Must Not Give In

[Ice_Fire]

Right now, I am so desperate to self-harm. It's been months since I last hurt myself. Although in a sense I've already hurt myself recently, but I am referring now to cutting.

I get that there are ways of staying distracted, the ice trick, elastic bands and so forth. But it's the feeling of wanting to that is distressing, the actual self-harm itself is just a symptom.

Any thoughts anyone? How have people got through without giving in? Should I just try and allow the emotions to come up (seems impossible) or shut them down and ignore it all until the 'I want to do 'x'' urge passes?

 

[therapybankrupt]

Ice Fire you could try ripping up a phone book or catalog. Writing your thoughts down. Excersize works for some people. A walk. Remind yourself this feeling will also pass. I know its hard cause of the coping you have been using. You do not deserve to be hurt. Stay safe! I am sending some gentle hugs if you will accept? You are not alone.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Thanks for the hug, much needed. :hug:

 

[therapybankrupt]

Sometime reaching out is all we need to do. You are so deserving of the hug I am glad you accepted it! Let me know if any of the tools work for you.

 

[Ice_Fire]

...First find phone book...

Joking aside, thank you. Yes, just reaching out and having someone respond is enough to make me stop and think that maybe I don't need to self harm. Maybe...will be glad when tonight is over.

 

[Ice_Fire]

I'm feeling vile, like I need to...somehow rid myself of all the bad...punish myself? Hard to explain. Been a while since I've felt like this. Wondering if bed would be the best place for me.

 

[safenow]

Safe hugs if you'll allow it, ice_Fire. Know that I'm thinking of you tonight. If you go to bed, will you be able to sleep, or will it just give you more time to think?

 

[Ice_Fire]

Ended up staying awake until about 2.30-3 am. Like you say Safenow, it made me think too much.

Anyway, got through the night without hurting myself. Chuffed.

(((((hugs)))))

 

[safenow]

I'm so proud of you, Ice_Fire. You did good.

Today is a new day. Be sure to breathe some good cleansing breathes. You might want to peek outside today and look at nature. Smell the air (cough cough). Touch a tree.

Thinking of you today.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Thank you Safenow. I went to get my hair cut this morning and I have class this afternoon. I think on my way to college I'll go through the wood in the grounds.

Forcing myself out as I know staying home won't help and I'd be disappointed in myself.

I ache so much today. :(

 

[therapybankrupt]

Anyway, got through the night without hurting myself. Chuffed.

Ice Fire you getting stronger! Congrats on not harming yourself!

 

[Ice_Fire]

Thank you. I guess maybe I am getting stronger yeah. :D