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Music, Trauma, And Dissociation

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I found this really great powerpoint presentation that correlates the effects of trauma and childhood sexual abuse with the singing voice. I feel like this is really a field of study that has a lot of potential.
 

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Nadia.
Have you thought of trying to locate someone in your area who specialises in music therapy? Along with art therapy, music is one of the most common expressive therapies that could be a really useful adjunct to your more traditional trauma therapy. While I wouldn't recommend it as an alternative, and would suggest you discuss it with your current T first, it sounds as though music is a very powerful channel to your inner processing and may well be useful for you to pursue, not to mention also allowing you to find some structure and a return to your more conscious appreciation of music.

Just a thought.

Maddog
 
Have you tried recording what you play? That might be a way of working backwards if you are wanting to write out your composition.

Dissociation is a common factor in creativity. I write creatively whilst dissociating. But I find creative dissociation is quite a positive outlet.

When I tried a creative writing course, I found it such a strain to have to think about what I was writing and the writing lost its profoundness. So I've gone back to dissociating and just writing for me again.

So it might be that music is better used at the moment as part of your recovery. As Maddog suggested, if you could find a music therapist to help you to use your ability to aid your recovery, it could be beneficial.
 
A few days ago I had a strong dissociative episode just before wanting to sing for my good friend at her wedding. I even lost time and barely was able to speak. I don't know myself anymore. I am totally blocked. I really want to be able to sing and pursue my music. I want it so badly, I am in conflict with myself. How can the anxiety come from such an unknown source. It used to be no problem for me.
 
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