler, some of the below is just “this is my jam!”; whilst the second part is dealing with the triggery-stress-ish-ness. To be super clear? I’m NOT saying “do it this way”. I’m saying “this is what I do, how, & why”.

A) I pack what I’m taking WITH me… once, twice, or thrice… depending on how much time I have.

1. Zombie-apocalypse-pack. IE no matter how much does/does not get done after that? I’m going to be okay. I have everything I actually NEED, and a few things I want. For ME that looks like
- Backpack.
- 2 Changes of clothes + whole lotta socks
- Toiletry bag & laundry kit (soap, towel, mesh bag that fits into my toiletry bag).
- Big & Everyday Med Kits.
- MokaPot, coffee, & cup.
- Flashlight(s)
- Traveling weapons (clearly, these depend on where/how I’m travelling).
- Anything super-special I want on me at all times
- (some version of travel food) PowerBars/Jerky/Pemmican/Powdered Meal Replacement & twisty shaker bottle, etc.
- Wallet/Passport

2. Doing it up in STYLE. (AKA Yay! I’ve. Got. LUGGAGE). I split however many pieces of luggage I have up roughly 50/50 between practical & sentimental. These things are both important to me AND cannot be easily replaced. (I cannot even begin to estimate how many Belgian Waffle Makers I’ve walked away from). Again, just like when my backpack is done I CAN walk out the door? Once my luggage is packed, everything else is bonus.

3. BOXES. I live out of my luggage, and go room by room and box it all up. Get one room done, and move onto the next one. Get another room done, and move onto the next. Sometimes I’ll add things TO my luggage / but I don’t save anything out, otherwise. If it’s in the room I’m packing? It gets packed. I usually save my kitchen for last. BoxesProTrick? Write the room it came from on the outside in sharpie, but save a contents list for a sticky note you can remove, or tuck inside. Removes other people’s temptation, to keep boxes nice and boring on the outside. BR, LR, KT.

3.5 Limited Boxes If I’m only able to ship/store a limited amount of what I own? I split the boxes in each room.
- My favorite or most expensive things, that I would LIKE to ship/store, but don’t know if I’ll be able to.
- Things I WANT to give away (gifts).
- Everything Else.

Worst case scenario, I don’t get to keep anything, but even if I end up getting to keep some? I already have things split, on different sides of the room (usually one small stack, and one huge one) so I only have to small stack to go through. No matter what, though? Everything being boxed means it’s super easy to clean (IF I’m cleaning. After all, I can walk out with just my backpack, if I need to!)

***

B) On the PTSD Front?

1. Play Music, to both SET the mood (not reflect what I’m already feeling), & keep it, & my focus.

2. In between each “thing” (whether it’s packing my bag, a suitcase, a box, or a room)? I take a break. I don’t think of it as self-care, because it’s a different rule-set, but that’s exactly what it is… and it’s brilliant on the dysreg side of things.

Whether it’s a 5 minutes smoke/coffee/tea break, or a snack, or washing my face, or stretching, or katas, or whatever? It’s clearing my head, and massive stress reduction, and grounding-grounding-grounding. All the little small breaks that may see, stupid to take ADD UP to soooooo much more being able to be done, so much faster, with so much more clear thinking/feeling/focus… AND… they’re priming me / training me to take BIG breaks, after BIG things, instead of pushing-on, until I break.

In between each “BIG THING” (backpack, luggage, room 1, room 2, etc.). I take a BIG BREAK. Make & eat a meal, take a shower & run some errands (or just go for a run), take a nap or watch a movie or meet up with friends, or, or, or. Looking at a designated “moving free” couple hours, no stress, no guilt, no worry, this time is set aside.

3. By breaking everything up into pieces (apocalypse/style/boxes // small breaks & big)? It not only creates a structure, & removes the maelstrom of decision making all wide-eyed-overwhelmed-all-of-it to focused decision making, with narrow focus; just this. Just that. Just this other.), & trains in the stress management/self care… so I get a helluva lot more done, waaaaaay more sane, by accounting for my PTSD rather than being trampled by it.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

@Friday and @arfie and everyone else- this is why I love AI, and I need the support of friends in person too- but sometimes I get the best advice in such treads. Nothing beats so much personal experience ...

I'm not gonna lie,everything is still a lot, but some things in this tread are helping me let go of more objects and believe I'll be able to get them again in the future. That's huge, thank you!

Also I liked the separation of stuff to related to moving vs. Ptsd effects help asboth are needed.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Got rid of some major stuff today. Letting go is starting to be easier and mak8ng me feel lighter.

The only thing killing me is if I can't make enough for all obligations before going home, I may have to sell my tablet for almost nothing to pay for small daily stuff. Unlike waffle makers, tablet helps me use my broken rundown computer a little less to preserve it until I get a new one. It 2as also bought to learn digital drawing, which my laptop is too old for. That one is killing me. If I do I'll have to pray for my computer to keep holding and given that I mainly worked on computer for the past decade it's not good.

But still. Had some wins today in letting stuff go, which is a huge thing,comparatively.

 

[Friday]

The only thing killing me is if I can't make enough for all obligations before going home, I may have to sell my tablet for almost nothing to pay for small daily stuff. Unlike waffle makers, tablet helps me use my broken rundown computer a little less to preserve it until I get a new one. It 2as also bought to learn digital drawing, which my laptop is too old for. That one is killing me. If I do I'll have to pray for my computer to keep holding and given that I mainly worked on computer for the past decade it's not good.

My tablet would fall under “things I keep on me at all times”.

Can you sell your blood/plasma in the country you’re in?

Or hold a “Bon Voyage Bake Sale”? Friends/neighbors bake cookies, muffins, etc., AND buy other people’s, all proceeds in a jar for journeys. At 1€ a cookie/muffin, you’d probably make more than selling your tablet for a song.

 

[RainbowSearchParty]

I’ve moved countries before and left almost everything behind. Surprisingly, I didn’t miss most of it. It’s just stuff but you are whole, remember that you are the most important thing.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I can't do this, I really can't, I have to leave in a week and I can't function... I'm meeting my landlord today and she maybe mad, and she has right to but it feels like one word will break me.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Recalibrate and negotiated the move for a month from now instead of end of this month. It's a win but I'm so exhausted I've slept most of the day and night after and 5min tasks are exhausting. Hopefully getting better soon.
Everything has been so intense and now that there is an inch more freedom I'm crashing like a broken computer.