Sufferer My Complex Ptsd

[Annabelle]

O.k so my stories a biggy so I will post in parts. Firstly I am a 27 year old female a mother to a beautiful 4 year old boy and I have been in a relationship with a great man for the past two years. I was sexually abused from the age of 3-7, by my step-father, I was thrown back and forth on guardianship orders until I was made a ward of the Sate at 7. My mother and brother 14 years ago both tortured my step dad and kept him in garage for two weeks, he dies two months later when his life support was pulled-he couldn't survive the injuries he sustained, my brother and I were very close he grew up with me in care too but ran away when I was 13, my brother was acquitted of my step dads murder 12 years ago, and three years ago my mother was charged with the murder and ended up with a conviction of manslaughter and a 3 year suspended sentence....that's where I'll stop with my story (earlier life anyhow) for now, I don't wan to freak you all out! So I've been studying Justice for the past year and a half (I hope to work as a juvenile justice worker one day), but the last unit I've had to do this year is Child Protection (in fact my exam is tomorrow and then I'm finished for the year) but this unit is dragging up my past, making me angry at my mother, I saw a psychologist yesterday, but I had my first argument with my partner last night that resolved in me to push and wind him because he yelled back at me for the first time ever, I just freaked, his always taken my anger episodes so well....I'm scared it's breaking his mental health

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome to the forum, @Annabelle. Don't worry about freaking anyone out around here - it's important to get to say the things you need to say.

If you need more help finding your way around the forum, this is a good place to start:
Link Removed

I'm glad you found your way here.

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the forums :)

I can't say I'm sorry your stepfather met his end the way he did after sexually abusing the kids in his care, but I am deeply sorry for the added everything that goes along with that for you and your family. About the only reason I don't do the same to my son's father is knowing first hand how pernicious torture is. Not for him, I DGAF about my ex he's earned worse, but for what it could do to my son should he ever find out. There aren't words I know to describe that. Knowing someone you loved/hated died badly, much less by someone else you love/hate? It's a rare thing here in the States, it's different from straight up DV somehow, and a damn hard road to walk, here or anywhere. Life ain't like the movies. & We rarely feel the way we expect to. Thrilled when we think we should feel regret, sickened when we think we should feel proud, angry for no damn reason at all... And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Yep. 2nding, Joey. This here is a PTSD site, not a stubbed your toe site... We're used to hard and dark things, round these parts. We've all of us with PTSD lived through them. Know it's never as simple as we might wish, or other people assume it "should" be.

Sorry you're here. Glad you found us.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Welcome to the forum

 

[Annabelle]

FridayJones, thank you for you reply...his deaths not hard at all every dog has their day they say....It's loosing my family to the prison system that's hurt from all off this or caused more of the PTSD symptoms that keep rearing their ugly heads, my brother was never bailed awaiting trial: even though he was aquitted of the charge, he spent two years inside and because we had already grown up in foster homes it suited him and his been back in for the past 14 years,his only spent two years outside of jail since he was 15

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Welcome to the forum I send a :hug: from the UK if you accept them

Laurie

 

[Annabelle]

Thanks again everyone for welcoming as much as I wish I didn't need to be here I'm grateful that there is a place I can come to and reach out to people who understand.....does anyone else struggle with this? They feel like no one understands them?

 

[Lucycat]

Hi and Welcome to the forum.
I hope you find the information on here helpful and the people supportive - I know I have!
Regards, Lucy x

 

[intothelight]

Welcome! :)