• All donations and upgrades are manually verified and approved within 24hrs.
  • Upgrades are ongoing. Learn how to save your bookmarked posts.

My diary of random thoughts

Thread starter #157
And, honestly, I am scared that the same thing will happen to me again. I know it’s crazy, but damn...being arrested after someone pulls a gun on you and lied about it? I’m so sorry to complain about it, but I FEAR it
 
But that's two huge areas you can work on already...

The trauma (and surrounding attachment issues, betrayal, etc)

And that other posts quote are not helpful. Because I doubt *none* posts of others have merit... it's more that you don't ask yourself what the value / benefit in these words is, or could be, for your life.
 
Thread starter #159
But that's two huge areas you can work on already...

The trauma (and surrounding attachment issues, betrayal, etc)

And that other posts quote are not helpful. Because I doubt *none* posts of others have merit... it's more that you don't ask yourself what the value / benefit in these words is, or could be, for your life.
I truly apologize. My anxiety is so bad. I’ve had this issue before - in therapy, through all of this. And my self esteem is just super low
But that's two huge areas you can work on already...

The trauma (and surrounding attachment issues, betrayal, etc)

And that other posts quote are not helpful. Because I doubt *none* posts of others have merit... it's more that you don't ask yourself what the value / benefit in these words is, or could be, for your life.
I didn’t say no one’s did, just that the breakdown makes more sense to me. But the anxiety and feeling like I am on speed is awful...I do meditate and try to use grounding techniques, but it is awful. I never would have thought that this would have been so bad or weird...
 
Just a question, is meditation helping you?

Asking because some times, it can spin people out massive, instead - into doubting very existential facts of life.

Just focusing on grounding may be more beneficial, the now and reality based practical approaches?

No apologies needed, I get it takes longer for some to take suggestions in.
 
Thread starter #161
Just a question, is meditation helping you?

Asking because some times, it can spin people out massive, instead - into doubting very existential facts of life.

Just focusing on grounding may be more beneficial, the now and reality based practical approaches?

No apologies needed, I get it takes longer for some to take suggestions in.
So, the meditation helps sometimes. I use it to focus on my breath. Damn, I just can’t believe I am in this situation because my ex set me up. 🤦🏻‍♀️😥
 
Thread starter #163
Reality, even though it makes me depressed. I never should have talked to the psychics. I don’t understand what is happening other than trauma. I get that my ex was a narcissist, and that I am naive, but this is just the worst feeling in the world. And knowing my life will never be the same? And always needing reassurance now????
 
I found a therapist that showed me there were other feelings going on besides anger and betrayal. I listened. I tried the things she suggested. She was a DBT therapist which was what I really needed at the time. She taught me to do different things with the feelings I had. Not just stay stuck in the pain and anger.

And I slowly started to see that I had choices about what I was allowing to go on in my thoughts.

I do understand your anger and betrayal. I do. But I also realized as Ronin said, I had to take the focus off of what was done to me and start getting my personal power back. I remember having those first few breakthrus and feeling the pain lifting.

It became about me getting my power back instead of continuing to let others and their actions dictate how my life was going to be.

It took time. But I had also dedicated a lot of time to stay in anger and pain. If I could give that same time to seeing if I could dig myself out of where I was, I started to move forward.

I did a lot of things that were scary, had a lot of unknown outcomes, that hurt, but thru that, I saw flashes of relief. Flashes of finding myself again. Yes I was a different person, but at my core, I was still me.

We really want you to experience the self-empowerment of taking hold of your life and finding different ways to cope.

I wish you a safe place to start this work and know that we are here for the recovery of AnnieMae. If you can withstand the pain you have been in all this time, you can definitely pave the way for a more healthy life.
 
Thread starter #168
I know that everyone says it will get better, but this is tough. I feel absolutely horrible today. I am tired, crying and so depressed. I just wish things were so different. I just don’t know what to do. The stress in my body right now is awful. I feel like I was hit by a bus. I am so ready for the weekend. Ready for some golf and a party.
 
Top Bottom