I am relatively new to PTSD. My boyfriend has PTSD as the result of a traumatic event he suffered when he was a teenager and his deployments in Iraq while in th Army. Before we met in person, we talked online for many months. Finally, after asking me a couple of times, I went out to see him for three weeks in January/ February. He was very affectionate, sweet, and told me he loved me many times while I was there.
Within a week of returning home, he asked if I would come back and stay for a month. I went back to see him and ended up staying for six weeks. This time things were a little bit different. He still told me he loved me, but not as often. We went everywhere around the state, cooked together, laughed, talked way into the wee hours of the morning, and enjoyed each other's company very much.
While I was there, he suffered from PTSD episodes of crying over friends he lost during the war, and anxiety attacks where he would start to shake uncontrollably and bouts of vomitting. We visited the ER a couple of times when his blood pressure spiked. I listened intently while the doctor talked to him about the anxiety attacks. What to do, and what would help.
I told him I loved him very much, and he seemed happy knowing that. Then slowly he started to change. He would slap me hard on the arm, leg, foot, and anywhere else. He would also pinch me hard until I bruised and once bit me on the arm so hard that I had a large bruise. If I complained that it hurt, he would only do it harder. He said he was trying to show me how to defend myself and gave me permission to hit him back. I finally couldn't take all the slapping and pinching and broke down in tears. He put his arms around me, apologized and never did it again.
Now since I am back home, he will not say he loves me. I asked him why, and he said it's not me, it is him. He just can't right now. He is still very affectionate, and I know he cares about me very much. He has been having some mood swings where one minute he is affectionate and caring, and the next minute he is mad at me and does not want to talk to me for a day or so. I know I did nothing wrong to deserve his fury.
I feel he is pushing me away, because he is afraid I will abandon him like his two wives did. I love this man with all my heart and soul. I've learned to forgive him, because I know he can't help it when he gets these mood swings. I do not feel sorry for him, but admire him for what he has done in his life, and who he is. I have seen his sweet and affectionte side, and know this is his true personality. I will follow him to the ends of the earth if he lets me.
What else can I do to assure him of my love and loyalty, so he will not push me away?
Within a week of returning home, he asked if I would come back and stay for a month. I went back to see him and ended up staying for six weeks. This time things were a little bit different. He still told me he loved me, but not as often. We went everywhere around the state, cooked together, laughed, talked way into the wee hours of the morning, and enjoyed each other's company very much.
While I was there, he suffered from PTSD episodes of crying over friends he lost during the war, and anxiety attacks where he would start to shake uncontrollably and bouts of vomitting. We visited the ER a couple of times when his blood pressure spiked. I listened intently while the doctor talked to him about the anxiety attacks. What to do, and what would help.
I told him I loved him very much, and he seemed happy knowing that. Then slowly he started to change. He would slap me hard on the arm, leg, foot, and anywhere else. He would also pinch me hard until I bruised and once bit me on the arm so hard that I had a large bruise. If I complained that it hurt, he would only do it harder. He said he was trying to show me how to defend myself and gave me permission to hit him back. I finally couldn't take all the slapping and pinching and broke down in tears. He put his arms around me, apologized and never did it again.
Now since I am back home, he will not say he loves me. I asked him why, and he said it's not me, it is him. He just can't right now. He is still very affectionate, and I know he cares about me very much. He has been having some mood swings where one minute he is affectionate and caring, and the next minute he is mad at me and does not want to talk to me for a day or so. I know I did nothing wrong to deserve his fury.
I feel he is pushing me away, because he is afraid I will abandon him like his two wives did. I love this man with all my heart and soul. I've learned to forgive him, because I know he can't help it when he gets these mood swings. I do not feel sorry for him, but admire him for what he has done in his life, and who he is. I have seen his sweet and affectionte side, and know this is his true personality. I will follow him to the ends of the earth if he lets me.
What else can I do to assure him of my love and loyalty, so he will not push me away?
